


Not What It Seems

by Imalwaysdown



Series: Not What It Seems [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anorexia, Awkward Flirting, Dating, Depression, Drinking to Cope, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flirting, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Gaslighting, GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Good Friend Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Homophobia, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Jealousy, Just stop reading at 25, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Physical Abuse, Protective Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, REMINDER: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE TRIGGERED BY ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS, Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ending, Sad GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sexual Assault, Slashing, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicidal Thoughts, There’s an alt ending if you don’t like happy endings, Third Wheel Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Vomiting, Whipping, Will Have An Alternate Ending, at some point, dating apps, having sex to cope, probably, you just gotta wait
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 72,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26718505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imalwaysdown/pseuds/Imalwaysdown
Summary: Is George’s relationship with his boyfriend really what it seems?...please read all of the tags for triggers, there is so many and i don’t want to trigger anyone or risk anything bad happening.(The writing gets better I promise)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)/ Original Character, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF) & Original Character(s), GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)/ Original Character
Series: Not What It Seems [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989637
Comments: 860
Kudos: 1826
Collections: THE BEST





	1. Dating Apps

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! this is my first time posting dnf here!! I hope you like it. I am in no way romanticizing abuse. This is to bring awareness and angst is one of my favs to write!!

It was weird at first for George, having a boyfriend. It wasn't what he was used to, especially since he was new to a relationship with another guy. It had taken him too long to figure out he was gay in the first place, so having a boyfriend now was a big change. It wasn't like he was used to having many relationships anyway, he had only one girlfriend in his life and they dated for a month. They both had been only 15 at the time and were awkward as teenagers. The only thing besides that was having other people flirt with him all the time, but he never made an attempt to flirt back.

Leo, however, was charming to George, and George made sure to at least act like he liked Leo that way after meeting. He actually met Leo through a dating app. It was pretty basic, but downloading dating app was really different to George. He didn't ever seek much attention you'd get from other people on dating apps, but maybe it was the lack of physical affection that led him to do it.

When he matched with a guy named Liam Ray, he felt less uncomfortable. The guy seemed pretty nice, and had been Georges type. He was tall, talented, sweet, and he even liked George a lot. George wasn't very focused on looks, but he had to admit Leo was really good looking. He had curly brown hair and hazel eyes, and had a really clean style. It was a nice plus.

Once they matched, they had talked for a while, and got to know each other enough to go on a date to a cute little diner that Leo mentioned he liked. Sounds cliche but it was Leo, and George liked Leo. 

He didn't mention Leo to his friends until they confirmed that they would still go on a second date and would talk more, he didn't want to mention someone and then later forget all about them. 

Nick liked Leo's description, and really wanted to meet him when George had told them about him. Nick didn't doubt anything he heard, unlike Clay. Clay had his suspicions about Leo, which sort of annoyed George. 

"I don't trust someone you just met on a dating app, George," Clay had said, "you know those never go well." Clay sounded a little pissed at him, but he didn't really let it bother him. He liked Leo too much to let Clay convince him. 

"You don't know him well enough yet, Dream. He's great. Trust me when I say the dating app thing may actually work for me." George assured, he didn't want Clay to worry about it that much.

"Don't worry about it, George. He's just jealous you that like Leo more than him," Nick was joking, but Dream huffed at that. Its the truth, but he's not going to admit it, especially to George. 

"Yeah whatever, let's just get back to the game," Clay said, obviously annoyed at them. George felt a little bad, he really does value what Clay thinks, but he still wanted Leo. 

Clay got over it after a while, after seeing that did George really like Leo. He knew there was no more chances for him, he just finally had to admit that. He hated to, but he didn't want to keep his own hopes up if George obviously will never like him back. 

Soon, George started to call Leo his boyfriend. It felt good. It felt right. Leo seemed to like it too, and liked teaching George the basics of a relationship. Leo was good at being a boyfriend too, in George's opinion.

He seemed that way, until he started to jab at George with words starting a few weeks after they'd been together. He was at George's place a lot, and it was like he practically lived there, so it was normal for them to see each other in the morning, lazily getting ready. George never felt insecure about what he looked like when he got up until Leo said something.

Leo laughed, getting George's attention from his cereal. "You look so bad like that. You kinda look like a tired rat." 

If it was anyone but Leo, who is usually super sweet, then he wouldn't feel the sting at his heart. He was used to hearing things like that from Sapnap, but from Leo it sounded like he really meant it to hurt. "Huh?"

"You're being sensitive. It's a joke, silly." Leo started to make himself some cereal too, pouring way more than George has ever seen. He was fairly bigger than most guys, though, and Leo eats a lot.

That didn't make George feel any better. "Oh," he mumbled, going back to the cereal.

It progressed, getting more and more hurtful and personal as they grew to know each other. George let it slide, thinking Leo was just showing him this part of himself just now. Maybe it was just a Leo thing to make fun of his loved ones.


	2. Middle School

It was Leo's friends, too, commenting on something they didn't like about George. He didn’t even know them that well, but he was forced to hang out with them by Leo. George couldn’t say no when Leo cracked a smile at him and said, “George please!” 

He hadn’t even meant to drop everything for Leo.

Leo’s friends were not like George had thought they’d be, he noted that when he got there. They were at a pool together, smoking cigarettes and drinking cans of beer. They all looked dirty and malnourished. George had felt bad for them, but didn’t let it bother him too much as they were being introduced.

There were three of them. Alan, Raphael, and Jake, were what Leo said their names were. They seemed pretty cool, but that’s just George’s first read on them. “Hey, It’s nice to finally meet you guys. I know Leo loves his friends,” George chirped.

He did not expect Alan to give him a dirty look. “Hey,” everyone but Alan said. Alan looked him up and down as if George was some nerd and he was the popular high school cheerleader. “Hey,” he finally mumbled like the rest of them.

Leo must have not noticed anything, and began talking, “pass me two beers!”

George tensed up, “Two?” George hadn’t had alcohol in a long time, not after he got drunk with his friend and did some embarrassing things that he didn’t like to think about.

“Yeah,” Leo smirked, “Two.” He held two fingers up in the air like George hadn’t heard him the second time. George shook his head.

“I don’t really want beer. Thank you though,” He said, but Leo has already been passed the drinks. He sighed knowing he probably wouldn’t win. 

“Come on, baby boy. It’s just one beer.” George almost cringed at the pet name Leo gave him. He didn’t use them much, but it was usually just “babe” or “baby”. 

George started thinking about how Dream would have not even tried to urge him to take the beer after he said no, unlike Leo, who handed him the beer after a few more protests. He interrupted his own thoughts with yet another one, thinking about why the hell he was having these thoughts about Dream being Leo. 

“Why’d you choose such a loser,” Alan said, mostly sounding serious. Everyone laughed including Leo. George mentally frowned, trying not to seem bothered by the “joke”. 

“It’s not my fault, man! You don’t choose who you love,” Leo chuckled, wrapping his arm around George. Its a joke, George reassured himself. 

George fake smiled. He really wished he was at home, playing Minecraft while he talked to Sapnap and Dream. He really missed them. He sort of felt guilty knowing he dropped them for Leo, but he knew they would understand. He knew Sapnap would, at least. He anticipated taking to them when he got home.

After a while of Leo and his friends drinking and smoking — and George slowly sipping on his drink — he was asked questions. 

Raphael started it with “Hey George what’s your work? Or do you go to college?”

Raphael has been the nicest and looked like he had actually showered in the past few days. George smiled at him and answered “Oh it sounds stupid but I’m a YouTuber. I make videos.”

It hurt knowing Leo never talked about him to them, but he wished he did because now he was facing all of them looking at him like he was stupid. He wished they already knew. “A YouTuber? Like you make videos? About what?”

George felt so embarrassed, but he didn’t want to be caught in a lie so he answered truthfully —well mostly. “Uh- its just me and my friends playing a video game.”

“What game? Spit it out, Jesus,” Alan butted in. Was Leo not paying attention to his friends?

“Minecraft,” George mumbled. They all laughed dryly at him, he felt like this was middle school all over again.

“Minecraft? Leo you have a weird one,” Jake patted Leo’s shoulder as Leo joined in with the laughter. George hated this. He hated seeing Leo laugh at him with his friends. He hoped and trusted that at least Leo meant no harm to him. 

George felt so relieved when Raphael spoke up, “Hey, Hey, Guys let’s just finally get in the pool.”

They all took off their shirts, Leo looking a lot healthier than the rest of them. Raphael looked healthy as well, but was not as muscular as Leo. He looked like a body builder compared to Jake and Alan, who looked like they hadn’t eaten in ages. George took off his shirt along with them.

He felt insecure as he felt eyes on him. “Well at least he’s kind of got a nice body. He needs to lose a bit, though.” He heard Alan whisper to Jake, and Jake huffed out a small laugh. George wanted to leave so badly in that moment.

George got in the pool slowly, and stayed at the stairs by himself as Leo and and his friends played around for the rest of their time. He got a couple of comments on being quiet, but he tried to ignore them the best he could. He didn’t want to say anything in hopes they would dial it down a bit. Maybe they treated everyone this way?

After what felt like forever, Leo finally told them that he and George were leaving, all of them saying goodbyes to Leo. Raphael being the only one to say bye to George. Guess the rest of them were going to ignore him now. 

George felt so relaxed when he finally got home, he was secretly even happier that Leo went to bed early. He hopped straight on a call with Sapnap, Bad, and Dream. 

“Hey guys. What’s up,” George said, really smiling wide for the first time that day. He had truly missed them. 

“Hey George!” Nick said excitedly, “We missed you.” Badboyhalo agreed in the back, while Clay hummed. It felt a little off.

“Hi,” Clay said. George logged on to the smp with them, they had been building while Wilbur, Tubbo, and Tommy did their own thing. They were probably streaming.

“I missed you guys. Sorry for dipping. I went to meet Leo’s friends.”

“Oh, did you have fun?” Darryl asked him, sounding cheerful for him.

“Yeah! I did.,” George lied. He remembered that Clay knew his lying voice, but he prayed that Clay did not notice. “He’s sleeping now.” 

He didn’t. “I’m glad you had fun with, Leo.” It sounded sad and forced, but George bought every second of it being genuine.

“Yes, I’m glad too,” Darryl said, sounding much more happy. George smiled, feeling so good to be able to talk to his friends that day. He wouldn’t know what to do without them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Thanks for the nice kudos and comments on the last chapter! I enjoy receiving your comments!


	3. Our First Argument

It was 12 in the morning when Clay finally woke up. The first thing he did was pet Patches, who lied at his stomach. He checked his phone, responding to texts and other notifications, seeing that George tweeted something while he was asleep, and it was obvious that people were making a fuss over it. 

The tweet was a selfie with Leo at his desk saying "Minecraft, but I've got a boyfriend." He assumed this meant they were gonna stream or make a video together and he couldn't help but feel a little jealous, but the "boyfriend" was what felt the worse. It was just yet another punch in the face that George wasn't and never was going to be his. 

He got a call from Nick then, after a few texts of screaming at him to wake up. He answered, facing the camera at the ceiling so Nick wouldn't be able to see his morning face. Nick immediately whistled at him and then said "Did you see George's tweet? The fans went feral over it."

"Yeah," Clay answered sadly, "Like your tweet said, seems like I'm not his Minecraft Boyfriend any more," Clay tried to joke, but it didn't hide the pain he felt after getting a reminder that his crush was taken. 

Nick huffed. "Sorry, that must hurt. But you must know there's more than just George. He's just a cute Brit and that's all," Nick said. Nick probably had been waiting to say that since they were both told that George was dating someone. Nick and Clay had not talked about it much due to Clay's dismissal of the topic. But what Nick said was true, Clay should move on by now. He needed to realize there were more people to be pinning over than someone who was already taken. 

Clay knew he was joking about George being just a cute British boy, but there was so much good about George. George felt like a safe place for Clay. Having George just existing immediately make Clay feel a little better. 

"Yeah," Clay said, sighing, "Is George making a video with him?"

"I think he may stream, but I don't know. But I think you should see the fans right now, they've -they already made fan art," Nick giggled as Clay heard keyboard typing on the other side of the phone. 

Clay lightly laughed with him. "Yeah, I'll have to check that out." 

Nick and Clay hung up after a few more minutes. Usually, Clay would go check every platform for any missing calls or texts from George, finding little or nothing from him. He knew there wasn't going to be anything, it was obvious George was always busy with Leo.

He checked them anyway. Nothing.

He really hoped he would be able to talk to George again, yet Leo has used up most of George's free time. If he wasn't doing something with Leo he was busy editing or away from his computer. It had to have been days since they've had a normal conversation besides random text messages.

Why couldn't George be his?  
...

George woke up next to Leo, like he naturally did. Leo was on the other side of the bed, not cuddling him like he used to. George hadn't always been a cuddler until he got into a relationship, but he quite liked it now. Leo had recently gotten out of cuddling him some. Is George that repulsive? 

He tried not to think about how Clay wouldn't hold back when keeping him warm. What was he thinking? Clay is not Leo. He had a feeling that this was not normal for him to be thinking like this, yet he always chose to ignore it. 

George sighed and got up to get ready, soon checking his phone seeing that his fans freaking out over his latest tweets, asking if he was going to ever stream or make a video with Leo.

He left them hanging, wanting to keep the video he was going to make a secret. He really hoped to give his fans a sweet little surprise, and was constantly talking about it. He actually planned on making a video where he just tried to speed run Minecraft with Leo, and since Leo had never played Minecraft that much, it would be good content to introduce his boyfriend with. George felt proud to show off his boyfriend. 

"Hey baby," He heard from Leo finally. Leo wrapped himself around George awkwardly. Weird, George thought, he thought Leo didn't want to cuddle. 

"Good Morning. Today's the day we are supposed to film that video," George said, rubbing his boyfriend's arm up and down.

"Oh, I don't want to do it today. I'm busy," Leo said casually, as if they hadn't planned this all along. 

"What do you mean? We planned to do it today, and I've told you almost every day that we were going to do it. How do you have plans now?" George asked. 

"It's not that important, George. It's just a video anyway," Leo huffed out a laugh with his reply, making George a little irritable that he wasn't taking him seriously.

"I'm serious, Leo. I really wanted to have a surprise for everyone, and you know this," George argued, sitting up so that it wouldn't be as awkward as it is when arguing with your boyfriend while simultaneously in his arms. 

"Really? They get excited about a minecraft video?" Leo said with a shit-eating grin. He sat up along with George, which had been a little intimidating due to Leo's height. He was practically towering over George. George always liked height differences— well until he felt too small and vulnerable. 

"Yes, because they can be exciting. What are you planning on doing instead anyway?" George asked, trying to stay as calm as possible. He knew it seemed pretty childish to Leo that he was angry over a video.

"I'm going out with friends, look, when I get home, I'll make the video with you, okay?" Leo answered, but it sounded so forced and sarcastic. George let it slide, he was probably just annoyed at George for being grumpy.

"Okay, thank you," George smiled lightly. Leo kissed him on the cheek and then got ready to go out with friends.

...

George was on call with Nick when Leo got home, both playing among us while waiting for Dream to join. He loved having some time with them that day, and they unsurprisingly called all day together, but throughout it he felt guilty that it had been such a long time.

"Hey Leo," George greeted, awkwardly kissing his boyfriend's cheek, "How was your day?"

"It was ok," Leo answered while sitting on George's bed, "I'm probably gonna go home tonight."

George abruptly muted his own mic, and then irritably turned to Leo. "You said that you were going to film the video with me tonight."

Leo furrowed his eyebrows, "I was obviously joking. I don't want to do the video any way. And not with you."

George was taken back by that comment. "What? What is that supposed to mean?"

"You've been a bitch all day," Leo started, "you also just played video games all day with your stupid friends. You don't need to play more anyway. You need to get off your ass and do things, because you're going to-" Leo interrupted himself, "I'm not gonna make a video with you."

George stayed silent for a moment. "They aren't stupid, and they want to spend time with me, so of course I try to when I can." George paused, processing what to say, "We planned for that video and it bothers me a little you don't want to do it now."

"Okay, just get over it," Leo said, "you need to stop worrying about video and start worrying about your attitude before someone has to fix it."

George didn't say anything. He wasn't the type to express the hurt he felt, happiness and anger being the easiest to express for him. Leo also make it feel easier to express these emotions in the beginning, but now it felt embarrassing.

"I see," Leo noted about his silence. "I'm going home now." Leo went straight out of George's room and then out the door. 

George sat there for a moment, taking in what just happened. He just had his first argument with Leo, and it wasn't very pretty after hearing some of the things Leo said— or even the things he obviously was holding back from saying.

George felt his eyes water, but he felt like crying wasn't right. He knew this fight was his fault, and that it was quite stupid to fret over Leo dropping their plans. He knew he was overreacting.

He went back to the computer and unmuted his microphone. "Hey sorry."

Nick giggled at him, "What were you and Leo doing, gogy?" He said while dragging out the 'y.'

George faked a laugh. "Nothing." He copied Nick with the drawn out 'i.'

Clay finally spoke up, scaring George a bit since he hadn't had known he joined. "Yeah right. You were totally doing something. Can you say hi to him from me?"

George gulped loudly, but before he said anything Nick added onto Clay's playfulness "Hey me too. Make sure to kiss him for me."

"He went home. He's been here for a while so I think he needed some alone time for one." Being with him was being annoying so of course Leo needed a break from him, George thought. 

"Oh ok, well kiss him for me when he gets back," Nick said. "Dream get your ass here and play among us with us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, the amount of happiness I get from your comment is amazing. I love you guys!! Thanks for the love!! <3


	4. Salads Aren’t My Favorite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. It’s almost 4 a.m. for me ha ha but I really wanted to finish this up! I edited it but I know there may be some mistakes so please comment on them if you see any!! Thank you!
> 
> REMEMBER TW IN TAGS!! THIS IS A WARNING FOR TRIGGERS FOR POTENTIAL EATING DISORDERS AND VERBAL ABUSE!!!

That next morning Leo came back to George's house, and he was obviously still annoyed, but he said that he would still like to hang out regardless of their fight. George agreed, of course, and they had decided to go out to eat with Leo's friends. 

George smiled at an idea he got. "Oh!" He started, happily, “Can we bring a friend of mine? His name's Wilbur. He's super funny and I think he'd like you."

"No." Leo said. "You were a brat yesterday. And your actions have consequences, so you can't bring him."

"What?" George said. "You'll like him though."

"You're being a baby. Now shut up and be grateful I'm taking your- you out to eat." Leo said in a harsh tone, and also interrupting himself once, obviously holding back himself from saying something—maybe even calling George something. 

"My what?" George asked, "continue please." He was curious at what Leo wanted to say, even if it could be hurtful. 

"I was gonna joke about something, but you wouldn't get it," Leo said, he smiled politely as if he hadn't just yelled at George,"come on, baby, let's go."

...

Clay texted George and Nick, asking if they wanted to stream. Nick answered while George hadn't even opened the message. Like usual.

In the beginning of the stream, fans spammed about George's boyfriend and kept asking if George was ever going to make a video or stream. Clay just had to continuously answer with "I don't know guys. I'm sorry."

A couple of donations bothered him though. They kept asking if he had been jealous of Leo. It made him feel that pit in his stomach, but it brushed it off with a simple joke, usually of him being sarcastically jealous. 

It died down a bit once he started ignoring the donations that talked about Leo and George, but there was uproar again once he heard that Leo tweeted out. 

"You guys keep asking what dates we have, so here you go!" The tweet read. Attached was a picture of George and Leo in the parking lot of what looks like a nice restaurant. He muted his mic after telling the chat that he had to go for a second, and then he sat there and sighed. He stared at the photo—well he stared at George in the photo to be more specific— he was smiling widely, eyes scrunched up. He had a black hoodie on, which made his eyes and hair pop. George was breathtaking to Dream in that photo. He then felt that feeling in his stomach again. He was longing to be the reason George was smiling like that. 

But then he remembered George was not his.

...

"Leo," George whined, giggling at a joke, that's when Leo raised his phone and snapped a random shot. "Hey! No!" George yelled while laughing even more. 

"Look! You're so cute," Leo said, while Alan walked up to look at the photo.

"You sure? George, you have a weird smile," Alan added, pushed George by his shoulder. It looked like a friendly push, but sure didn't feel like it. George grunted and slowly shied away. 

Raphael faked an obvious laugh. He pulled Alan away by the arm, "Come on, man. Let's go eat." 

They were seated at a booth together after a few minutes of waiting. In one side, it was Leo, George, and Raphael, and the other was Jake and Alan. 

Jake was obviously drunk, and said nothing but a few sort-of-slurred words. Everyone ignore it, and just did their own thing.

"What's good here?" George asked, "I've never been to this place."

"The salad's good, and you definitely need it," Alan retorted, smiling smugly. Alan couldn’t have made George’s day any worse than when he used this remark.

George started spluttering. He was choking on his words, he hadn't heard someone say that to his face before. He's received hate comments about his looks, but he was never body shamed to his face until now. "Oh, uhm—Yeah. I don’t like salads though, but I could try it I guess." He trailed off. He wanted to defend himself, but he knew that's what Alan wanted. But he was also worried about the result of the consequences if he would defend himself. 

"I agree, though. You just sit around and play video games all day and eat whatever it is you eat. You need something healthy for once even if you don’t like salads," Leo added, and that had made George feel even worse. George grabbed at his stomach, feeling nothing but a negative feeling in his chest. 

"Okay, you don't have to get that George," Raphael spoke with a softer voice than usual. Why has he been so nice to George? Does he want something, George questioned. 

"Yes you do," Leo spoke in a sharp, demanding voice. The change in his tone startled George a bit, because he used to be so gentle to George. George ponder of what is happening, and wonders why Leo has this new found anger with George and problems with his health. George let it go, since both had good explanations as to why Leo was acting that way. He is probably just caring for George’s health, right? 

Soon, the waiter came up and asked them what they wanted. They all ordered, and then George came last. His order didn’t come out as easy as it did for them, hence his stuttering and grip at his own thigh. He felt so nervous about something so little that Leo did, and he hated himself for it.

...

George and Leo were in the car driving home after the restaurant when George finally spoke up about something he wanted to do, “Hey Leo. Is it fine if you go home or something. I wanted to stream today, and I haven’t had a lot of time to any streams it since I’ve spent a lot with you.”

“Okay. I’ll go home, I guess,” Leo shrugged his shoulders in a pissed off manner. “But don’t eat dinner when I’m not there.”

“Don’t eat dinner? I might get hungry, what do you mean?” George replied. 

“Like I said, you don’t do much and it’s not like you don’t need to skip a few meals. And when I’m not there I can’t see what you eat.” Leo said bluntly.

“I- I mean, what’s with you lately? What’s with you w-worrying so much about my health?” George’s eyes wandering around, struggling to stay focused on his boyfriend. “I think I’m healthy.”

“You don’t understand, George. You need to look at yourself, you have problems and your friends and your fans were just too nice to tell you how you really look,” Leo grumbled out before practically yelling “Just listen to me one Goddamn time. No dinner tonight.”

George flinched, tears threatening to ruin this situation even more. “Okay.” He muttered. He didn’t want to disobey, and was scared Leo’s mood would get even worse if he tried to argue. 

...

George started his stream at 3:00 p.m. and was hoping to have it go extra long. He decided to first play minecraft and without Dream and Sapnap and then invite them to a call to play among us. 

He mostly didn’t want them there so that he could read donations, and just as he expected the donations rolled in, mostly about how they were happy he was out now and that he had a boyfriend. Some asked him to say things and some asked how his day was. It was nice to be able to interact with fans again.

After a while, Clay and Nick joined anyway, saying they just wanted to talk and catch up. It was all fun and games until someone donated asking. “Hi gogy! Totally weirdchamp question but can you and dream and sapnap tell us what you had/ are having for dinner.”

“Oooh I had lasagna,” Clay said while George silently freaked out about what to say, but he didn’t let it get to him since he could easily lie. 

“I had pizza,” Nick said, “it was kind of gross though. It had mushrooms and I didn’t even order those.”

“Why didn’t you just pick them off, idiot,” Clay laughed. “What did you have George? Fish n’ chips?” Clay mocked with a British accent quite terribly. 

“Uhh,” George trailed off, mentally kicking himself for sounding suspicious, “I-I had a sandwich.”

“And What kind?” George wanted to strangle his friends for not dropping the food subject. George just now started to think about how hungry he was.

“Peanut butter and jelly,” George said, “is that what you wanted?” 

“Boring!” Nick sung. George rolled his eyes. 

They changed the subject after getting another donation reading “How do you feel about Dream being jealous of you and Leo?” George giggled cutely. “I don’t know are you Dream.”

Dream was silent for a moment before he laughed. “Yeah so jealous.”

George felt a unwelcome feeling in his chest at the sarcasm. What the hell? George giggled at Dream again. 

“Aw!” Dream said. “George your laugh is so cute.” This has to be a joke. George’s heart was fluttering more than it ever did for Leo. 

Unexpectedly, George’s phone dinged. It was Leo.

Leo: I don’t like Dream. 

George: what? why?

Leo: He’s obviously flirting with you. You’re mine not his. 

George: he’s just joking trust me. i love you.

Leo: I’m just keeping my eye out on him. And you better. Love you too. 

“George?” George heard Nick say. George set his phone down.

George flinched. “Oh sorry, Leo texted me.”

The stream continued, and not much happened except for a but more of flirting, but not enough to earn more texts from Leo. 

George at least had the stream to distract him from his day. And his hunger. That salad had definitely not filled him up, and he didn’t even like it. He stomach begged for food, and he finally got up to get some when hearing it growling. He did not want to worry the fans or his friends, since he had already been suspicious about eating to begin with.

“Sorry guy I’m going to go get food. I’m hungry,” George said, forgetting he was on stream and that Leo could probably see. He hoped Leo wouldn’t mind it if he was this hungry. 

He got up and got a bag of popcorn, heating it up quickly before coming back.

“Dang George, your a hungry man. Eating again?” Nick joked, not aware of how that slightly hurt George’s feelings.

“I am a hungry man,” George fake grinned. He ate the popcorn slowly, feeling a little guilty and setting half of it back down.

When the stream ended, George stayed away from his phone, scared of seeing what Leo might say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I hope this is getting interesting, because it’s becoming interesting to write.


	5. It Was Just Some Popcorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I need some help with writing abuse. I want to know if this is good enough, and how to write it realistically as possible. Please give tips and constructive feedback. Thank you <3

George was woken from a nap by a call from Leo, and this wasn't the only call. Leo had called him 10 times and he had more than 20 unread messages from him. His stomach twisted up into nervousness. 

He answered it, not wanting to dig himself a hole any deeper than it already is. "Hello?" he answered. His voice was shaky and so was his whole body. 

"Repeat to me, George, what I told you to do," Leo demanded, voice sharp and dangerous, but also a bit quiet and soft. It was threatening. It kind of scared George, but he felt as if he got himself into this. He should have just listened. But Just by his voice George knew this was the angriest he's ever heard Leo. And over what? Popcorn?

"Y-you told me not to eat dinner," George said, picking at his shirt nervously. He quickly tried to explain himself. "It was just a snack. I only ate a couple of pieces."

"You know I meant nothing. I ask you one thing and you can't even do it," Leo pauses, seemingly thinking of what to do next. "I'm coming over." He hangs up.

George didn't know what Leo was going to do, and hadn't expected Leo to get that mad. Leo had yelled at him before—like the time he did tell George not to eat— and scared him, but is that all Leo was going to do? Yell at him? Call him names again? 

George waited until Leo got there, who, when he did get there, angrily walked up to George and grabbed him arm harshly. George gasped. Leo started talking in his face. His voice was harsh, but he wasn’t loud. It mad George more uncomfortable than if he had screamed at him. "I'm so mad at you. You're so stupid that you couldn't even listen to me and ate anyway. You know what? I'm not letting you eat anything today or tomorrow. You really need it."

"Let go of me, that hurts," George said, trying to get away from his grip. Leo grips even harder.

"No you deserve it, now go back to sleep. I don't want to see you," Leo said, yanking his hand away from George and going to George's living room. George lied back down, tears from fear wetting his face. He sniffled as he fell asleep, thinking of how different this situation would be if Clay were in it.

...

George walked into the living room after waking up from his nap, seeing Leo on his couch. "Hey," Leo said in slurred words. 

"Hi," George said. "Are you drunk?" Leo didn't answer him, so he only assumed that he was. He tried going into the kitchen for a glass of water, but he was stopped by Leo. 

"I just need some water, please," George said as he was trying to get Leo out of his way. Leo hadn't moved yet.

"I don't trust you. Let me get you it." Leo said, he then got George water, and being in the kitchen reminded George of how hungry he felt. It wouldn't kill to speak up.

"Please, can I have something small? I don't care what it is I'm just hungry," George said before Leo was about to hand him the glass. Leo froze. 

"No. If you ask again I can add another half of a day," Leo threatened, he then handed George the glass. "You don't even deserve this, but here, since I wanna be nice."

"Thank you," George said, and he sat down with the glass. He starts to fiddle with his thumbs out of boredom, listening to the TV that was on in the living room. The thought of not eating another day started to overwhelm him. He began to feel the need to go outside. He moves to get up, meanwhile knocking the glass over. There is water going everywhere as the glass falls to the floor and it shatters. George jumps, and then goes to get paper towels to start cleaning up the water, tip toeing over the shattered glass.

Before he could make it, a strong force pushed him up against a wall. He grunted, seeing Leo standing over him with his fist grabbing his shirt collar. "You're so fucking dumb. You can't go a day without ruining something can you?"

"I-I" George said, not knowing what to say. This has never happened to him before, he's never been in this type of situation before. 

Leo grips his arm like earlier, but this time his nails are digging into his skin. "What?" He almost shouted. He’s definitely drunk. 

"It just- it was just an accident," George spluttered in explanation. 

"An accident? Yeah right," Leo laughed,"well clean up your little 'accident'" He said, throwing George to the ground on top of the glass. George yelped. The glass was poking through his black jeans into his legs, ass, and hands. He pushed himself up slowly while he sniffled. 

He walks to the bathroom, slowly, because he can feel the glass poking him continuously. He's only drunk, George tells himself. He didn't mean to throw me in the glass, did he? 

George tried to tell himself that Leo hasn't changed, or maybe that he's in a bad mood. There surely are reasons that he's acting this way lately, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I haven’t found the right time to write lately. Also it’s short because I want feedback on it. I’m going to try to get the next chapter out soon.


	6. George Ruins Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Thanks for feedback on stuff!! Definitely used some of it.

In the morning, Leo is wrapped around George. It's what it was like when the relationship started, but it's new now. Almost six months in, they are. "Hey, baby," Leo said. George could feel his curly hair against his neck as he buried is face into it. George was trying not to think about yesterday, but to his demise Leo decided to say something.

"Baby I am so sorry for yesterday. When I was drunk, I had no control over my anger." Leo was pretty convincing for the most part, but George felt like he had the right to at least ask questions, he thought. 

-Even if he was nervous. "But when you weren't drunk you were still a little harsh. Especially about food."

Leo huffed. "That's just me caring about your health, George."

"But isn't it unhealthy to not eat?" Leo looked at him like he said the dumbest shit he'd ever heard.

"Trust me. I'm trying to help. Now will you let me?" Leo said. But does George need help? George never felt like he was super unhealthy or even over weight. For that matter, he actually thought he was skinny. George thought back to the facts Leo brought up before, about him only sitting and eating. Maybe he is unhealthy. 

"I do trust you. But I thought I was healthy enough." George replied, looking down at his own stomach.

"No, like I said, you don't do much and just eat whatever. Its not healthy, I can get you to work out too if you want. I mean it is my job. I could be your little work out buddy." Leo said, smirking. George looked back down, and he valued Leo's opinion, so he thought maybe he should listen. He could be right, after all.

"Yeah maybe, but i may not have time if I want to keep making content for my fans." George put his shirt back down, feeling his stomach like the time at the restaurant. The same negative feeling came back. 

"It doesn't have to be all the time. You probably can have time for both," Leo answered after nodding. "How about we hang out with my friends today?"

"But i need to stre-" George was interrupted.

"I want to hang out with my friends, please," Leo said. George doesn't want to see them, and it's not like he hadn't let Leo taken him there a lot. 

-But he wants to make Leo pleased so he answered with a "yes."  
...

Nick missed George, that's for sure. He hated that he couldn't see him much, and kind of damned Leo for taking up so much of his time. He loved that George found someone, but what happened to them too? And he knew how Clay felt about it, too. 

He thought maybe he should call George to see what he was up to. George answered shortly, with a typical monotone "hello?"

"Hey George! Whatcha doing?" Nick asked cheerfully, and he had to admit it was nice being on call with George again, even if they just had gotten on it.

"Uh, not much just at the pool with Leo and his friends," George said. "You?"

"Just sitting here. We haven't talked much lately so I just wanted to-"

"Oh Uhm." George interrupts him. "Sorry I have to go Leo wants me."

Nick felt a little annoyed at that, of course he wanted to hang up for Leo. It's always been Leo. Why cant he just make time for his own friends? "Of course." He exhaled. 

George didn't hang up he just asked, "What?"

"Nothing," Nick said, and then hung up. He immediately heard his phone dinging afterwords, getting messages from George on twitter. 

...

_George: hey  
George: did I do something?  
George: I'm sorry I feel so bad that I can't make time for you guys_

__

_Sapnap: yeah. I'm kind of upset about it, and Dream is too  
Sapnap: we want to spend time with you. We are happy for you and leo but what happened to us?_

__

"Let me see your phone." George heard a voice demand behind him. It was Leo, and he was holding out his hand for George's phone.

"What wh-why?" George stuttered. He was in the middle of typing a long message to Nick of why he was sorry, and he didn't want to divert his attention to anyone else. 

"Let me talk to him," Leo said, looking back down at the messages, "please. He's being rude. I think you need help with this conversation."

George shook his head. "This is personal, Leo. I want to answer honestly. He deserves an apology." 

"Let me see it please." Leo said again, obviously not taking any shit from George. George handed it over, and watched Leo type while he waited there anxiously. Leo finally gave his phone back and stood there waiting for George to read them. George nervously scrolled up to look at all the messages from where Leo started talking.

_George: I just want to spend time with Leo  
George: dont you want that for me?_

__

_Sapnap: lol I know this isn't you George, but the fact you got someone to talk for you is stupid_

_George: it is me  
George: if someone wants fight for me thats ok, asshole_

_Sapnap: this is so annoying  
Sapnap: George I love you but you're being stupid letting someone take up your time and then have someone defend you in your own "fight". You're better than this. I know you.  
Sapnap: whoever you are, tell George I'll talk to him when he feels like fighting his own "fights"_

_George: wait sapnap that wasn't me.  
George: I'm sorry_

__

After sending a message after seeing all of that, George put his phone down not so gently. 

"Leo what the fuck," George said. "He's my friend. He wants so spend time with me! He deserves a real apology from me and only me!"

"He's being stupid. You deserve better than someone who won't let you spend time with the people that make you happy." Leo paused for a moment, "and the things he said obviously bothered you. I wanted to defend you and you need that."

That just made George angrier. "I don't! It wasn't even a fight to begin with." George was crying. He was so scared of losing his friends, especially someone as good as Nick. But Nick wouldn't leave him for this, he hopes, but just the immense guilt told him otherwise.

"But you do. You do need it. I know you, George. You get so nervous and say the wrong things or let people walk all over you. I see it," Leo said, rubbing his arm. It was true, about what he felt. But George was still guilty for not hanging out with his own friends. He considered Leo's side, but he was not convinced anything was wrong with Nick or his reaction.

He didn't say much but, "I don't want that to happen again Leo. He is my friend." 

Leo grabbed his shoulder and dug harshly into his arm. "It will if I want it to happen." Then, Leo went back to rubbing George's arm. He smiled and said "let's go back to hanging out with them, okay?" 

George gritted his teeth at the pain. "Okay."

...

Little did George know, he would be coming back to screenshots of his and Nick's texts. It was out of context and didn't show George's apology. It was posted by Nick, meaning he probably was hacked. 

Every platform surely was blown up with hate from fans, stuff about cancelling, and then people debating wether the whole situation is false or not. He was in the car with Leo, trying not to burst into tears. 

Once they got home, he went straight to the bathroom, falling on his knees as he saw the things people said. Luckily, Nick had tweeted that these were out of context and mostly fake after saying he was hacked. Some People still were angry at George, whether they knew it was fake or didn't. 

The mix of hunger of not eating much for these past two days, cuts from glass, emotional hurt from the Nick situation, all made George want to scream.

Leo came in there after him shortly, holding George in his arms while he cried. He didn't even know what happened, but he told George it was okay.

George ruins everything.

...

Clay was shocked at the hate George was getting, and was unhappy to find out why. It looked like George had said some bad stuff to Nick, which Clay hadn't even begun to believe was real. 

Clay called Nick after seeing everything on twitter. "Dude what happened."

"I got hacked and someone leaked messages. It's out of context and most of the things George said on those pictures were fake," Nick explained, "it's fucking awful." 

"Yeah I didn't believe George would ever say things like that," Clay just then realized what Nick had said about it being out of context. "Wait. Out of context? You mean mean the general conversation is real?" 

"Yes, It's mostly us talking about how he's ditched us lately. He said sorry but then let someone else talk for him. I'm really disappointed but I'm letting him talk when only he feels like talking. It really wasn't that bad of a fight."

"Oh," Clay only managed to say. He didn't really know what to think. Would George let someone argue for him? He knew how nervous he got, but George is better. He hopes so, but with the amount of time he spends with Leo could have changed him. 

"Well we shouldn't stream like we planned, there will be too many people trying to get us to talk about what happened," Nick stated, "I'm just going to wait for George to say something, but we should play minecraft to get our heads clear."

"Yeah for sure," Clay said.

...

George is ruining everything...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I have so many endings that could possibly happen. So how do you feel that I let you guys choose one (not gonna spoil it away but from happy endings or sad endings) for the official ending, then just post alternate endings??? 
> 
> How’s the layout for texting? Anything you guys recommend me to change because I write these in wattpad and then copy and paste it here, so it changes the lay out.


	7. The Bar and Getting to Know Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys sorry for the wait. I was on vacation and my mom made me get off the phone for no reason while I was editing this last night. Anyway, I hope it wasn’t for too long!!

Leo hugged George to his chest while he was crying and failing to explain as to why he was on the bathroom floor. Slowly but surely, George had stopped crying, finally getting to explain what happened. "I- Someone ha-hacked into sapnap's twitter and they fucking faked screenshots of our last conversation." George spluttered, wiping his own tears with the palm of his hand.

Leo scoffed. "Is that what you're on the fucking floor about?" George furrowed his eyebrows at that.

"I mean yes-yeah the fans sent a lot of hate to me," George said, and Leo was shaking his head at him like he was talking to an idiot.

"You get hate all the time, plus, you did the right thing letting me help you." Leo reassured, "you're just being a baby about it, come on."

George shook his head. "No I want to stay here for a little bit. I'll come in there later."

After Leo left George called Nick, wanting so badly to apologize, but when Nick answered, he just couldn't find the ability to speak. Before Nick could ask what was wrong, George hung up. Nick had called him a couple of times after that, but George never even thought of answering. He was to scared to. He hated that he was being such a coward, but he couldn’t bring himself to that conversation yet. Not after what happened last time.

George stayed in the floor for a bit, unable to find the motivation to try to get up, and Leo came back in after what seemed like an hour to George. "Come on." Leo had said, and then turned back around to walk out the door. 

...

George was riding to the bar with Leo the next day. Leo had allowed George to eat cereal for breakfast, and George had gratefully took it. He had been dying to eat something for the past two days. Only, Leo told him he could have nothing more than just a bowl, which didn't scare George as much as it did when he was finished and he still found his stomach was begging for food.

When they got to the bar, Leo held out his hand to George before he got out, "Don't embarrass me in front of my friends."

“Wait what? Am I embarrassing?” George asked, nervously. He didn’t think he was that embarrassing. He knew he was weird and shy, but he didn’t ever think he would make anyone feel embarrassed to be with him. 

“Yes, a little. I mean, your just- awkward,” Leo said. He looked George up and down for a second and then spoke again. “Remember nothing else.” He said sternly. 

George nodded after looking down at his own body to see what Leo saw. He immediately felt insecure about himself. “Can I, uh, use your jacket, babe?”

“Sure thing. I have an extra one,” said Leo as he reached back and grabbed a huge sweater. George undoubtedly took it. It was obviously way to big since it practically swallowed him, but he favored how it felt—and it covered a good portion of him. He liked it that way.

George and Leo walked into the bar together, seeing Leo’s friend together at the front. George sat between Leo and Raphael, and once they started settling down Leo and his other friends were amused with their own conversation. Raphael decided it would be nice to speak to George. George wanted to know him better anyway.

“So, George how have you been?” Raphael had asked, sipping on his drink. He had ordered nachos with him, and seeing that made George’s stomach feel more empty. He tried not to make himself look like he wanted them, but his acting is pretty bad when his stomach decided to grumble. 

“Uh I’ve been fine, you,” George replied, looking at his hands. Raphael seemed to notice his passiveness and obvious bad acting. 

Raphael slightly chucked. “Want some? You seem to.”

George knew he shouldn’t, his mind was screaming no, but once chip wouldn’t hurt, right? He nodded slowly, and Raphael passed the plate over to him. George looked around to see if anyone he was looking, especially Leo, and then once he saw that everyone was distracted, he dived in. It tasted better than usual, hence this was the first actually decent thing he had in a while. 

He only had one, but then scooted the rest of them back to Raphael. “Th-thank you.”

“It’s no problem. If you want more just tell me, man.” He said, “ anway, how did you even meet Leo anyway? He doesn’t really seem be your type.”

George shrugged. “I don’t have any specific type, but uh- We met on a dating app. It was weird at first because I haven’t had many relationships—not since I was young at least—,but once we started talking I just liked him a lot.” 

“Yeah. I don’t date that many people. I don’t really seem to be the best with relationships, but that’s because all my exes were kind of bad,” Raphael said, “but honestly, I do want someone.”

“You should totally try to find a girl. You seem like a nice guy, it should be pretty easy.” George’s stomach still was wanting more food, and he was fighting himself mentally to ask Raphael to give him more of his food. He knew he truly didn’t need it anyway. 

“Oh, uh. I don’t like women,” Raphael stated awkwardly. “But I can’t find guys I want around here.”

“Oh I’m sorry I-I shouldn’t have assumed,” George tried to say, but Raphael quickly told him it was okay. 

“George you don’t really tell us much, but I think you’re interesting. Can you tell me about YouTube? I actually think it’s pretty cool,” Raphael said, biting his lip while smiling. His eyes showed true interest, but had a tinge of something George couldn’t quite catch. It had been there a couple of other times Raphael would look at George, and not only today. 

“Really?” He asked. He was unsure if Raphael was being serious or not. Everyone else had laughed about his life, why wouldn’t Raphael?

“Yep!” Raphael assured. Maybe he isn’t as bad as the others, George thought.

“Well, like I said I play Minecraft with my friends. I mostly do codes to make the videos more interesting. Some times we hunt each other. It’s actually a lot of fun and a lot of people like it,” George explained to him, and Raphael didn’t seem to dislike what he was saying, unlike most people when George would talk about his life. 

“Do you think I could check you out on YouTube?” Raphael asked, “I wanna see what you do. My job is so stupid, I’m doing college but I also just work at this art shop.”

“It can’t be that boring, art is cool to me. I have fans that can draw really well so I enjoy it.” George barely even noticed Raphael when he had scooted closer, but it didn’t seem so strange when he reached behind George to grab something.

“Well to be honest, all it is is just old ladies buying all of the weird stuff. But hey at least I’m not a stupid trainer like Leo,” Raphael laughed, “Speaking of that, you’re way out of his league, he’s just a boring idiot and he’s dating a fucking youtuber.” Raphael was joking, and probably just trying to make fun of his friend, but it just sounded strange for him say. George especially didn’t like when people though he was better than everyone else just because he had a bit of clout.

Luckily George’s silence was cut off my Leo’s hand grabbing his shoulder gently, but it scared George a bit and Leo laughed when he jumped. “Hey babe we wanted to go outside to smoke. I want you to come with us.”

George nodded and followed as well as Raphael close behind him. When they got outside they sat down on the concrete together, just casually talking. Unfortunately, this time Raphael was on the other side of Leo while he had to sit by Alan. Naturally, George stayed quiet and didn’t add to the conversation. He didn’t have anything to add, nor did he want to add anything to it. He just played with the paws of his sweater while they had fun together. 

He was caught of guard once he felt a burn at his neck. His hand went straight to the burn, and he looked up seeing Alan holding a cigarette in his hand. Everyone thought that was the funniest shit ever, while Raphael didn’t do anything but sit in silence. “What the?” George said after grunting. “Why?”

“It’s just a joke you little sissy,” Alan said, and then Jake leaned over and put out his own cigarette on George. George yelped, and tried his best to lean away. “Raph come see this shit. You should try it, his stupid face is hilarious.” However, Raphael didn’t move, and just stared dead on, seemingly not wanting to watch.

George felt himself start to feel small. He just wished he wasn’t there to begin with, even if Raphael had helped him feel better while they were talking. 

Leo thought it was funny to join in, and he took the farther measure when he lifted George’s clothes up and rubbed the cigarette into his side. It burned like a bitch, too. George basically shoved him away, earning an angry glare from his boyfriend. It was to some extent scaring George. He knew he probably was going to get scolded for that. 

After they finally left him alone, George took out his phone. He was thinking of texting Nick to apologize, again. He put it away, scared it would make it a lot worse, especially if Leo was there to “help.” He resorted to going to the bathroom to call Nick. 

After telling Leo where he was going, he went straight to the bathroom and did as he wanted. Nick answered the phone, luckily. 

“Hi,” George mostly whispered. “How are you.”

“Hey George good to see you talk.” Nick said. It had been in a joking manner, but George couldn’t tell and it made him feel even worse about not talking. George started to tear up. “Where even are you?”

“I’m sorry Sapnap. I’m so sorry about what happened. I’m sorry for not talking. I’ve been busy with Leo and was so inconsiderate of time with you guys. Please tell Dream I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get someone to take this into their hands for me I just- I’m so sorry it happen and that fans got to it,” George rambled. He hadn’t even expected to say that much, but he had been wanting to get it out since forever. 

Nick stayed shocked for moment. “Are you okay?”

George sniffled. “Yes. Yes, I’m okay.”

“You sure? And George its okay. I forgive you. I always will. I’m just a little disappointed about some of this.”

“I’m okay. I’m sorry that it happened an-,” George said, and he wanted to say more, but then Leo had to barge in last minute only to look at him like he was crazy. 

“George what are you doing,” Leo asked him in a way that was softer than George was expecting. He looked pissed, and usually he would be yelling at this point. 

George quickly hung up, not wanting Leo to say anything. “I got a call.”

Leo snatched his phone. “You fucking liar. It said you called someone.” 

George must’ve forgot he drank some, because he didn’t notice until now that Leo was slurring and had changed to being overly aggressive that quickly. “Well I was talking to sapnap.”

“About what? The stupid argument. You-you know you don’t need to apologize. He doesn’t deserve it. He probably doesn’t care enough about you like I do. Not-not if he complains that I ap-apparently take up too much of your time.” Leo yelled and even stuttered some while he was tussling George up. George looked everywhere but his eyes, because he knew that if he looked he would be even more afraid—Leo was standing too close to him for that.

“I’m sorry,” George whimpered out. 

“You-you’re pathetic,” Leo slurred. “You better be sorry, now come on let’s fucking go home I’m tired of being here when all you do is make me look stupid.”


	8. Swimming Pools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys sorry for all the delay. i haven’t been the best lately but ill try to get to writing because i do genuinely enjoy it. Also this chapter felt dry to me due to writers block, but please do not feel like you’re rushing me!! love you!!
> 
> anyways, thank you for everything!! I enjoyed all the comments about the ending and the advice that I got. i think i’m letting the ending fall into place according to how i write these other chapters. i am not ending it soon, just to clarify. i just like to plan ahead so it won’t be a sloppy ending.

There was Clay, up late at night again. It always was for the same reason. That reason being George. God, he was pitiful. Thinking about his best friend this way. Especially when that best friend was already dating someone else. 

He wished to be the one who took up most of George's time. Maybe not as much as Leo, because he well aware that George needs time for other people. Leo didn't seem to think that, and that is what made Clay think even longer and harder. He can't understand why George didn't make any amends to speak to them. It really hurt and this wasn't normal. Even for George and Clay knew that.

Clay thought about texting him, but why would he bother? He barely even answered texts. Even if he did, it was always super late. Clay thought that was worth it, though.

_Dream: Hey.  
Dream: why haven't you been talking at all lately? i know we keep asking but don't expect us to drop the question  
Dream: i really miss you_

Clay didn't even try to start off simple. He knew just a 'hey' wouldn't grab any of George’s attention. He didn't mind starting off a little rough. He wasn't scared to confront people, yet he couldn't deny a least some of the anxiety that would settle in the pit of his stomach when he had typed that message.

To be honest, he was a little scared something might happen like it did with Nick's confrontation. Clay did it on regular iMessage, hoping there would be no way something bad would happen. But he was also worried that George would freak out like last time and let someone talk for him. He didn’t want to talk to them. He wanted to talk to George and only George. 

...

George never thought about hanging out with Raphael alone. In fact, he didn't think Raphael would ever want to, but his mind was changed once Raphael had called his phone. George almost didn't even pick up since it was from a random number, nor did he even know how he even got his number to begin with.

Raphael had asked him to go to their regular hangout at the pool, and he agreed. He told Leo what he was doing, who was a little displeased, yet he let George go. It was almost terrifying to talk to him after last night. Leo had slapped George for talking to Nick, and definitely got a few hurtful words in there. But George knew he didn't mean to, even if he was still scared and in pain. Leo was drunk and couldn’t control his anger. He didn't let the stings from the burn marks and the bruises change what he felt about Leo. He still loved him. 

Leo drove him there, telling him what to do and what not to do. Like the usual, just making sure he would keep up his eating habits and telling him not to be too much of a bother to Raphael. He also brought up that he should not talk to Nick. 

Raphael was sitting on one of the benches, smoking a cigarette, which was immediately put out after he saw George. He had a big smile when George walked up. "Hi, George."

"Hey," George said, nervously. George watched as Leo drove away. He felt this odd sense of relief he was gone for a bit. 

"How are you?” Raphael asked. George took his eyes off Leo's car to look back at him. Raphael’s eyes darted up to look at him, like they had been looking somewhere they shouldn't have been. George tried to ignore it.

"I'm okay. how are you?" George finally sit beside Raphael on the bench. He wasn’t gonna let what he saw bother him much. Its not that he saw much anyway. 

"Me too. I watched some of your YouTube videos and I really liked them." Raphael said fondly. It was weird to George, seeing one of Leo's friend actually like something to do him. Also, Leo wouldn't even watch George's videos if George had even asked. It wasn't only weird that Raphael had this newfound interest in him, but he also wondered why Raphael had asked him here to begin with.

"Oh that's so sweet. I'm glad you liked them but,” George paused for a moment and asked the question he'd been thinking of for a while. "Why did you ask me to come here?" 

Raphael exhaled in something like a laugh. "I just wanted to get to know you better, man. You seem pretty cool and why wouldn't I want to get to know my friends boyfriend better?"

"Yeah true," George said. He was still kind of nervous, so he was playing with the ends of Leo's sweater he borrowed. He tried to think of something to start the conversation back up with. "What did you like most about my videos." 

"I watched some of the ones you made with your friends. They were cool," Raphael said while grinning, "I think that my favorite has to be Sapnap. Besides you of course."

George was taken back by this a bit, but he brushed it off quickly. "Yeah sapnaps a lot, but I love him."

“I probably will watch more since your videos are super funny,” Raphael said. George just noticed that Raphael had moved a little closer to him then where he began. His worries were interrupted by something he didn't think Raphael would ever say. "Oh and Leo would hate to hear that." Raphael joked.

"W-what?" George stuttered. He knew what he was talking about. He was sure Raphael didn't mean it that way, but the words played differently in his head. It was most likely because what Leo had done to him for even talking to Nick. 

"He would be so jealous about what you said about Sapnap!" Raphael repeated, and then George could swear he said something under his breath after that. "Anyway let's swim."

"Y-You didn’t tell me we were gonna swim. I didn't bring anything to swim in." George whined, but Raphael shook his head. 

"We can just swim in our underwear. Basically the same thing," Raphael shrugged his shoulders. He then proceeded to take off everything except for his underwear. George looked away awkwardly. "Come on you pussy take them off." Raphael laughed. 

George obeyed and took off all of his clothes, leaving him in his dark blue boxers. He quickly felt insecure and Raphael must have noticed that. "It's okay George. I'm not like Alan or Jake. I won't bother you about it."

George lips pricked up to that. He was starting to feel more comfortable around Raphael. Maybe he wasn't as bad as the rest. Even if he was still a little shaken up about what he said to him earlier. 

Once they got in the water together, they didn't do much but sit there and continue their conversation about nonsense, mostly discussing George’s YouTube. George kind of liked the feeling he got with Raphael, it felt safe. It was a little out of place for him to feel that way, but it was a good feeling. 

"You're a fun person to hang around. You know that, George?" Raphael randomly had said, softly not to mention. George felt a little overwhelmed by all of these new feelings Raphael was showing for him, but he knew he was just being a nice person. The compliments weren't very strange in comparison to what George would normally get from fans or strangers. 

"Thank you," George replied, smiling. He was sitting on the stairs, just talking with Raphael when Raphael sat beside him. They stayed there for a while chatting and sometimes Raphael would brush his hands across George's body, which was a little weird. However, George just thought he may just be a touchy person. 

"Speaking of that, I think I'll watch more of your videos when I get home. Also Don't you stream too?" Raphael had asked him. 

"Yeah you probably can find some of my streams on youtube but you can also go to twitch and watch the ones I keep up." George got out of the pool, meanwhile Raphael had stopped talking and moving. He just went over to his towel and dried off. "Sorry I just got out without telling you. I was just feeling bored of it." 

Raphael nodded and got out as well. George told him that Leo probably wanted him home and Raphael let him call him call him to come pick him up. After saying their goodbyes when Leo was there, George could notice Leo was in a good mood, which made George feel better. 

...

Now, if George was any less guilty, he would have ignored the messages he missed from Clay. It was just more destruction waiting to come, but it wasn't fair for Clay not to get anything from him. Plus, Leo was in a good mood anyway. 

_George: Hey. I'm sorry. I've just been busy but I miss you too. If you want, We should hang out tonight and stream? Leo may want to play too_

__

_Dream: it's okay... just try not to do it again._  
Dream: yeah we totally can stream  
Dream: how about we play minecraft with Leo?

__

Dream responded more quickly than he thought he would. It was almost like he had been sitting by his phone and waiting for a reply all day. George told him that Minecraft sounded good to him, and then he went to go ask Leo, who had been eating by himself. It reminded George of how hungry he was. He hadn’t eaten anything for a while. He was hoping after the stream Leo would have let him eat something, but his mind also told him that if he didn’t eat it would be for the better.

"Hey, babe what's up?" 

"Do you want-wanna play Minecraft with me and my friend, Dream?" George asked anxiously. He was scared of the answer, that's for sure. All the other times he had asked Leo got mad and declined him. And Leo didn’t even like Dream. 

Unexpectedly Leo answered with, "Yeah sure. I can finally meet them for good," And he smiled. George left him to finish eating and set up his stream, Leo waking in soon after. Once he started the steam, the chat was exploding with excited fans. George laughed. He was happy to see them again.

"Hey guys this is Leo. Dream is going to join and we'll all play Minecraft together." George said, "Say hi Leo!"

"Hey guys!" Leo greeted and waved. They waited until Dream joined and he recommended that they all could do a speed run before they started.

"Hey Dream I'm Leo it's nice to meet you," Leo said, getting a similar reply from Dream. It was awkward at first since they didn't know each other that well, but they started to warm up to each other once they kept playing. 

"Leo what's your favorite thing about George?" A donation asked. Leo earnestly smiled at it. 

"His smile," Leo said sweetly, looking over to George while he was laughing. George's heart fluttered as he kissed Leo on the cheek. The chat blew up with a bunch of "Aww's" and anything regarding how cute they were being. Only if they knew that this wasn’t normal for Leo to do. 

Clay was quiet until he finally got out an "Aw." As well. 

There was an unsurprising amount of donations and chats asking Leo things or talking about him and George. George had noticed that Clay would never say anything or just laugh along. 

However, Some donations were about Clay and George, too. And George could tell Leo was angry about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://my.w.tt/6soUXqUKQab 
> 
> These are some mood boards for my original characters, but also George. These were done by my very helpful friend @Galaxystar04 follow her on insta with the same @. If you want to see my insta go to @spooky.dreamm!
> 
> If the link doesn’t work go to my wattpad:  
> and click on this story I uploaded on there: @Imalwaysdown_


	9. Comfort Crowd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here’s an extra long chapter that I’m proud off because I starved you of content. Anyway, thanks for comments and kudos. Feel free to leave more because I love seeing them and love hearing all of your opinions on the story.

There was no way Leo could hide his jealousy from George. He didn't even try. Once the stream ended, Leo harshly grabbed George's hair and forced him to stand up. Fuck did it hurt. George grunted and yanked himself away, pulling his hair harder in the process. It didn't pull his hair hard enough to rip anything out, but it sure was enough to where it was painful. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Letting Dream be flirty with you like that?"

"What? It was all a joke I promise, Leo." George said, backing away a few steps. It was true that Clay had been a bit flirty when answering some donos about George, but it wasn't anything to fret over. It was like normal, playful little replies and compliments Clay always gave to George. But George guessed Leo didn't know that. 

"Sure," Leo slapped George. Hard. Then he pointed to the bed. "Get in the bed and go the fuck to sleep. I was going to let you have dinner, but now I don't even want to fucking see you."

George didn't move for a second. He just stood there shocked. This had been the first time Leo was sober and hit him. Whatever he did made Leo angry enough to slap him. Guilt floods his body followed by immense hurt. What was the excuse to hurt him now? 

"What the fuck are you doing? Get on the fucking bed," Leo barked. George ran over to the bed in tears. 

"Leo," George called when Leo turned to go out the door. Leo turned to him, clenching his fist. "I'm sorry."

"You better be," Leo said before slamming the door closed. George practically jumped out of his skin. He brought a hand up to his face to feel the burning spot on his cheek. He knew he deserved to feel this way, but he couldn't help but feel a little helpless.

He lied down, feeling a bit empty. He thought about what Clay and Nick could be doing at that moment. They were probably playing together, without George. God, he missed them, even if he just did talk to Clay. He missed their having their company wrapped around him constantly. 

He let himself fall asleep. His body begged for hydration and food, but he had to ignore it if he didn't want to upset Leo. He kind of thought he didn't need it anyway...

...

George woke up to Leo spooning him, and he quickly felt comfortable before he needed to get up. He got up out of his arms, though. He went to the bathroom for a shower, but before he stepped towards the shower, he glanced at himself in the mirror. Damn, Leo must have hit him hard. There was a big reddish print on his cheek. He held his breath for a second, just glaring at it. 

Then he looked at himself. He looked pretty normal, well, besides the red mark on his cheek. He must have gotten less sleep than he usually would get, because he could see what looked like eye bags forming. It wasn't that bad, so he just told himself to get more sleep and then continued getting ready to shower.

When stepping in, he saw the light bruises on his body from when Leo grabbed his shoulders a couple of days ago. There were tiny scratches still left on the back of his thighs that he could feel when he dragged his fingers across them. 

And before he took a step out, he saw his body for what other people saw it as. Ugly. He wasn't ever insecure of it besides his teenage years, but now that he looks he could see what people had a problem with. He was skinny in the wrong places, and had fat in the strange gross areas. —But it was okay because that was the reason Leo is restricting his diet, to help him get healthy. Right? Right. He remembered when he said, "Trust me. I'm trying to help. Now will you let me?" 

He got dressed after the shower, and after seeing Leo was asleep he checked his phone. Like normal, he ignored most of them. The only text he got from friends is Bad sending him memes, but he also got some from Clay.

_Dream: Hey  
Dream: How are you?  
Dream: up for streaming? I'm gonna upload it as a video like tommy does with his because it's going to be another max speed one  
Dream: also...sapnap will be there... I don't know if you guys worked the thing out or not_

He wanted to ignore it, really badly. He missed Clay and Nick, but he wasn't in the mood right now. However, after seeing Clay yesterday, he just couldn't reject him. He was clearly proud to talk to George, and George doesn't want to disappoint him like he did everyone else. That thought startled him because why was he like this all of a sudden? The positive thoughts and the ones wondering if he was okay was starting to be covered up by the bad ones. He wondered why his thoughts were so negative lately, but he let himself believe this was just his off day.

He also didn't want to disappoint Nick. They hadn't talked much since George's phone call, except for the worried text Nick sent afterwards in which George responded saying his phone died. He really needed to break the tension between them, hence it was his fault.

_George: Yeah sure sounds good  
George: me and sapnap are fine_

__

Dream: good to hear. I'm glad you made up! We'll start in about an hour. I want you to stream to so I can have everyone's perspective 

__

_George: okay_

__

Fuck. Of course he would need a face cam or else people will try to meddle into his life, but he can't just show his face to thousands of people with a mark on his cheek without raising suspicion. Good thing he had an hour before he would have to start it. 

He got his keys and got in his car, driving towards a drug store. If he was going to show his face he would need a way to cover up anything he needed. 

When he walked in, it was mostly empty, which he was relieved to see. He went to the makeup aisle, looking for something to cover the redness up with. He only had the slightest idea on which makeup was which, and he wasn't sure what he should get. Hesitantly, he went to the front desk that had a lady who looked in her mid-thirties standing behind it. She was drawing on a little notepad, not noticing when George walked up. He saw that She had a name tag that said "Megan".

"Hi uh," George muttered scratching the back of his neck. "Can you help me find something?"

Megan looked up at him from her notepad. Her eyes showed sympathy when looking at him. "Yeah, sweetie! What are you looking for?"

She had a sweet southern accent, which was strange to hear in England, but George thought it was cute. He smiled shyly. "I need uh, makeup to cover...this up." He motioned towards his cheek.

He prayed she wouldn't ask what happened, but apparently God didn't feel like helping today. "What happened, baby? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. There's no problem just I uh-," George didn't know how he would make an excuse and decided to be vague. "J-Just a clumsy mistake. I just need to cover it up before... before this thing that I have to go to."

She nodded, "Here follow me. We'll get you concealer and maybe some powder and foundation for good measure." She made her way out from behind the desk slowly and then she prompted George to follow her back to the makeup aisle. 

Megan grabbed concealer and then held out her hand. George got confused, furrowing his eyebrows. "Give me your hand, silly." She laughed.

George set his hand in hers as she swatched the makeup on him, seeing that it was light enough to fit his skin tone and handed it to him. "Hold this."

She picked up a few more products and tested them on George, before handing him just powder. "We don't have foundation that is light enough for you, but just make sure to come back next time and I'll help ya."

George grinned at her, "Thank you, miss." 

They both went back to the register to ring George up, and he looked at the time, seeing that he had just enough time left to get back and set everything up. 

"Don't you go making anymore clumsy mistakes. Hear me, son?" Megan said jokingly, putting an emphasis on 'clumsy mistakes'. She was grinning as she talked, showing her clean white teeth. George hoped she didn't mean to sound sarcastic, like she had known it was more than a clumsy mistake.

"Yeah. Thank you again for helping. Have a nice day." George replied, turning away.

"Have a nice day too , sweetheart, and hey." She called out to him. George looked back at her. "Is everything okay?"

George faked a smile. "Yes I'm okay. Thank you."

...

George got hope to see that Leo was still asleep, and he thanked God for that. Maybe God is on his side today. He told Leo to move to the couch so that he could continue to sleep, and he grumpily did what he was told. 

George went to the bathroom, cursing as he saw that he forgot to get a makeup applicator. Oh well, he can just apply it with his finger. He put concealer on first, and was surprised that it worked pretty well. He then applied the powder. Close up the makeup looked a little messed up, but he would work on that with a little bit of practice. All he had to worry about was how it would look on camera.

He set everything up for the stream and then entered a call with Clay and Nick. He scanned his own face in the camera to see if his face looked strange, and luckily it looked normal. "Hey guys."

"Hey," Both Nick and Clay said. "Did you start your stream yet?" Clay asked.

"Yeah," George said. "Everything's on I made sure."

"Nice what about you Sapnap?" Clay asked Nick, who responded the same. "Okay so hey stream! Hi! Today we're streaming something we're also gonna upload on the dream team channel. We're gonna beat minecraft with max speed on. Its not gonna be fun." Clay giggled as he was greeting the fans and explaining what they were doing. George felt a little flutter in his heart when hearing him.

"Whoever dies the most has to give me money to buy Chick-fil-A!" Nick exclaimed as they entered a game. 

"What if you die the most?" George asked, laughing. Hearing Nick's voice reminded him of how much he really longed to hear it again. 

"I'd buy my own food, you idiot." Nick said, whacking George's character.

"But you're still the only one getting Chick-fil-A! How is that fair?" George whined. "I want foo-" George quickly shut his mouth.

"What?" Clay asked, curious as to why George interrupted himself. 

"Nothing just- I thought I saw something." George lied. He knew the truth, he didn't need food, nor did he really want it. 

"Fine. Whoever dies the most sends everyone money to get food and then we can all eat it at the end as a mukbang," Nick offered.

"Uhm, I-I already had something." George looked around aimlessly. He felt that if he looked at the chat people would be talking about him stuttering through the sentence. 

"But weren't you about to say early that you wanted something too?" Nick asked, but George stayed silent. He looked at the chat, seeing normal chats that were just talking about them. Then he saw one that caught his eye. 

"He doesn't need it anyway. Fatass" It read. It reminded him of being stuck with Leo's friends, and then calling him names. He quickly became overwhelmed. That was the last straw before he had to cry. Tears threaten to spew before he spoke up. "Guys I uhm. I wa- I need some water I'll be right back."

He walked to his bathroom and right when he closed the door behind himself he started to cry. He just let it all out, holding his face in his hands. The thing that person had said about just had made George tip over the edge today. 

After cleaning his face and making sure he didn't look upset, he got a glass of water from the kitchen so at least he technically wouldn't be lying. He walked back to the stream and sat down. "Alright I have my water!"

"Okay," Clay said, "I kind of accidentally killed you." He said, obviously trying not to laugh.

George giggled. "Sure it was an accident. Anyway, sapnap I agree that whoever dies the most will buy everyone food. And a mukbang sounds nice."

George was glad that he moved Leo to the couch or else he would probably be trying to protest against George's decision. In reality, George was only planning to lose so that maybe it would get him out of getting food. He could make up an excuse as to why he didn't buy it for himself.

"Sick," Nick said. "Now give me my shit back Dream."

Halfway through, the same person from earlier commented again. "Who else hopes we don't have to see George eat?" 

George gritted his teeth before he couldn't take it and muted himself, rolling out of camera to pretend to do something as he started to cry again. He was pathetic. What was he even doing right now? Was he really having to mute the stream to cry? Where was all of this newfound hatred for himself coming from? He had so many questions to ask that he knew wouldn't make anything better. 

He rolled back into camera, "Sorry I thought I heard something again so I was looking."

"Ha. Do you have ghosts in your house or something?" Clay snickered. 

"Wouldn't be surprised. I had ghosts in my childhood home." George said, trying not to look at the chat again. 

"Woah really? Why haven't you told us that before?" Nick asked, sounding interested.

"It's not that interesting. Just a couple of weird things happening." George pretended to accidentally walk into lava. He was already dying the most, (they coded it so that it would count the deaths) but it wouldn't do any harm if he added more. "Ugh Im shit at this."

"Me too," Clay admitted. "But tell us a ghost story about your house George. I want to hear about your interesting life."

"I'm not interesting," George said, "but I'll tell a ghost story if the chat wants one." And of course, the chat repeated that he should tell them one. He had been scared to look, but he was relieved to see it was just enough of them spamming "GHOST STORY" to where he couldn't anything else. 

"You are interesting, George," Clay said softly. "Now tell us a ghost story." Clay's character excitingly jumping. It was pretty cute. 

"Okay fine," George was feeling a bit nervous, afraid they would become interested and tell him to stop, but he assured himself that they weren't like that. 

They weren't anything like what Leo's friends were. 

—but George was also scared because they were really close to beating the game. He was not prepared to have to lie about food again. 

"So I was having a sleepover with my friend from middle school and we decided to sleep on the couches. We heard things moving in the kitchen when we were trying to sleep. I went to go look and some drawers had been opened and silverware was laid neatly on the counter. It could have been someone tricking us but it freaked us out, and things like that happened a lot." George had been going on about it with no interruptions, and that had surprised him a lot. He was used to being interrupted or having Leo's friends say something to stop him.

"That is kind of creepy," Nick said, "but why would a ghost just lay silverware out like that? Was it fucking making up the table or something?" Clay and Nick laughed. 

"Guess so," George laughed with them. 

After a while of telling a few more ghost stories and talking about other stuff, they beat the game. It felt like it had been hours, and there was no way Leo was still asleep. He tried to ignore the anxiety that creeped up from that. 

To George's dismay, Nick and Clay didn't forget about the food.

"So George you gonna send us the money?" Nick said, "pay up gogy"

After they new the total, George sent both of them money through donations and they both then eagerly ordered the food. As they waited, Clay was humming an unfamiliar tune. It was slow and soft, and made George feel at ease. He felt some of his nerves regarding the situation melt away just a little. It was baffling just how comforting Clay could be sometimes. 

"Thanks George, but are you gonna order food too?" Clay asked before continuing to hum. 

George gulped. He hoped his excuse would be enough. "No, Leo texted me and said he wanted to eat something else later."

"Oh okay." Good they bought it. 

The same person from earlier was back. Once again saying mean things, but George saw more this time. 

"Good we don't have to see him eat. That would be nasty"

"I don't know why I watch his streams. I think I do it so that I can make fun of him with my friends. Its funny"

"Anyone else find him really uninteresting?"

And more... These felt worse seeing a fan say it. Leo's friends words meant less to him than fans words. This really hurt. "Hey uh- guys I think I'll need stream now. Bye." He said, waving his hands. He was trying his hardest not to let tears fall down his face. There was no way he was going to get out of crying in front of his friends, so he let the tears fall. 

"George what? Why are you ending your stream? you okay?" Nick asked George, who remained quiet until he texted Nick begging him to end the stream. Clay had received one too.

They both ended it, and George instantly let out a sob, scaring both of his friends. "George. George. What's wrong?"

George had to calm down before he could talk properly. "I'm sorry. I know this is stupid and I'm sorry you have to deal with me and end your stream. I just really- I just had a hard day."

Clay inhaled. "George you're not bothering us. Just let it out, ba-" He cleared his throat. George was too busy crying to notice anything. "Just let it out. Its okay that we had to close our streams. What happened today to make you like this?"

"It was stressful, and I've had a couple of..." George trailed off.

"Of what?" Clay was speaking softly, urging him give them an explanation.

"I've been getting some hate comments. They just kind of hurt coming from fans." George explained, saying is slowly so that he wouldn't stutter more than he had already been. 

"Yeah. I get that it hurts, but know those aren't fans that are sending you shit. They aren't real fans if they do that," Clay said. "Is there anything we could do to help you calm down a bit?"

"Yeah don't believe what they say. What could we do to help you?"

What Clay and Nick had said made George aware he was still crying a lot. He was breathing hard and obviously needed something else to calm him down. "I don't know."

"You could get Leo," Nick offered. George didn't want Leo right now, he wanted his friends.

"No. Its fine. I-" then he remembered what Clay had done that made him feel better earlier. "Cl- Dream. Can you uh,"

"Yeah? Can I what?" Clay asked sweetly. 

"Can you hum whatever you were humming earlier?" George asked, "Please." He added. 

This seemed to surprise Clay a little, from what George could tell. He had said nothing before he cleared his throat one again. "Yeah sure."

Clay started to hum. It was a nice tune, George thought. He wondered what song it could be, but he didn't want to stop Clay to ask. George almost fell asleep as he calmed down, but he didn't want to fall asleep on call right there. Hesitant to stop Clay from humming, he finally said something. "I'm gonna go to bed now. That really helped guys. Thank you a lot."

George could practically hear Clay smiling. "Okay. I'm glad it helped. Goodnight George."

"Goodnight George. I hope you sleep well. If you need any more help we'll be here." Nick added in. George felt so grateful to have friends that he could go to, even if he felt a little guilty for bothering them.

"Thanks guys. Goodnight." They ended the call. George immediately got into bed without even getting ready. Almost falling asleep on call showed him how tired he really was. 

That was until Leo walked in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any constructive feedback is greatly appreciated. Also regarding the ending, I’m settling with something I think, though it may change there’s a huge probability that it won’t be sloppy. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading George not catching a fucking break :D
> 
> (PLEASE DONT BE BOTHERED ABOUT THE STUPID INDENTS I USE MY PHONE BECAUSE MY COMPUTER IS SLOW AND I DONT HAVE WIFI SO PLEASE BARE WITH ME BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX IT LOL)


	10. Scooby-Doo Bandaids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, sorry. I’ve had, like, zero motivation. I just hope I didn’t have you waiting for too long.

Trying to ignore them, that's what George was doing on a cold afternoon in the empty parking lot of some convenient store. They, as in Leo and his friends, were not leaving him alone. 

Alan had started the game of putting out cigarettes on George's skin again, but this time Leo was the one who started something else. "Don't ask him to listen. He's no good for that."

George had thought he was right about that, for the most part. Last night he had just suffered the consequences of not listening to Leo, and he had one or two bruises to prove that.

"Leo I said I was sorry," George explained, bitting his lip anxiously. He did say he was sorry, but maybe it wasn’t enough. 

“Mhmm,” Leo hummed, "But didn't I have knock the same exact reasons into you as to why you shouldn't talk to your friends?" Leo questioned George, but his words showed he was not really asking for a reply. George gulped, because he remembered Leo did really have to knock the words into him.

_Leo had walked into George's bedroom, basically stomping his way in. He was clenching his fist and crossing his arms like a toddler. "George who did you stream with?"_

_"My friends, why?" George asked, feeling a bit small in his computer chair compared to the six foot bulky man in front of him. Leo had always towered over him, but it was mostly these times George felt really small._

_"Which one of your friends, dumbass?" Leo shouted, walking closer than before. George hoped he was drunk, but in the back of his mind he knew he wasn’t. He was sober._

_"Dream and Sapnap," George said quietly, hoping to calm Leo down a little. He wasn’t sure why he was so mad to begin with._

_"What have I told you about them?"_

_"What? You've only told me you didn't like them and—was there something else?" George asked. That's when Leo had hit his shoulder, causing him to let out a noise between a grunt and cry._

_"Leo- what- Are you drunk?" George stuttered out, backing into his chair as he could feel Leo's warm breath on him._

_"No. Now listen to me, George," He rasped, clinging on to George's wrist, who was holding his breath in distant hope that nothing would happen. "You need to stop hanging out with them."_

_"No they're my-" Leo interrupted him by grabbing him up and pulling him off the chair. "Leo-"_

_Leo threw him against a wall, blocking him so that there was no way out. His face was covered in anger. "I said listen to me, bitch. You do what I tell you, you hear?”_

_"But I," George stopped himself before Leo punched him in the ribs, almost knocking the air out of him._

_"Fucking listen to me," Leo yelled in his face. George was stuck to the wall, frozen almost._

_"Yeah okay, Leo, I hear you. I won't do- I won't do it again," George spluttered. George almost jumped out of his skin when he was slapped. He gasped, wondering what he did wrong when all he was doing was apologizing. "Leo please stop."_

_"Stop what? You don't think I'm disciplining you when you deserve it?" Leo's hands were attached to George's waist, purposefully scratching at the bare skin from under his shirt._

George nodded at what Leo had said about knocking some sense into him. The cold was nipping at his face from the September weather. He was glad Leo had prompted him to put his sweater on to warm him up—well the real reason was to cover everything he had done the night before, and George remembered that Leo was very apologetic about what he'd done while he was at it. He had even offered to order something before they went, and even if George's stomach had been begging for what could have been a few days now, he denied it. 

George was wondering why Leo wasn't looking as guilty, but the sweater he was wearing made him have a little bit of faith in him. It was Leo's. It was moderately big on George, covering his hands and hanging on his shoulders a bit, going down to almost his mid- thigh. Leo was just a few inches taller than George, but his build had made him seem so much larger than him, so the hoodie had felt like a nice warm embrace Leo would use to give him.

It was a navy blue color, that George couldn't even tell was blue. It smelled like cigarettes, and maybe a tinge of a citrus-y cologne type smell. 

The sweater covered up the things Leo had done, so did make-up, but the sweater was like a big "I'm sorry for hurting you" and maybe George accepted this apology. 

"How about we teach him some more, ya know, knock more sense into him. You think he needs that?" Alan chuckled. Jake laughed with him.

'Wait what?' George had thought as his stomach felt like it had just fell out of him to the floor. He knew exactly what Alan meant by that. 

The universe was really giving him a big "Fuck you" right now. He had just then realized Raphael wasn't there. Out of all days he could have been gone.

"Leo what do you say?" Alan asked again. 

Leo shrugged, as if he had not been listening. Well, that's at least the reason of his dismissal that George had hoped of. "I'm going to go get more cigs, you can thank me later."

George shot up. He was not up for another beating. "Can I come with you?"

Leo looked around like he was contemplating it. He sighed irritably, like George had been a bother when asking to come along. "No, it wont take me long."

"Please," George grabbed his hand, staring at him with begging eyes. 

"No." Leo yanked his hand away coldly. 

“Sorry.” Why was he so confusing? George never knew how he felt truly, and his emotions always seemed to switch up.

Terrified, George quickly tried to find a way to get out of there. "Uh I need to go to the bathroom."

Alan stopped him by placing a hand on his chest. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Where do you think you're going?" He teased.

Alan pushed him to the ground harshly, proceeding to start kicking him everywhere he could. He wasn't going very hard, but it still hurt, especially when Jake joined in. 

George had struggled and tried to get up a couple of times, only to be knocked down once again. He simply had given up at some point, just sitting there taking it all. He had prayed Leo would be coming back soon.

"Fuck," he coughed out. He was shaking and holding himself tight, almost trying to protect the more painful places they could kick. We had felt more exhausted than normal, and it was probably from the lack of food, but it made him even weaker.

"What the fuck guys. Fucking stop! Are you crazy?" Someone yelled. George glanced up to see Raphael standing by his car and the guys staring at him. "Get the fuck away from him."

"What are you a pansy, too, Raph? You want this piece of shit too?" Alan asked, kicking George once to see if it would set his friend off. Raphael threw their bodies away from George. 

“What benefits do you get from bothering him? What if Leo saw? What would he do to you?" Raphael jogged over to George and helped him up. When getting up, George felt like he was going to fall back over. He leaned onto Raphael to help him, and he did just that.

"Hey, George. Come on. Get up,” He said softly.

He took George to his car, opening the door and setting him down on the drivers seat. "Are you okay, man? Did they hurt you too hard?"

George shook his head. "They really d-didn't do it that hard."

"Guess they're too weak? No one can really hurt Georgenotfound as much as they think they can, huh?” Raphael grinned a sappy little grin. "How about we go inside and get something to help those scratches?"

George rapidly declined. "No. No, can we go to uh- can we go to that one drug store near here? I don't remember the name, but I can show you where it is."

Raphael didn't even ask why, and to that George felt himself slump back in relief. He moved to the passenger seat so that Raphael could climb in. After driving for a few minutes, George pointed when seeing the drug store. "Right there."

Raphael parked in the parking lot and then he turned toward George. "Do you want to go in together?" 

"Uh, yeah. I don't know what to get so.." George said, slowly hopping out. As they walked in, he was doing the nervous habit of grabbing at his sleeves again. 

"Oh! Hi, Sweetie!" Megan chirped at the mere sight of George. George couldn't help but let out a smile. He felt eyes peering at him while he walked up to Megan.

Raphael cleared his throat. "You two know each other, George?"

“Uh, yeah. I've been here before to get something,” George told him, “You remember me?"

"Of course I remember that pretty face of yours! It was just yesterday.” As Megan got a closer look at George, she gasped. "Oh my god! What happened this time?"

"I-"

"He fell off his bike." Raphael said for him. "I told him he better be careful about it, but he just doesn't listen to me."

"Y-Yeah. Now we just need something to fix me up." George said, shuffling.

"Okay, well. You must be a clumsy fellow then, George." Megan said. She let them walk away into the right isle. George was sleepily following Raphael around.

Raphael had grabbed a couple things like bandaids and something to clean the cuts with. He took some pain medicine and some other things George didn't get to see as he was too busy staring off to be able to. He was wondering if Leo would have allowed him here, but maybe he wouldn't have to know of they got back on time.

“Raph? Do you mind if I call you that,” Raphael grinned widely at that, in which George took as a yes. “Raph can we hurry?”

“Yeah sure,” He titled his head towards the front to get George to walk up first. 

Megan huffed. “Ya know, George. I told you not to make any more mistakes.” She began scanning and bagging their things.

“I’m sorry, miss. I’m just- I’m clumsy like that,” George let out a nervous laugh, hoping it sounded nonchalant.

Megan sighed at that. After Raphael gave her the money, she spoke again. “You need to be more careful.”

“I know.”

...

Once they got back, Leo still had not gotten out of the store. George was about to worry about him before Raphael reassured him. Then, he was set in the drivers seat again to be fixed up.

“I can’t believe you’re helping him.” Alan angrily shook his head in what was probably disgust. 

“I can’t believe you beat him up,” Raphael snapped back. Alan glared at him petulantly. 

Raphael rolled up George’s pants without warning, startling him a bit. “Oh!” 

“Did I scare you? I’m sorry.” Raphael asked, looking up at him. His fingers gripped at the pants, not moving away respectively like George would have thought he would.

“Yes, but I’m fine.” George said and let him continue. Raphael wiped his cuts with a couple of antiseptic wipes, and then he applied a few bandaids to the ones that needed to be covered. A breathy laugh came out of George at seeing the print on them. “Scooby-doo?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with Scooby-doo?” He joked as he unwrapped another from its packaging. “Scooby-doo’s cool.”

George rolled his eyes facetiously. “It is cool, but why did you get them instead of the normal ones?”

“Because they’re better.” Raphael stuck another one on his leg before moving to his hoodie. He lifted it up without permission again, essentially running his hands along the skin. George pulled away at that.

“Sorry.” Raphael coughed. An awkward silence followed the situation before Raphael decided it was okay to speak again. “Did anyone ever tell you that you have a cute accent.” There was a little frustration to his eyes that George didn’t quite notice.

“Yeah. A lot of people do actually. What’s so different about me than anyone else with one. Like you.” George rambled. Raphael had went back to disinfecting his cuts and applying bandaids to his even more so cut up sides. He had moved to his arms now. 

“We’ll mine isn’t as noticeable, and I don’t know. It just is cute on you.” Raphael said, getting up after finishing up on George’s arms. “Alright. We’re all done.”

“Just take these,” Raphael handed him a bottle of ibuprofen. George shook a few of them in his hand before giving them back and getting up. Once again, he felt as if he was about to fall back into the seat. He balanced himself and then moved out of the way so that Raphael could shut the car door.

“Thanks for helping me,” George said before seeing his own boyfriend walking out of the store. 

“Hey Leo. Why did you take so long?” George asked. Leo wrapped a arm around him.

“Oh, just some long lines,” Leo replied, kissing his forehead. “How does food sound guys?”

...

Clay was sitting in his couch with patches in his lap, air pods in his ears connected to his phone. He hummed along to it. 

Ever since yesterday day, He wasn’t able to get the song out of his head. George asked him to hum it for him and after he had left to sleep, Clay went straight to listening to it over and over again. It just stuck to him more it had than before. 

He was reminded of George when he listened to it, and whatever his brain did to apply the lyrics to their life wasn’t helping. 

“And I miss my lover, man,” He sang, softly. He wasn’t the best, that’s for sure, but it felt good to sing.

Is George his lover? Not at all. 

If only he was. 

Clay wondered if there were any other songs he could apply to his life. He always wanted to make a playlist dedicated to George, even if he was worried about his reaction. 

He told Daryl once, in which he replied with “Oh, how cute! The little muffin would love that.”

Clay had laughed in response, sure it was sweet but he knew it was probably creepy, too. Whatever obsession he had with George in one playlist might freak George out a little.

“Patches, do you think I’ll ever get over him?” He asked his cat, petting the back of her head and scratching.

He knew he wouldn’t. Even if George had Leo, Clay had already dug himself far enough of a hole. Leo had just covered the hole up with dirt while Clay was in it.

Leo was kind to him, yet Clay had felt selfishly jealous the whole time he was around. He wanted to steal George, as if he needed to be taken. Leo was a perfect boyfriend, sweet and good enough for George, and Clay simply was not. George must’ve liked Leo a lot if he was rarely ever spending time with them. Leo had work, and yet George didn’t even use that time to talk to his friends after a few months of dating.

God, was he sick of it. He was sick and tired of liking George.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again! I love comments and I will respond to the majority of them if they are soemthing I can respond to! Please, leave any constructive feedback or if you see a mistake feel free to point it out! Thank you <3
> 
> Also, again, please excuse the dumb indents ugh://


	11. Bad Idea!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Dream this chapter, tell me what you think? Also, next chapter should come quick, at least I hope so.

  
The mouse hovered over the "Create Playlist" option on Spotify. Clay pulled it away, clicking on his ":(" playlist, letting it play. He sighed, letting his hands fall dramatically to his lap. 

He'd been wanted to create a playlist for George for some time, but he never got the balls to do it. Even if he had several songs swimming in his head that when he listen to he thought of George, he would never make a physical playlist about him. It was just a little on the obsessive side in Clay's opinion.

"I love you" by Billie Eilish was in the background. 

He had to admit, meeting Leo and seeing him interact with George put him in the dumps. He needed someway to keep himself in check before he would tip over. 

He needed to call Nick.

"That's so dumb," Nick snorted, "why would he think it's weird? Just do it. No one said you would have to show him."

"I think it's weird," Clay said, putting an emphasis on the I. "I mean who just, obsessively makes playlists for their friends?"

"Dude, a lot of people do it," Nick said, "George would not be any indifferent to it."

"Well first, he has a boyfriend—" 

Nick stopped him. "And? Not like you're going to make it all lovey and then send it to him. Like I said, he doesn't have to know it exists until you feel like it."

"Well, then what's the point of even making it?" Clay said, irritably. He was picking at his nails, staring at the bright screen in front of him that displayed twitter and teamspeak. 

"You have to get all those feelings out somehow," Nick stated. He was right, and Clay knew that. Even if George wouldn't have to see it, the playlist could still be for him.— But Clay still didn't like to think about making a vent playlist about him, even if Nick would keep reassuring him.

"Are you okay, Dream?" Nick asked him with the soft, comforting tone in his voice. 

Clay shrugged his shoulders as if Nick could see. "I dunno, I'm just over having feelings. That whole damn stream I felt jealous. And of fucking course Leo had to be perfect. He's so much better than me."

"Wow," Nick scoffed, "you really are not as smart as everyone says you are. I'm going to break it to you, George can't be yours. You're going to have to get over that. Sure, you can still like him but there's no use worrying about how he feels when he's got a boyfriend. Don't even worry he's got one, too."

Clay so desperately wanted to bite back at Nick, but that wouldn't help his situation. Plus, Nick wasn't wrong at all. He needed to get over George, and quickly. "I shouldn't give you a pep talk every week for you to realize this."

"You know that one Ricky Montgomery song? Mr. Loverman?" Clay started, "I can't get it out of my head."

"No I don't know it."

"Of course you don't, with your teenage white boy music taste," Clay snorted, and then did the typical wheeze-laugh he always did. 

"Shut up. At least I don't associate every single love song I listen to with my crush," Nick teased. Clay could basically hear the little smirk he had on his face.

"Alright, alright. I'm gonna go. Bye love you, Sapnap," Clay said mid-laugh before exiting out of the call. 

He hated the feeling of being bored of his mind and being down, it felt like the day was never going to end. 

He had to do something.

He had to get rid of these feelings. 

The feelings that were coiling in his stomach. The ones that haunted his mind enough for him to lose sleep because of it. 

Clay remembered that when he was just turning 21 that he went to a bar near Orlando a couple of times. He'd met some nice people, and overall his drinking experience wasn't that bad. 

He searched it up, making sure it was open, and it was. He called an Uber to pick him up, since he was smart enough not to drive his car to get there. He didn't want to have to get drunk and wait to drive it back. 

"Wow," Clay mumbled to himself, "drinking our problems away, now? Is that who we are, Dream?"

Fuck it. He didn't care, maybe this would only be a one time thing. 

He put on black jeans and a plain dark grey t-shirt. It was simple, but he really didn't feel like adding much more.

On the way there, he'd seen he had multiple missed messages from Tommy. It was just one of those times Tommy liked to message people out of the blue to ask them to do something with them.

_Tommy: hey big man  
Tommy: hey  
Tommy: wanna join me on the smp?_

_Dream: I'm busy  
Dream: why are you up, "big man"  
Dream: isn't it 4 am for you?_

_Tommy: yes and bc im bored  
Tommy: what are you busy with at 10 pm_

_Dream: nothing  
Dream: editing _

_Tommy: sure, sure. If you were editing you'd still come_

_Dream: what do you want_

_Tommy: you to tell me what you're really doing, but also I want clout_

_Dream: why are you streaming Tommy you have school_

_Tommy: so? I cant mange it.  
Tommy: call me you bastard_

_Dream: I cant._

_Tommy: why_

Dream: jfc im out thats why

_Tommy: oh :I  
Tommy: DREAM WHERE?_

_Dream: promise not to tell anyone, excluding sapnap  
Dream: although he may get mad at me_

_Tommy: I swear_

_Dream: I'm going to this bar i first went to last time i turned 21_

_Tommy: you never came off as a guy who drank to me_

_Dream: yeah ngl im not really a big drinking guy_

_Tommy: any particular reason you're drinking? ___

____

_Dream: problems. Rather not talk too much about them  
Dream: you can ask sapnap if you want to meddle_

____

_Tommy: can I ask a question  
Tommy: about the problems  
Tommy: you don't have to answer_

____

_Dream: go for it_

____

_Tommy: do they have to do with george?  
Tommy: you've seemed off lately since he met Leo_

____

_Dream: yes_

____

_Tommy: so you're drinking cuz of your jealousy?_

___ _

_Dream: it sounds dumb when you say it like that_

____

_Tommy: it cuz it is  
Tommy: im not gonna yell at you for it  
Tommy: mostly cuz sapnap will lol  
Tommy: but also im not in charge of you_

____

_Dream: ok thanks  
Dream: im done talking about it rn_

____

_Tommy: that's ok  
Tommy: I still want clout tho_

____

_Dream: you get more views than me on mcc you have enough clout kid_

____

_Tommy: KID?  
Tommy: shut up adult_

____

_Dream: well lucky for you i just got to the bar so maybe I will shut up_

____

_Tommy: good cya big man_

____

_Dream: see you._

____

  
Clay made his way into the bar. Luckily it wasn't too crowded. He preferred it that way, not too much noise or too many gross sweaty bodies fumbling around drunkenly. 

____

Clay sat down at the bar where it was clear of other people, not really wanting to start any conversations until he was in here for longer. Maybe someone would come up so that he wouldn't just have to awkwardly walk up to someone else, even if he wasn't that shy. He had to admit, he was a little nervous with meeting people offline. He was only sometimes shy, but mostly when it came to certain types of people. He also was scared that, with being who he is, someone would somehow leak his face. He was more comfortable around his friends, so he wasn't as loud or flowing when meeting new people. 

____

He shouldn't think about it this much.

____

"Jack and Coke on ice, please," Dream told the bartender. He wasn't sure what he was going to order, but he just chose whatever seemed right.

____

He was handed it a few minutes later. He took it and saying a quick "thank you." As he sipped on his drink, his mind shifted off to George. It was ironic. Coming here to forget his feelings but then his mind is full of thoughts about his best friend. His best friend who doesn't feel the same. 

____

His best friend who had a loving boyfriend. 

____

He didn't even stop himself at this point. He'd just imagine sitting there with George, having a casual conversation while his hand lied on his thigh. Maybe Clay would kiss his neck softly a few times while being too drunk to care that anyone could see them. 

____

"What are you thinking about over here?" Someone said behind him. He pushed away his thoughts and looked at the guy walking up beside him. 

____

Clay cleared his throat. "Nothing."

____

Clay had to admit he was pretty cute. He had brown eyes, and messy dark brown hair. He was wearing a black plaid shirt under a dark blue Jean jacket and black jeans. He didn't know why this guy was wearing layers in Florida, but it was pretty cold in the bar. 

____

The guy smirked and put out his hands, "I'm Jasper."

____

Clay shook it. "I'm dr- Clay."

____

Jasper sat down beside him, "So what are you doing here on a weekday?"

____

"I'm just bored. You?"

____

"I come here a lot. I haven't seen you around here any, are you visiting?" Jasper asked, downing whatever drink he had. 

____

"No, but I am only 21 and I'm not a big drinker, so really no point." Clay explained. Jasper eyed him as he talked. Maybe Clay thought that it was really attractive.

____

"If you're not a big drinker then why are you out here?"

____

Clay shrugged his shoulders. "Bored," He repeated.

____

"Have you ever been drunk?" When Jasper scooted obviously closer, Clay knew Jasper wasn't going shy. He was totally hitting on him. Clay was not that up for flirting with a stranger, but he would do it to get his mind off of everything. 

____

—And unironically, Jasper sort of resembled George. That gave Clay another motive. 

____

"Once." He said, scooting closer as well.

____

"Want to do it again, babe?" Jasper bit his lip. He smiled when Clay nodded and then he got them a round of shots.

____

"I'll go first," Jasper said before abandoning his other drink to down his first shot. Afterwards, he did a little "woo" that Clay found cute. Maybe this will get his mind off George.

____

Clay grabbed his first shot, and then he glanced at Jasper for reassurance. In return, Clay got wavy hands and words to prompt him to drink it. "Go on."

____

Clay smiled after drinking it. He wiped the dripping alcohol on his mouth and then went for the second one, mostly to impress Jasper. The drink burned down his throat, almost making his eyes water. 'Better than staying sober with my feelings burning my insides,' he'd thought.

____

"Wow, that's so hot." Jasper breathed. This guy really had no filter.

____

"Thank you," Clay said, awkwardly. He hadn't been saying much in return to Jasper, but when it wasn't George he didn't have as much confidence to just go for it. Then again, this was just a hot stranger.

____

Soon enough, they were close enough for their knees to knock together, and drunk enough for them both to have no filter when it came to talking to each other. 

____

"Are you gay?" Jasper had asked after some time, "you better be."

____

"Yes, obviously," Clay giggled, "why?"

____

"Cuz if you couldn't tell, I'm really into you." Jasper leaned to his ear and whispered, "I want you."

____

Clay answered honestly, "I want you too."

____

"Did you bring your car?" 

____

"No, sorry. Did you?" Jasper muttered a quick yes in response before pulling him from his chair. Clay didn't notice how much smaller this guy was until they both were standing. He had to be about 5'10. 

____

When the got to the car, Jasper smashed their lips together. It wasn't a bad kiss, and he tasted like alcohol and some kind of pie. Clay had to admit that it was pretty nice.

____

Clay took control of the kiss, pushing Jasper's smaller body against his car. Clay almost stopped himself when his mind started imagine George under him as he began to kiss down Jasper's neck. 

____

"Fuck," Jasper breathed, "You're so much bigger than me."

____

Clay chuckled deeply, "I know."

____

Clay intertwined their hands, imagining it was George's pale white skin rather than the tan skin it truly was. 

____

"Let's get in the car," Jasper said drunkenly before yanking the door open and laughing from being pushed in the back seat.

____

Clay climbed on top of him. After some time, the air in the vehicle got stiffer as their body's became hotter. 

____

Then Clay's phone started ringing.

____

It was George. His heart stopped. 

____

"Shit. Uh— Sorry, we'll just ignore that. I can call them later."

____

They went on, letting Clay forget about his feelings like he came there to do.

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback appreciated as always! What do you think if I made a playlist for this and linked it for you guys?


	12. This Feeling’s Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for all the love! Here’s my playlist, it’s weird champ that I made it but I hyper fixate a lot, so here you go:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5JRhVzsF6cJsNGpbgI7tNA?si=tWhTmWa2Ty6OO_05VFYxYA

> 
> If the link doesn’t work I’m sorry idfk how to do it correctly *sweats nervously*

There he was, hanging over the toilet, vomiting up what he had eaten yesterday. 

"You're disgusting," George told himself. 

He felt that shouldn't have waited to do this, because letting the food sit there made him feel even more gross. 

Leo had let him order food, but then he chose what he got for him. It was only some kind of healthy wrap, but George almost heaved at the table when eating it. Leo said he wanted him to eat it all, but proceeded to look at him with disgust as he finished it off. 

He sat up from the toilet bowl, holding his stomach and letting hot tears run down his face. The cold tile of the bathroom against his legs made him shiver more than he already had been shivering. He was wearing Leo's t-shirt and boxers, letting his thighs be on full display.

He just hated that, more than he had hated the distasteful tight pants that made them look even more unattractive.

He got out of the bathroom, joining Leo in the bed. He saw that the clock read 7 p.m. He let himself curl against Leo, letting it all out without control. 

"Baby," Leo said in a soft voice, "Baby boy what's wrong?"

"It just hurts so much," He choked out, clenching Leo's shirt with his fist.

"What hurts?" Leo asked as he held George gentle and close, but it somehow didn't feel close enough to George.

"I don't know. I just feel so emotionally exhausted." George was crying softly now, trying his best to stop himself from completely emptying himself out.

"You're probably just tired, baby. You should go back to sleep," Leo said as he tucked the cover under George's chin. 

"But I'm not tired, I need you to listen to me." George grumbled but then spoke in a begging tone, "please."

"No, and to be honest this is probably just you being down a couple of days. Nothing to worry about."

George sighed, and despite the the broken feeling snaking its way into his body, he considered Leo's thought for a moment. "You're probably right. I'll go back to sleep."

"Good. Thanks for listening to me."

...

George woke up around 1 a.m. and he had noticed Leo wasn't there. It was dark in the room and the tv had been shut off, so he grabbed his phone for a light before reaching and turning the lamp on beside him.

He heard the television in the living room, knowing that Leo must have moved while he was sleeping to do his own thing so that he wouldn't have to be as quiet. 

He prayed this wasn't like last time, where Leo had been drunk and he'd scream at George. George was already super sore from the day before, he couldn't afford having any more bruised than he already had.

He walked to the room through the pitch blackness of the hallway, it was almost giving him a feeling as if he'd finally got freedom and was making his way to paradise after life.

He wouldn't be that lucky. 

"Leo?" He called before seeing Leo sitting in the chair of the darkened living room. He held a beer in his hand. 

'Of course, of course he's drunk,' George thought, 'of course god hates me.'

He tried to walk back to his room, but Leo had saw him and spoke up, "Come here, George."

He flinched at the sudden noise, feeling the urge to run to his room and just lock the door. He did just that, hearing Leo running up behind his as he ran to the bed.

Leo knocked on the door. "George I promise I won't hurt you. Just let me in."

"But you're dr-drunk," George uttered, watching to door handle jiggle. It was terrifying really, sitting here with his boyfriend on the other side drunk and possibly ready to hurt him.

"I'm not that drunk, trust me." Leo assured, wiggling the door nob more as if George already went ahead and unlocked it.

There was dizziness from what he'd done to himself earlier and the confusion wether or not to trust Leo. He was delusional right now, and he wouldn't be surprised if Leo started clawing at the door to try to get in, but he also wouldn’t be surprised if Leo would treat him nicely.

However, he didn’t let Leo in. He let him wait walk away, which probably wasn’t the best idea considering the consequences would be worse.

He had to wait it out. He thought about sleeping more, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to.

With the chance of Leo somehow getting in, and the amount of sleep he already had, there was no way he’d manage.

After watching a couple of YouTube videos of his friends, he’d decided texting someone would make this time to make the time go faster. First, it was dream, well it was supposed to be. He just couldn’t do it. He didn’t have the courage to text Dream after what happened a few days ago. 

He started to message Dream, but he knew Leo would be angry, so he went to go text someone he hadn’t been taking to the day he was told to cut off his friends for awhile. 

_George: hey. I’m bored, and we haven’t talked much in a while. How are you?_

_Badboyhalo: hey George! I’m great, how are you?_

Oh how much George wanted to answer that honestly. Maybe he could say, “I kind of want to go to sleep and stay that way forever right now,” Or maybe even, “I’ve haven’t had food in four or five days, and when I finally ate I threw it all up.”

But in reality, he’d just been tired. He’d just been keeping himself healthier and more appealing to people. And that’s what Darryl would have told him. That he has no problems and that he’s just a normal human being with minimal problems.

_George: I’m okay, just tired_

_Badboyhalo: yeah. Isnt it almost 3 a.m. for you?_

_George: yeah it is. I just can’t sleep_

_Badboyhalo: why?_

“Because all I think about is how much no one wants me,” George almost typed. He quickly deleted the message before typing again.

George: eh, just sleepless nights

_Badboyhalo: is Leo asleep?_

_George: he is.  
George: he looks cute when he’s sleeping _

He figured that would make it less of a lie, but he knew if he told Darryl that Leo was possibly waiting for him to open to door to beat the shit out of him would raise his suspicion, and by a heck of a lot.

_Badboyhalo: aw! You muffins are adorable! ^_^  
Badboyhalo: I have this one song stuck in my brain for a while, it may help you feel better if you can’t sleep._

He smiled at that. Darryl was the sweetest person he knew, and his heart warmed at Darryls concern. 

_George: sure.  
George: what’s it called?_

_Badboyhalo: mr. loverman  
Badboyhalo: by Ricky Montgomery_

_George: oh nice. Thank you so much, bad_

_Badboyhalo: you’re welcome ^_^ <3_

He plugged in the earbuds he kept on the dresser beside his bed, tapping on Mr. Loverman on Spotify. The music began playing in his ear, easing his emotions a bit.

_I crack and out I poor_

It was a coincidence, really. The lyrics make him think of how much he wanted to talk about how he was feeling.

But again, he was just tired. 

_I’m shattered now I’m spilling out upon this, linoleum ground._  
I’m reeling in my brain again before it can get back to you.  
Oh what am I supposed to do without you?

He missed Clay, and the lyric made him realize just that. What was he supposed to do without Clay? 

“What what?” He asked himself. What was that supposed to mean? 

As the song ended, something just clicked inside his brain. 

This is the song Dream was humming. 

What a small world. George felt even more comforted knowing this was the exact song Dream hummed to him. Would he hold this song close to himself now?

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud bang, and he threw his earbuds out of his ear as he set up quickly.

_Bang!_ There it goes again. 

“George,” Leo grumbled on the other side, startling George enough for his eyes to widen. “Open this goddamn door.”

George started tearing up at the mere fear of what could happen to him. “Why?”

“So you can fucking know how mad I am for fucking locking me out, bitch,” Leo yelled, banging on the door once again. “You made me mad enough to break something, and you deserve to pay for that.”

“Then no! I won’t let you in,” George bit his lip to keep from sobbing.

“Yes you will, or else I’ll find a way and you’ll get it even worse,” Leo slurred, “I swear to you, if you don’t open this door.”

George walked up to the door, cautiously unlocking it. Leo threw the door open, almost hitting George with it. 

Leo kicked him in his legs, knocking him to the ground. He got on top of George pinning his bottom half to the ground. “What the fuck is wrong with you George? Locking me out of our room like that.”

George whimpered, trying his best to wiggle away, but he was just to weak. Naturally, he got a slap across the face. 

“You need to learn to listen to me,” Leo said, actually taking a punch to George’s face before getting up. “Get out of this fucking house.”

“But you dont-“ Another punch, but at his gut this time. He felt like he was about to vomit up whatever he didn’t get to earlier.

“I fucking will soon, I’m going to move in.” Leo pointed towards the door. “Get the fuck out.”

Sure, normally it would be nice for Leo to move in, but right now his hands were going sweaty at the thought of it. “Why?”

“Because you’re annoying me. Now go,” Leo said, glaring at him with sharp eyes. It was almost as if Leo eye’s had turned darker. Like he’d been some demon tearing away at his own soul and starting into George’s waiting for him to be next, it sent chills down his body.

“Okay,” George said before grabbing his phone and jogging out the door. He didn’t know what to do. 

It was cold as hell when he made it outside, shutting the door softly behind him in hoped it wouldn’t stir up anymore anger inside Leo. 

He knew he wouldn’t be able to sit there outside all night with nothing to do as the cold ate at his bones.

_Oh what am I supposed to do without you?_

It was risky, but George knew the only person who would help him most at that moment would be Clay, and he clicked the call button, seeing it ring before it went to voicemail. 

_“Hey, you’ve reached Dream. I’m probably playing Minecraft with my best friends right now, but I’ll call you back when I’m done, but if you want, leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEP-“_

George smiled at his normal voice mail every time he’d heard it. He didn’t hear it much, hence Clay always answered him so quickly. George just couldn’t help but think he was adorable when hearing the voicemail, and he’d have to push the thoughts away before they’d be too much.

His smile swiftly when back down when remembering why he had even called Clay.

“Hey, if you get this call me,” George said in a wavering voice after Clay’s voicemail came on. He said some more things, hoping just maybe Clay would see it.

Maybe even Clay didn’t want him.

George knew he wouldn’t be able to survive the cold, and he would somehow need to either negotiate with Leo or call someone to pick him up. 

Raphael was the best choice. 

He picked up immediately.

“Hey, George! I was just watching one of your old streams.” He let out a fond laughter. 

“Oh cool, so uh. Can you come pick me up and bring me there?” George said meekly. 

“Uhm—yeah, sure. Why?” 

“Well, I just—I just want to hang out,” George lied. He was faking a smile as if Raphael could even see.

“Really,” Raphael questioned after a moment of silence, his voice sounding smooth, “You do?”

“Yeah, I do. Now come pick me up, dummy,” George laughed as he heard Raphael hopping into his car. “Wait i need to give you my address—“

“I have it,” Raphael said, “Leo gave it to me.”

That’s strange. Why would Leo give Raphael his address, and why would Raphael need it in the first place?

“Oh, uhm,” George trailed off, “okay.”

Raphael had taken ten minutes to arrive. As he pulled up, George ran to the car, almost limping. And fuck, he had forgotten to put make up on to cover up what Leo had done to him. Hopefully he could just lie and say Alan did it.

Raphael watched him closely as he got into his car. “Hey—wait. Did Alan do that?”

George nodded, “Yeah, it didn’t really start doing that until today. I don’t know why it’s red now.”

“I’ll have to fix it up when we get to my place.”

...

Dream grumbled, groggily. He sat up, stretching since his back had been so stiff. 

Oh yeah, he was in Jasper’s car. Jasper was in the front seat, sitting on his phone. “Hey, sleepy head.”

Dream started pulling his pants and shirt back on, blinking at the sun shining through the windows. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Jasper recited, turning to him. “I had fun. Do you want my number.”

Dream chuckled. “Weird you ask that first thing, but yeah. I’ll take your number.”

Wouldn’t hurt. Right?

He promised himself he wouldn’t get hurt, or that this would be a friend thing. 

He knew George wasn’t his, but something about his feelings made him stop even thinking about having anything more with Jasper.

“Why do you look so worried?” Jasper asked, “you don’t need to worry, this can just be a sexual thing, if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah, but we can be friends to,” Clay said, “can you drive me home?”

“Of course, just as long as you text me when you get home.” 

“Sure thing,” Clay said.

Jasper started the car, and as they went by Clay plugged in his headphones and listened to some music, watching as the other cars whizzed by. 

“I love you so” by the Walters played, the lyrics making him drift off to the oh, so loving, George. 

When he’d gotten home, he had opened his phone, seeing that George had also voice-mailed him.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse this sort of dry chapter lol, I should actually be getting another out soon! I hope you guys like this, and thanks for all the love! It’s so greatly appreciated, and I adore each and every one of you.
> 
> Also, to let you know, the juiciness may come next chapter, as I may make it longer than normal! But it shouldn’t take long for me to get it out since I’ll have a break from school!


	13. Sand Castles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I told several people I would update sooner, but I got carried away and then was busy, so I made this at the crack of dawn when I woke up randomly because I write the best when sleep deprived.

  
Shit.

"Hey, if you get this call me," George's voice started, "Please I need you right now. I can't tell you why but I need you."

Clay's heart couldn't have fell farther, and he couldn't have called George back any faster. 

George didn't answer. Clay immediately texted him asking if he was okay, but he knew that George would never answer him when he wanted him to.

Clay felt a wave of guilt hit him, making his mood spiral down back to where it was before he ever chose to go the the bar.

He chose to go to that bar. He chose to drink. He chose to get drunk and have sex with Jasper. He chose to not answer that phone call when George needed him.

He stepped in his shower, washing all of the sweat and gross drunk odor off of himself. 

He tried not thinking about the voicemail, but he couldn't help but feel the self hatred trying to take over. He'd thought for a second the shower would help, like he could figuratively scrub off the pain and guilt, but that simply wasn't possible.

Clay had wondered why George didn’t go to Leo. 

He'd thought about how unfair it was that he'd come to Clay for help, but then spend the most time with his little boyfriend, but he shouldn't think that. Right?

He turned the shower off, dripping wet as he wrapped the tower around himself. He stood at the mirror, looking at his appearance.

He never was insecure, and he isn't. But what he saw was himself. He was not Leo.

He was not the one George loved. 

He walked away, scolding his own brain for thinking like that when the whole point of the day before was not to do just that. 

"Let's just let them be happy. Let George be happy." That's all he truly wanted, no matter how jealous he was.

...

Raphael opened the door to his house, letting George step into his house. 

It smelled like something. Like muffins, blueberry muffins.

"Muffins?" George asked, "they smell nice."

"Yeah I was—Uh just baking them while watching that stream," Raphael said, smiling, shuffling over to the oven to check on them.

"Do you like muffins?" He asked while taking them out. George was looking the room as he spoke. It was pretty modern, just a normal apartment. Nothing to special.

"Yeah," He said without thinking. 

"Why don't you have some with me? Oh, wait have you eaten dinner? I have some left over-"

"I ate dinner," George lied, playing with his hands as he spoke. 

Raphael faked a frown. "I wanted to have a date!"

Part of that sounded true. George laughed at the, so called, joke.

"Do you want a muffin?" Raphael asked, before biting into one and burning himself. He threw it down and let out a muffled "it's hot!"

"Not right now, not while it's burning," George said, watching as Raphael walked up to him slowly. Glints of admiration were in his eyes. 

"I can't believe you'd want to hang out with me," Raphael said it so earnestly that it had made George almost cringe. He brushed some hair out of George's face, biting his lip as he held his cheek.

"What are you doing?" George inquired, backing away a bit so that his hand was no longer touching him. 

"Oh sorry, I'm just overly affectionate with everyone. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable," Raphael's eyes where wide and his expression was defensive.

Oh. This was completely normal. Who was George to judge Raphael for being affectionate with his friends? "No you're fine. I wasn't too uncomfortable. I just wasn't expecting it."

"Is it okay if I'm affectionate with you, George?" It was the softness in his voice again that he had given that had made him see so friendly. If friendly was the correct word.

"Yes," he replied, "that's fine."

"So, what do you want to do while you're here. We can watch a movie. Play Minecraft?"

"We can do both, how about that? I'd like to get things off my mind anyway," George said, following Raphael to sit beside him on his living room couch.

When they had both decided on playing Minecraft first, Raphael turning it on on his Xbox and giving George a controller. The lights were turned off so that the bright like from the tv was the only thing lighting the room up. 

"I don't play on a controller much, but I know how. Do you want to try speed running?" George asked, looking over to Raphael who had been staring at him.

Raphael shifted his eyes back to the television, scratching his nose. "Uh... yeah. Let's do that."

"I'm not as good as Dream, but I can speed run. Do you like to speed run?" George was trying to start a conversation just to get away from his own mind. It was better than sitting there with his own thoughts.

"Yeah not really. You should teach me." Raphael smiled while turning to George as he was talking. "Also about Dream...did you two ever have anything?"

"Ever have anything? What do you mean?" George eye's squinted in confusion. 

"Like any relationship?"

"Oh no, never. Why?" George had never truly had someone other than a fan ask if he and Clay had anything. He didn't think their relationship was close enough to bring up questions like that from a non-shippers view.

"You two just seem so...I don't know. I think I'm over thinking it but he seems like he has a thing for you." 

A thing? George was wondering two things, why was is so difficult for Raphael to use the specific terms, but also, what made him think Clay had a thing for George. 

"He's just so flirty with you." 

"Don't say that," George said, "he's doing it as a joke. Please don't say that and get mad." 

"Get mad? Why would I get mad?" Raphael sat closer, his face drawn in concern. 

"Just forget it. Please," George tried to back away in fear but Raphael almost too gently grabbed his hand.

"What's wrong George?" Raphael questioned him, "do you think I'm jealous or something."

"No I-"

"Because I am." Raphael said, slowly moving his hands to grab George's scarred waist. He started to lean in slowly, acting as if he wanted to kiss.

"Stop. What?" George backed away, furrowing his eyebrows and staring at him. "What do you mean?"

"Oh it's because I'm jealous of how close you are," Raphael answered quickly, "I don't have close friends."

"Oh." 

'George not everyone is repulsed my your body like you are' Something had told him, 'He's affectionate. He isn't repulsed by you. That's a good thing.'

George sealed awkwardly. "Okay so now that we are in we need to get the basic stuff before we get ready to get stuff for the nether."

Raphael had listened closely while he talked, following his steps, even if George had lost him a couple of times,,he was learning fast. 

It was nice to finally have someone who listened. I 

"George I wanted to let you know that my sister went to the same school you did," Raphael had randomly brought up. "She said it was nice."

"Yeah it was." Wait...he knew where he went to school? "Wait you know where I went?"

"Oh yeah. I uh— saw it on the internet and uh— she told me," Raphael had told him.

"Oh," George never had really told anywhere where he had went to school tk on the internet. "Have you gone to school?"

“George, I’ve told you I’m doing school now.” 

“Shit sorry I forgot.”

Raphael frowned, “It’s okay, but yeah I’m majoring in veterinary. It’s pretty nice here.”

“Where do you go? The one near here?”

“Yes,” Raphael said. “I got a scholarship for it.”

“Wow. Heard it was pretty there, is it?” George liked talking to Raphael for the most part, he was kind and caring. He needed this.

“Yep, also, recently at my job I saw this piece of art that reminded me of you,” Raphael brought up.

“Reminded you of me? How so?”

“Well I don’t know, it was nice and pretty and it just gave me you vibes,” Raphael said while smiling. George stayed quiet, a little weirded out by the painting thing. He didn’t let it bother him too much, though. “I also saw this other painting too. It was abstract but it was so bad it looked like fucking cum stains.”

George started laughing, it was the squeaky laugh. “Cum stains?”

Raphael started laughing with him, glancing at him as he laughed. 

George knew he had to go home soon before he'd get in trouble for being out too long, and he told this to Raphael. 

"No please don't go if you don't have to," Raphael begged. He stood in George's space, and he was closer than ever to his face. "I want to be with you."

This crosses the line. "Why have you been-"

Raphael interrupted him with a kiss. 

A kiss. A fucking kiss. He fucking kissed him.

"Mnnfgh," George mumbled, pulling away as quick as he could. "What the fuck?"

Raphael kissed him. He only wanted George for that this whole time. George had to get away. He was dizzy from all of that day still, and trying to hold himself up was hard enough.

"I thought you wanted to hang with me right?" Raphael said, "you want me don't you?"

"No I never said— I have a boyfriend, Raph," George said, "I'm sorry."

George felt a little bad for him now. He had feelings for him and his friend was dating him, but it didn't sit right that he'd kiss his best friend's boyfriend like this. 

"Please don't tell Leo about this," Raphael said, "that would go bad for the both of us."

For the both of us? What the hell did he mean by that?

"For the both of us? No I think he'd be jealous and be mad at you, as he has a right to be. Why would I cheat on him with you?"

"With me? What's so wrong with me?" Raphael stepped closer, shaking his hand in a aggressive demeanor. 

"That's not how I meant it. I meant do you think I would ever just cheat on him like that. You're his best friend," George declared, "Also I need to go."

George left before he would feel any more nervous. Raphael had seem angry and defensive, but also guilty and aching by George’s words. He didn't want to be in that confusing argument again. He wasn't going to relive another argument similar to ones he had with Leo.

The street lights lit his body up as he walked away from Raphael's place. 

"George, wait, George. I'm sorry. At least let me take you home," Raphael yelled from the door of his apartment.

"No thanks I think I can walk." George kept his head handing down, trying to ignore Raphael before he grabbed him and held him tightly by the arm. 

"I've fucking had it. Listen to me, George. Let me be nice and take you home." Raphael begged him, loosening his grip only a tiny bit.

"Please stop I'm sorry-"

"What?-"

"Please stop I'm sorry you can take me home."

Raphael held his stern expression, but he let go.

They were on their way home, now talking and Raphael placed his hand onto George's thigh. 

"Will you hang out with me again George?" Raphael titled his head, "do you trust me. I help you."

"Maybe, yes." George felt as if he was going to pass out. He was tired and his body felt sore and fragile. One more day without food and he would probably pass out. 

George went to the door, seeing that everything was still off, it was in the morning but Leo was surely asleep or knocked out from being drunk. He’d have to get in himself. 

George unlocked the door with his own secret key, opening the door to the pure destruction that was now his place.

He didn’t even have pets, they all were at his mom’s, but ,God, did he miss them.

There was no way he’d be able to eat a lot, so he ordered the smallest thing he could manage. He ate is slowly, practically almost going back to the bathroom after every bite. He tried not to think about how mad Leo would be if he saw him eating, but there was no way he could keep stable without something.

Hours later, after sitting there and watching something to take his mind off his thoughts, He saw that he had missed calls from Clay. He might as well call him back, seeing as he was in enough shit for it to fly past Leo’s head that he possibly talked to Clay.

“George?” Was the first thing that came out of Clay’s mouth. “George are you okay? I’m so fucking sorry I was-“

“Dream, I’m fine now. I promise I’m okay. I was just tired and missed you at that moment.” George lied through his teeth. There was no way he was telling anyone anything. Not only would that not work, it would just kill him.

“Oh, well you worried me. Why didn’t you just go to Leo,” Clay sounded hurt, and there was a tinge of anger in his voice that made George feel guilty.

“He was asleep. I’m sorry that I called you and bothered you,” George said, “I won’t do it again.”

“No, you don’t need to say sorry. You didn’t bother me, George,” Clay confessed, “you could never.”

“How are you, Dream?”

“I’m fine. I just miss you,” Clay shuffled on the other side of the phone. “A lot.”

“Yeah me too. I’m sorry.”

“Why do you say sorry so much, it’s not your fault that you— that you want to hang out with your— with Leo.” Clay was stuttering, he was nervous. George could tell he was.

“I don’t know, habit I guess. Can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah of course. What is it?”

“Keep talking. Tell me of your day.” George said, laying down. He needed Clay’s voice, he needed the gentle loving tone that gave him chills. 

“Okay, well,” Clay cleared his throat after going silent for some time, “I got up, came here, and saw that you had called me. I tried to call you then I showered. Then you called me back. That’s basically it. It wasn’t very interesting,” Clay let out a dry laugh.

“Doesn’t sound very fun,” George said, “tell me your favorite things about the beach.”

Clay wheezed. “Why do you want me to do that?”

“I don’t know,” George said, he was tired again, he was bound to let out something he didn’t mean to say. “I like hearing your voice.”

Clay sounded like he passed out because of how long George could hear nothing coming from his end. “I like hearing yours too, George.”

His voice was so soft, gentle, and comforting. George couldn’t get enough. His heart was pounding like he hadn’t felt in a long time, and he was questioning why his body was acting this way. He was probably just tired. “Go on tell me.”

“My favorite things are building sand castles with my family. Me and my sister would build these huge sand castles, and then jump all over them before we left. I also liked riding the waves, especially when the sun is setting or at night. It’s really peaceful to be out there during those times, in the water or not,” Clay rambled on, letting himself talk so that George would get to hear his voice, “I like sitting out there sometimes, but I haven’t in a while.”

“You should, if you like it so much,” George told him, voice sounding tired. “You should say hi to the jellyfish for me. Beaches are great.”

“I’ll have to go down soon, but I keep forgetting. And you like the beach?”

“I don’t go much, but it’s nice to see everything, I love walking on the beach late in the evening.” 

“That’s so cliche, George, but I do too. I should bring you to the beach when you come down there,” 

When he came down there. George was sure he wasn’t going to come down there anytime soon. When was a strong word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback or corrections are always welcomed! Thank you all so much for the support. I genuinely enjoy seeing you guy like it so much. Calling this your favorite fic always baffles me because I never hear people do that to something I love writing so much, it’s so amazingly strange as it is sweet. And for some reason there are some people here from tiktok that came here so fast in a little pack lol, but I love seeing everyone here! I thank you all so much.


	14. HOTLINES

Please, call these for yourself or any friends or family who may be going through things like this:

1-800-799-SAFE (NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE)

1-800-931-2237 (NATIONAL EATING DISORDERS ASSOCIATION HELPLINE)

1-800-656-4673 (NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE)

If any of these are wrong, please feel free to add on or correct me!!


	15. Save Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sleep deprived. It’s 4 in the morning guys but oh my god this chapter was a lot.
> 
> Please stay safe while reading. This is a warning.

"I should bring you to the beach when you come down there. Maybe I would save you from the bad things," Clay had said to George, expecting a good reaction when bringing it up. George, however, just offered almost nothing in return.

"I think I should go," George told him. Clay was beginning to think he said too much. That maybe he went to far when talking about George coming to Florida. 

"Wait George. I'm sorry for saying that—"

"No, no. I am not this way because you brought it up. Its just that I can't go and see you," George finally said as he sighed loudly, "I want to but I just can't."

"Why not?"

"I just don't think I can right now. I think need to go right now, though."

His voice was shaky, it was worrying Clay. He definitely crossed the line. But really, what was this unspoken line? He'd brought it up before, what's wrong with now?

"What I--" 

"I'll talk to you later," George said before abruptly hanging up. Clay huffed and set his phone down. Of course, he felt displeased. He finally had a nice conversation with George that had been moderately long, but now he's bailing on him again. 

Only if he knew, just how important these moments were to Clay. Just how hearing his voice made him feel. Now he was gone from him again. He had left Clay again just for some God forsaken reason.

This made him think George didn't like him as much anymore. That now he could see how much better Leo was for him and left them for him. Of course, George tolerated him, but what if it was only to make him feel better?

He wouldn't say anything, not wanting George to feel guilty for just leaving. He could have had a good reason to hang up like that, and it would be very nice of Clay to jump to all of the bad conclusions that just made George seem like a bad person.

Clay's thinking about it too much again, he needed to get rid of the sober thoughts.

He calls Jasper.

"Hello," Jasper's voice picked up.

"Hey, uh," Clay began, "It's Clay."

"Oh! Hey Clay. I knew you'd text me but I didn't expect you to call," Jasper said, "How are you?"

Clay laughed at his surprise. He felt a little guilty using him for his own happiness, but that was the point of their relationship, wasn't it?

"I'm sorry if I bothered you it's just, I was thinking we could meet up again later? I'm really bored right now and I wanted to talk so..."

"Yeah sure? I could come to yours at 8 this evening? How does that sound?" Jasper offered.

"Sounds good. What are you up to?" Clay started, he wanted to make some type of small talk. He had Jasper on his mind now, but there wasn't that relief that he expected to get from this.

"Just at work. You?" 

"I just finished talking to my friend and now I have nothing to do. I just thought I would call you." Clay began to fix up his house for later, taking a mental note to buy the things they'd need.

Clay cleared his throat in a stiff manner. "Do you want me to order food for tonight and maybe get some other stuff to do or is this just going to be—ya know?"

Jasper laughed heartedly. "You can order dinner, but I assure you you don't have to worry about dates or anything like that. I have my eyes on someone."

"Oh really? Me too," Clay smiled, happy to know that their relationship wouldn't be going to far, "Tell me about them."

"Clay, why do you care?"

"I don't know. We have something to relate to. Talk about them."

"Well," Jasper trailed off before taking again, "They're really cool. They're my friend, Finn, I met at college a few months ago and I don't know, we just clicked? Sounds pretty douche-y, but I really like them. They might like me back, but we're not even that close and they're so fucking oblivious."

"You're telling me? Try having a crush on your long-term best friend. He has no idea," Clay laughed, "and hey get this, he has a fucking boyfriend."

"Ugh," Jasper cringed, "that's harsh. Don't worry. Plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. You're a very nice guy, so I wouldn't doubt you could find someone else."

"I've heard that too many times to count. I just can't find someone else to commit to," Clay said, "not romantically at least. Trust me I wish I could."

"I'm sorry, but hey let me make you forget about it tonight. Okay?" 

Clay knew it was unhealthy that he was having sex to cope, but it was better than nothing. Way better than sitting there with his feelings. "Okay."

...

Clay had been sitting on his couch, scrolling though his phone while in a dull mood, when he had gotten a knock on his front door. He excitedly walked to the door and opened it, seeing that it was Jasper.

Jasper was wearing a royal blue sweater, along with some black jeans. His hair was messier than when Clay saw him at the bar, standing up in the right places. 

Jasper looked him up in down at his outfit, which had been a short sleeve button up and jeans (the top buttons weren't buttoned. Dream wanted it to look less fancy...he saw it on Instagram...)

"You look good!" Jasper told him as he walked in, looking around curiously. He sat down a bag Clay didn't notice he had been holding until just then, "Woah, your house is really nice. What do you do?"

"Computer stuff," Clay replied. He really didn't want to expose what he did, just in case Jasper would treat him differently. He thought he possibly could tell him the truth later.

"Huh," Jasper said, "what did you order to eat."

"I haven't ordered much yet. I was waiting to see what you wanted," Clay explained, "I'm good with whatever."

"Me too, but I think I want sushi. How does that sound to you?"

"Well, I actually haven't tried sushi before. I mean, I've tried Walmart sushi, but of course, that really didn't go well." Clay let out a laugh. 

"Guess I'll be getting to watch you try it then, I'll order my favorite and you can get the same thing."

They were sitting on the couch now, letting loose of all of awkwardness that comes from first minutes of meeting up. They were close, legs touching and arms brushing when their hands would move around.

Clay wondered what it would be like if it was a George instead. He knew George wouldn't be there mainly to drink and make out. It would be more than that. Way more.

He would be so much easier to talk to, and Clay would know what he wanted to do. If George allowed it, he would kiss him until they both couldn't breathe anymore.

But he had to remember, the point was that this was not George. This was Jasper. If Clay would have to beat that into his own scull then he surely would. He would repeat it, making sure that when he was done that there was no room for thoughts about George.

"I know this sounds boring but I got some movies to watch, and if you want I have a wii on this TV so we could play anything."

"I doubt it will be boring, Clay. You have nothing to worry about," Jasper assured. 

Jasper and Clay negotiated on where the would order, getting it and waiting for it to get there. Meanwhile, they sat and talked, already sharing a couple of drinks that Jasper had brought. Clay was probably tipsy now, while Jasper was certainly drunk.

"This is taking to long," Jasper said before leaning in to kiss Clay's jawline, "I need something to do to pass the time."

Clay laughed as Jasper's lips brushed against his skin, "Me?"

Jasper chuckled again. He went for Clay's lips this time, slowly and teasingly kissing him to leave him wanting more. 

If it was George, he would have left softer kisses, ones that made him want to stay in the moment forever.

Goddamnit, maybe he would have to knock some since into himself. 

Jasper kept kissing him before Clay took control and kissed him harder. It wasn't too rough, but he needed it to be less soft. He craved something far from what would remind him of George.

There was a knock on the door, making both of the men jump. Clay got up, getting the food and paying despite Jasper's offer to pay himself. 

They had sat together at Clay's table, and the attention was solely on Clay trying the food. 

He liked it. It tasted good, and he marked it off on the list of trying George's favorite things, which he hadn't wanted to make a list of until now. 

After they ate, they played a couple rounds of Mario Kart, which Clay was rusty on. His ego didn't enjoy seeing Jasper win a couple of times, and he rubbed it in his face saying, "Let's go! This is so easy!" every chance he got.

They were both drunk by the time they stopped. They skipped all of the other plans, due to it being pretty late and they were too drunk to care about anything but touching.

They were on the couch, Jasper laying on top of Clay in the almost pitch black of the living room. Their kisses were hard now, lustful and lacking of full passion, but they both knew that's how they wanted it.

He didn’t think of George when he and Jasper harshly pushed their bodies together until they reached their high.

...

"You should know better," Leo scolded, regarding everything that has happened in the last day or so, "I've told you not to do these things, yet you go and do them. Have I not been good to you lately?"

George gritted his teeth. He had been pushed down on the couch with his boyfriend pinning him down. He was placed that way after Leo walked in on him calling Dream. "Look, look. I'm sorry I know. I'll make it up to you."

"Look at this house, you see it? I did that because you decided to lock me out of the fucking room. Now you can go clean it up and we can discuss why the hell you called Dream when I told you that you shouldn't talk to him."

Leo let him get up. George look around the house. Things were misplaced and thrown on the ground. He'd even ripped a couple of George's clothes. It made George flush with fury. Leo had threw a tantrum only because George had been scared. He was like a fucking toddler.

"You know, maybe if you wouldn't destroy my shit, I wouldn't go against your wishes," George snapped his mouth closed. He had not expected that to come out of his mouth, but he continued, beginning to unleash what he had been thinking that whole time, "and maybe if you had just listened to me and then made me leave, then I wouldn't have gone to Dream."

He had started to regret saying anything once he was punched straight in the eye. "You think you can talk like that to me? Do you want me make you leave this house again, George?"

George held his eye. It was doubtlessly going to leave a mark, and there was know way makeup could cover up. If he planned to stream any time soon, he surely would not be able to have the face cam on without sparking up worries. He hoped to God Raphael and Megan, if he would even get to see her soon, would take his excuses. He couldn't show them how pathetic he was, or how he simply was just a jerk who deserved everything he got coming to him.

"Don't you ever try talking back to me like that, you prick. No one ever taught you manners?" Leo angrily trailed off before talking again in almost a whisper, "Do it again and next time I'll do something worse than that."

That definitely gave George a motive not to do that again.

Leo sat on the couch, crossing his large arms and watching George start to pick everything up. "I'll explain why I'm so done with you when you get done cleaning everything the fuck up."

It had been a couple of minutes of silence, and George's heart plummeted when he hear Leo scoff, "Did you fucking eat without my permission?"

George knew it would be worse if he lied. "Yes. I'm sorry. I just needed it before I got too nauseous."

"Do you think I care? You need to learn self control."

_Yes. That's true. You're hideous yet you still manage to fuck up your eating habits. You do need self control,_ George told himself. He tried to convince himself that maybe it was a good thing that he ate, but there was no use. Leo and his thoughts dominated the others, and George thought that maybe that's the way it should be.

"You're just getting worse and worse. Why are you like this to me? No one is ever going to date someone who doesn't ever do what they say. I'm sure I will be the only one to ever love you," Leo snickered. "You are going to get it."

_You deserve it. You're an awful boyfriend._

George could not afford to be more sore. "Please, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me," He repeated that more than once, anticipating the effect to be more positive.

"Don't think you're gonna get away with this," Leo said after clicking his tongue. George knew that this was not going to be good. Not at all.

He was tiding everything up, getting even more sad when seeing that some of his favorite things were ripped too. He earned it. Afterall, he was the bad boyfriend. He was the one who deserved the bad treatment.

Once he was done, he walked up next to Leo who was still on the couch. "Now what did you and Dream talk about?"

"Isn't that supposed to be private?"

_You don't deserve privacy._

"You're the one that called him when I told you not to," Leo retorted. He patted the seat next to him, indicating that he wanted George to sit there.

George sat down, far away as he can, not to mention. "I don't know. It was mostly small talk about the beach and stuff."

"You said something about not being able to go somewhere. Did he want you to come down?"

"I mean not really, it was more of just talking about me--"

Leo stomped his foot hard, startling George enough to get him to stop talking. "It's a yes or no answer, George. Did he want you to visit him or not?"

George let out the breath he had been holding. "Yes."

"Thank you for saying you won't be going, because I definitely don't want you to. At least you have done something right," Leo said, pulling George by the hips closer to him, "I love you. I might be very mad, but I have the right to be. I still love you, though."

George didn't once look Leo in the eye, causing him to lift his chin up. Leo looked at him with an impatient glare, obviously wanting him to say it back.

George bit his lip. "I love you too."

Leo kissed him, gripping his sides harhly while George sat there and let him do what he wanted. 

George pulled away for a second. "I have a question."

"Was it important enough to stop?"

"Yes," George replied shortly, "where did you go after you—after I left the house."

"I went to the bar with my friends, I needed to get a break from the house. I needed them to take what happened off of my mind," Leo explained, "and they want to hang out with us tomorrow at."

George nodded. Leo hadn't brought up much, and he had hoped he forgot about the other things.

He didn't. "What all did you eat?"

"It was something small," George looked around the room passively, "I promise I will make up for it."

"Okay, well if you cheat on your diet again, I'll be really disapointed," Leo told him as he began to kiss his neck. It was making George's head swim with confusion. Why was he kissing him if he was so mad? Why was he doing all of this while trying to physically please him? Why right now and not the other times he terrified George. 

But to be honest, this was more terrifying. It was like he lit a fuse, and was just waiting for it to slowly go out and then explode. 

"Are you still mad at me about locking you out of the room?" 

Leo nodded in respond as he started sucking on the skin under George's jaw. George let out a sigh before pushing him away and giving him a quick kiss. "I'm not in the mood right now. I'm sorry."

Leo groaned, "Why baby?" He went back to his neck, but George pulled away too quickly.

"I just dont want to. We can later, yeah?" George was trying to reassure him, hoping maybe that will convince him to stop.

Leo pushed him off of his lap harshly. He stood up, grabbing George by the neck. "You know, I was going to let you off the hook, regardless of all you've done, but you don't even want to cooperate with me."

George grabbed the hands around his throat. He coughed as Leo let go and slapped him, taking a blow to his already sore ribs when the rest of him was vulnerable. George fell over onto the couch. 

Leo left him there.

He felt so useless lying there. He felt so week, and he had never felt this way before. It's like Leo was sucking him dry of all the strength and happiness, but George didn't blame him for that. George was already weak and the said strength was just waiting for someone to come expose it. It was waiting for someone to knock it off guard, and that someone was Leo. 

George hated being like this. He was so easy to destroy. He was never going to be good enough, not ever.

...

It was the morning, and Leo was grumpily leading him out of the house to go see his friends again. He had apologized verbally about hurting him, but something about the way his eyes were still filled with the same anger from yesterday told George that maybe he wasn't sorry, and that maybe he didn't deserve an apology. 

George was scared, really scared of seeing his friends again. He hadn't seen any of them since the last time they were at the parking lot. George hated it, he hated being so terrified. He hated that there was this burning pile of anxiety in his chest that was impossible to put out. 

He had sat beside the pool, letting everyone do their own thing together as he sat there alone. He hugged his exposed legs, which were showing because of his swim trunks, to his chest. He hated them. He hated how everyone could see how unhealthy he was. He knew they were judging him.

“Hey, George, why don’t you get in?” Alan called, voice teasing. 

George shook his head hard. He did not feel like getting close to them, not then.

“No?” Alan asked.

Hesitantly, George replied. “No.”

Alan grinned a wide annoyingly big grin, it was almost evil. Actually, it was already evil. 

“Are you sure?”

George rolled his eyes. “Yes I’m sure.”

“I don’t think you have a choice,” He said, walking as fast as he could through the water and up to George, who frantically tried to get up after he realized what Alan was coming up to him for.

Alan grabbed his leg, pulling him in. His skin scrapped in the concrete as he was dragged. Alan laughed as he hugged him from the side, patting him on his back before letting him go. “See its fun in here isn’t it.”

George walked away, tucking his head low and holding his arms. 

“Why don’t you go under like we did? Don’t like getting your face in the water?” Alan grabbed him again, not letting him get away this time.

Alan didn’t seem to get enough out of him already. It made George want to yell at him, tell him to stop through hurt screams, but it wouldn’t happen. He wasn’t strong enough, and something told him that he shouldn’t try, that he should just let Alan do what he wanted. 

Alan had let him go again, making George confused. But then, he grabbed his head by his hair and he pushed him down, plunging him underwater. 

George tried to push up, but it was no use. Alan was too strong. George cursed at the fact he was even more exhausted and weak because of his food habits. Alan was skinny, and he had little to muscle. On a normal day, George could over power him, but George was too small and too tired. He had no want to fight back.

Alan left him under for a couple of seconds before pulling him back up. George’s clogged ears could still hear everyone’s laughter. It was cruel, the way they thought it was some kind of joke and the way that the only one not laughing sat quietly and watched as Alan pushed him under again, this time with the help of Jake.

The water was uncomfortably going up his nose, making him want to breathe it in to just get everything to stop. He started sobbing, hopping maybe they would find it less amusing to see that he didn’t think it was funny, but they continued to do it.

Alan pulled him up the last time and patted his back firmly and then finally they left him alone. They surprisingly didn’t care when he pulled himself out of the pool. He was crying as quietly as he could as he shivered helplessly.

He felt so fragile, and that if one more thing were to happen that he would completely fall apart.

He had stayed quiet, watching everyone else do their thing as he avoided them. The last person he had wanted to talk to was the one who didn’t help, regardless of choice.

Raphael didn’t say anything as he held out his hand, letting George grab it and get himself up. He guided him to the bathroom, getting out the bandaids from a few days ago and patching up scratches before giving George Leo’s hoodie and a towel. 

George dried himself off as he sulked silently. He put on Leo’s hoodie, who he really hated right now. But he knew it wasn’t Leo’s fault that his friends were this way. Maybe Leo didn’t know he wasn’t laughing like he was. 

"Hey," Raphael said after a while of sitting there and letting George calm down, eyes twisted in something that looked like concern and hope, "I'm sorry about yesterday, George. I didn't mean to come on you like that."

George didn't say anything back, Raphael had made him uncomfortable. He was hugging his arms to his stomach, which had been feeling bloated that day. It was covered up by Leo's hoodie, but he couldn't stand the feeling of his damp stomach touching the air.

"Look, I said I'm sorry," Raphael huffed, having an unexpected jolt in his voice. He was annoyed. “Do you forgive me or not?”

George still didn't speak, but he nodded, letting Raphael know he was forgiven. Raphael didn't seem to accept that though, because he assertively stepped closer to him.

"You hold grudges?" Raphael asked.

George took one step back.

"Then why haven't you left Leo yet?”

George's eyebrows scrunched. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Why can you forgive him for that, but not me, George?" Raphael snarled, getting even closer. By now their noses were close to touching and George’s back was close to being pushed against the wall, "You don't think I know where you got that black eye from? You know he was laughing as they tried to down you, right? He doesn't love you, but you forgive him?"

George was bound to throw up. With Raphael's toxicity and the words repeating in his brain that he had already known that Leo was hurting him, he felt sick. 

Why didn't Raphael just leave him alone? Or at least turn to hurting him too? George thought that he should just he hurt him just like everyone else. No doubt he would hurt him too if he found out how bad of a boyfriend he was. 

George didn't really know if Leo hurting him was good or bad, but it was a fact that he always did something for him to do it. 

And now, Raphael knew that.

"Speak," Raphael demanded.

"I forgive you," George finally said, "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner."

Raphael grinned, only backing away a little bit, but he was still close enough to reach out and brush George's bruised and scarred arm with his finger tips. "Thank you. You're so sweet to me, George." 

Raphael ran his fingers along George's waist, grabbing it and pulling his back when George tried to get away. 

"I love you," Raphael whispered while staring directly at George's chapped lips. He leaned in, stealing a quick kiss from him.

That alone made George feel sick again. Raphael was a disease, one that didn't strike until now. One that waited until he was vulnerable for it to take over all at once.

"No," George said before Raphael could kiss him again. 

Raphael kept him there easily even with George's wiggling. 

"Shut the fuck up. I helped you, you ungrateful bitch. If you tell anyone anything then I will tell Leo that we have kissed. Now that wouldn't be good, would it? We don't need any more bruises on that pretty body of yours, now do we?" Raphael was threatening him, his hands burning through him as he harshly forced even George closer, looking him up and down as he said the last part.

George let out a loud sob as he nodded, not fighting back when Raphael kissed him long and hard. He even started kissing his neck, sucking harshly and unmercifully on his skin. He continued for a bit before he decided he had enough and left George in the bathroom to fall defeated to the floor and cry.

_“I could protect you from the bad things,” Clay said._

_Then where was he now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that was a long chapter. I am happy with it. It took me a while, so constructive criticism and feedback is welcome, as well as any add on! As I always say. 
> 
> I enjoy receiving all the comments! I love getting them. They make my day even if they’re something little! I always appreciate them. Thank you for everything :)
> 
> Ily! Have a great day if you’re reading this note. <3


	16. Glass Bottles and Chocolate Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Thanks for the support as always :)

Clay woke up on his couch, lying sideways with his long legs sticking out. Jasper was in his arms, body heating up his own almost-stripped-down body along with the small blanket draped over the both of them. Jasper was still asleep, so Clay moved him gently and got up to go to the bathroom to get something for his headache. The cold air surrounded him, making him shiver, since he had only been in his boxers. 

He sleepily walked around, trying to find something comfortable to wear and putting it on. When he checked his phone, he saw that he had many missed texts from Nick, showing his concern about him never answering. Clay never meant to never reply to him, he was too distracted and hung up on George and Jasper to look at any other notifications.

_Sapnap: ay  
Sapnap: dream_

Nick had sent that same message ten times before finally switching up his words, obviously annoyed that Clay hadn't been answering him. 

_Sapnap: dude  
Sapnap: where are you? you better not leave me hanging  
Sapnap: :(_

_Sapnap: dude its been like, over 8 hours where are you. George isn't answering me either. as usual  
Sapnap: answer meeee_

_Sapnap: im very mad at you dude  
Sapnap: you haven't answered in more than a day_

_Sapnap: call me when you finally decide to answer >:(_

Clay groaned as he hit Nick's contact and called him. 

"Dream!" Nick literally yelled in his ear.

"I'm sorry, I’m sorry. I was busy," Clay apologized, biting his tongue in hopes that Nick wouldn't ask him what _exactly_ he was busy doing. He really couldn't just tell him, _oh yeah I was too busy drinking and having sex to answer you, even though I ignored all notifications except the ones from George._

"Busy with what? going to bars?" Nick asked, "Don't think I wouldn't find out. Tommy told me. But I don't think you were just going to bars, care to tell me what else you were doing?"

 _Goddamnit screw that child,_ Clay cursed.

He decided to be blunt. "I uh, I was kind of getting laid," Clay laughed dryly.

"Oh," Nick muttered, "why didn't you message any of us, didn't you have time?"

It's not that Clay _necessarily didn't_ have time between calling Jasper then having him come to his house, but he was too busy being miserable over George, carried away thinking about the conversations they had that day. 

“I did but uh," Clay stuttered, "I just couldn't"

"You're forgiven, but don't do that again, dipshit. I do want to know why you were drinking, though."

"You're so nosy Sapnap! I just wanted to drink," Clay whined, that was partially the truth, but the main reason was as obvious as it was dreadful. He drank because he felt _depressed,_ but Nick didn’t have to know that. 

"Fine. You don't have to tell me," Nick grumbled, but it was clear he was serious. Clay knew he wouldn't force him into saying anything, but that didn't make him feel any less pressured.

Nick was too nice, and Clay felt bad for what he was about to lie about. "So you haven't talked to George?"

"No," Nick answered, "he's still AWOL for me."

Clay pretended to huff. "I wonder what's up with him."

"He's just crazy in love, wouldn't you know?"

Clay wanted to laugh at that, but it was the bitter truth and, _oh,_ it hurt.

"I- shut up," Clay rolled his eyes, "Wouldn't stop talking to my friends for him, though."

"You did for whoever you had sex with," Nick retorted. Nick didn't know it wasn't about Jasper, and that was making Clay realize that he did, in fact, stop talking to others because of George, but that was only because he was worried. That's his justification, because who was he to ignore Nick for a crush? 

"Okay maybe I would— but not as much," Clay stated, "Should I stream? I know I haven't done much for the fans in the past few days, maybe I could see if George wanted to come?"

“If he decides to answer," Nick laughed at his own joke, "and it wouldn't hurt to stream."

"I'll stream," Clay concluded, "Let me just tweet then try and call George first."

**@Dream **  
Hey guys, I know I haven't been on social media recently and you guys miss me. I'm going to stream in 30 minutes. Sapnap and George might come :)****

********

As usual, the replies to his tweet came quick, most of them worried about why he was gone and the others hyped about the stream. 

********

********

**@LiamRayyy **replied to your tweet  
George is busy.****

************ ** **

Clay squinted. Why would Leo decide whether George was busy or not? And why the hell would he tweet that. 

************ ** **

“This dude,” Clay could practically hear Nick shake his head as he said that. 

************ ** **

**@Dream **  
I think I’ll ask him about that.****

**************** ** ** ** **

Clay knew it would look bad that he was just about having a twitter fight with his best friend's boyfriend, but he didn’t care. This dude already took up enough of George’s time. He didn’t have a right to decide if George was going to be busy or not.

**************** ** ** ** **

“Dream you shouldn’t have done that, what if the fans think somethings going on?” 

**************** ** ** ** **

**@LiamRayyy **replied to your tweet  
He doesn’t feel well****

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Oh,” Clay said out loud, “Well I guess George isn’t going to join us,” He sighed. He knew George didn’t feel well enough to join, but he couldn’t help but feel upset. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Something told him George wasn’t sick like Leo had indicated. And that made him mad. He was hoping that he was thinking too far into it.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Once he had started the stream, he took some time with his fans to answer their questions and just to talk to them since he really had missed him. Some of them asked about the conversation with Leo on twitter, but he ignored them.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He forgot that Jasper was still at his place until he heard the door open and a raspy voice speak, “Clay? What are you doing?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He quickly muted and took off his headset before anyone could hear more, “Oh, hey, I forgot you were here. I am just playing a game with friends.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Jasper chuckled, sitting on his bed across from his setup, “Can I join?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

No way fans could find out that he was in some relationship with someone, and it being with a man, whether they knew it was sexual or not. He knew they had mostly accepted George for his sexuality, but he just couldn’t do it. He had more people he would have to come out to, and a lot of his fans would not take that as well as George’s did, even with how big gay ships were. There were a lot of mean people out there who wouldn’t let him live that down. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“No sorry,” Clay said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I think I just want to hang out only with my friend.” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

That was an awful lie, but Clay had no idea what else he could say that could be believable. “Is this the friend you’re in love with?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Clay almost choked on his own saliva. Jasper was smiling in a teasing way, making Clay feel a little flustered. “No, No. I just think you should go.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Huh,” Jasper huffed. He had almost seemed offended, “I understand.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He left Clay’s room, and it wasn’t long after Clay was left there stunned when he heard his front door close. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He definitely fucked something up. He quickly took his phone out and began texting Jasper a quick “I’m sorry I’ll explain later, I just was trying to keep my identity safe.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He went to unmute himself, only then hearing Nick’s calls as he placed his headphones back on.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Dream?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Shit I’m sorry. I uhh- that was just my friend.” Clay tried to clear things up, but obviously people have their suspicions, and the chat was going crazy.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“That friend?” Nick asked, basically begging for Clay to come to Texas and strangle him. He wished he could reach across the screen and just do it.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“No,” Clay’s voice was sharp, “Let’s stop talking about it and I’ll get back to speed running.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

...

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Leo was at work while George was there by himself at his house, drearily trying to find something to do, but all he could do is lie in bed and ponder what happened the day before. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Well, he tried not to think about it, yet no matter how much he forced his brain to drift somewhere else, it always went back to Raphael. How Raphael knew about his and Leo’s relationship and how he threatened him so that he could meet his own needs. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He saw the tweet of Clay and Leo talking to each other, watching as Leo told everyone a lie about how he was too busy to stream with them and that he was sick. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

It was a good thing that he didn’t want to join anyway. He couldn’t carry on letting them see him this way. _They didn’t really want him there anyway. They were only doing that as a joke._

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

_That wasn’t true,_ he thought, _they do want him there. You know they aren’t like that._

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He sighed, rolling around in his bed. He had to get up and do something. He needed to get Raphael out of his head. Raphael, without question, was infecting his brain, yet George still scolded himself for feeling that way when Raphael didn’t even go that far. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

_But he went far enough for him._

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George had trusted him, and he was the only one out of all of his boyfriend’s friends that actually showed him kindness, at first. Of course, for George, kindness came at a price. It just seemed to come that way for him frequently. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He walked around his house, desperate to find something to get the events from the day before off of his already exhausted mind. He sat down on his couch after grabbing something to eat. It was a small portion, but the argument in his mind about even touching made him feel _just plain sick_ as he ate it. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He was there thinking how Leo had called him out of the bathroom soon after Raphael left stranded him there. He had asked what he had been doing in there for so long, only being answered with “I don’t know. It was just too cold out there.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

It was in the middle of the day when he had eaten more than he’d expected, threw it all up, and right after received a phone call from Leo. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Hey babe,” Leo greeted, “What are you doing?” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Not much, why’d you call me?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Can I not call you? I wanted you to do something for me,” Leo said, tone sounding pissed off. It made George feel tingles of uneasiness crawl up his spine. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“What is it?” He asked.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I need you to weigh yourself. So we can see how far you have gotten.” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George was fucked, he definitely shouldn’t have eaten. He was smart enough to know he was probably bloated from eating more than he had wanted to and then throwing it up.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I-- Okay, what amount should it be,” George asked as he walked to the bathroom where the scale was sitting in the corner. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Tell me what you get and then I’ll answer that for you,” He said. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He did as he was told. He was 145 lbs, which was down over ten pounds from the last time he had checked his weight. Still, he wasn’t going to give himself credit, hence that had been about a month ago. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I’m 145,” He said, words coming out slowly. He was looking down at his body, cringing. To him, It was revolting, and he deemed to get rid of all of it. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He wanted nothing more than to cut off the parts he didn’t like, to burn them until he was down to the boney appearance he thought was desirable. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Really?” Leo asked angrily, “Have you been eating without my permission?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“No,” George replied as quick as he could, “I wouldn’t go against your wishes again. I swear I learned from last time.” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He could risk lying, but if Leo found out he would be outraged with George. Luckily, George had his hoodie, and there would be no way he would find out if George hid it well enough. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

The fear of Leo’s reaction made him believe he was nearing a panic attack, and to make it worse, he was _still_ retracing the past few days in his head. He wished Clay was there to help him, and he wouldn’t deny that thought anymore. He could no longer reject the fact that he wanted to call him and have him sing Mr. Loverman to him. Something about the way he hummed it before made him constantly have it stuck to his brain. He longed going back to that one night so that he would able to hear it for the first time again.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“145 isn’t good enough,” Leo stated before abruptly hanging up the phone, tone incomprehensible. It left George troubled and confused, not knowing what mood Leo was going to come home in. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George stood there staring at the numbers, words floating through his head that _nothing_ he could do was good enough. He just wanted to please Leo, and did not feel like suffering the consequences of not doing it. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

And there he was, probably just standing there waiting to suffer them. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He walked back to the living room, leaving the scale, very disappointed in himself. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

It was about thirty minutes later when he heard the door being thrown open, sounding very aggressive. He saw Leo walking up to him with his hands in fists, causing him to sink down into the couch in fear. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“What is it with you?” Leo had him by the neck of his sweater, fists clenched in the dirty fabric. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I’m sorry,” George’s voice was hoarse and small, “I didn’t do anything for my weight to be that bad. I promise.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You think I can trust you?” Leo rasped, dropping him and looking around the house to see the shape it was in, “I don’t think I can, not after I told you to do all this shit and you just went and did it anyway. I trusted you not to talk to Dream or any other of your stupid friends, but look, all of that is from me because of what you did. Do I need to fucking do it again?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George shook his head, looking down and away from Leo. “No. You can trust me.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You sure,” Leo said, walking up to him with a sinister smile like he knew he was right, “then what is this?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Leo was pulling down his sweater and pointing to a bruise. George gasped at the bruise—hickey— on the side of his neck. He didn’t realize he had it until Leo had rubbed it with his thumb. It made him think of when he received it and He froze up before looking up at the smirk Leo sported. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Did I do this? Or did your little boyfriend from Florida come over here and do it? You think he would be better than me?” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“It--It’s not from Dream. That’s stupid. It’s from--” He cuts himself off.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

_“If you tell anyone anything then I will tell Leo that we have kissed, that wouldn’t be good, would it? We don’t need to see any more bruises on that pretty body of yours, now do we?”_

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Yes it’s from you,” He finally gets out, swallowing nervously.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Good,” Leo said, “You know if I ever found out someone else was with you, I would be very angry, you know that right?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Leo let him go after George shook his head yes, dropping him to the couch.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George watched as he walked up to the little island in the kitchen, pointing at a glass bottle on it. “Did you ever even fucking clean this house?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George flinched. “I did! I did! I promise.” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Leo stomped up to him, bottle in hand. He raised it, causing George to instinctively cover his head. Leo grabbed his arms, pulling them away before smashing it on his head. It was thin enough to shatter there and not to knock him out. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George cried out, grabbing his head. “Leo what the fuck.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He said nothing, leaving out of the door, having George sit there with his bleeding and aching head. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

The aching was bad enough for George to start looking for something to numb it, and after finding nothing, he left the house, heading for the drugstore. It was a long walk, but if he had a chance to get out of that place, he took it.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He opened the door of the store, seeing Megan at the front, her familiar, soft features making him feel a little bit more comfortable. He went up to her, and when she finally looked away from the customer, who was now looking at him weirdly, her mouth flew open. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“George,” Her voice was high and full of concern, making George almost cry in front of everyone there. “What the hell happened to you?” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I,” George trailed off before continuing as the person who was originally checking out finished, “Nothing you need to worry about. I promise I’m okay.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Are you sure?” She asked, getting up to him after leaving from behind the table. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

She shook her head in disappointment when he said he was sure. She pulled him to the back, grabbing things along the way to help his bleeding. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Thank you,” He said, smiling a little for the first time in a while. It felt good to be near Megan, and even if they haven’t talked much, he loved a lot about her.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“It’s not a problem, baby,” She said, her sweet southern accent drawing out her words. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He wanted to talk to her more, get to know her even. “How is your day so far?” He asked as she was washing the blood off of his forehead. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“It was good, and I’m not gonna ask how yours was because I know it wasn’t good, and you’d answer with ‘I’m okay’ anyway. But George, is that really true? You need to go to someone if you keep getting hurt like this.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He hummed. “Sorry, but it’s fine, no one does this to me anyway, it’s not like I don’t deserve it.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“So no one broke glass over your head?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“It fell on top of my head.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

She sighed, nodding, “I guess I’ll make myself believe you, but if I ever find out that it’s more than that I’ll be very mad at you.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I know,” he said, “thank you, Megan. I’ll make sure to pay for it next time I’m here.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“No, go. Keep it—Keep it. It’s on me, okay?” Megan’s grin was bright and contagious, driving George to return it. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You have such a nice smile. It’s beautiful. It makes me want to smile back.,” He complimented her beauty, hoping it was enough kindness in return,--not that it was out of mere kindness, but out of appreciation of her both inside and out—-although he could never fully give as much as she did. “Why are you so kind to me?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Because you deserve it, George, and I think that some people just need to feel good sometimes.” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

She almost reminded him of Darryl. Both of them were shockingly sweet and wholesome, and naively loved everyone they came across. George had always been appreciative of these types of people and didn’t think anyone deserved their caring and kind heart that they seemed to pour out to everyone they could. It was overwhelming almost, feeling the love they gave him unconditionally.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

God, he practically just met her, why did he feel so attached already? 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Can I stay here for a while?” He asked, finally working up the nerve to admit to himself that he couldn’t go back to his house. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“How long do you think you want to stay?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He felt buzzing in his pocket from his phone that he shoved in there before running out of the house. There was a feeling in him that it was Leo, and that his temper had not subsided. He probably came back into George’s and saw that he was gone, which probably had made him infuriated. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“For a couple hours.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“If that’s what you need, of course,” She said, “But let me get these couple of people and then I’ll get back to you.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He went on his phone while he waited, seeing that Dream had streamed earlier and that twitter was freaking out over something, it was normal, but he hadn’t interacted with fans in a while, so he wanted to see what they were on about.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

There was a clip going around, it being of Clay having a random guy come into his room. They were theorizing that it was a new friend or something more, and some were saying it was rational to think it was just his relative.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

But George knew it wasn’t, it had to be a new friend. Why did George feel jealous? He shouldn’t be, because at least this new friend actually spends time with Clay. It made him almost cry knowing that Clay had someone at his house when George wasn’t the one there. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You look sad, darling,” Megan said, catching George’s attention, “What’s got you down?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I think my best friend got a new friend and I don’t know, I wasn’t good enough for him so I feel a little worried he’ll start caring about them more than me. I’ve never been to his house but this person has, but really it’s my fault because he wanted me to fly over to him in America but I said no,” George let himself rant, thinking that Megan wouldn’t mind. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You’re jealous, but it’s not your fault. He's your best friend and we all feel that way about our friends sometimes. Just because he has them over doesn’t mean he likes them more than you. They’re probably from America too, and he also might think you don’t want to see him in person,” Megan said, giving a logical explanation that made Georhe realize how stupid he was. He should have made it more obvious he wanted to go see Clay, but how was he supposed to say he couldn’t see him without giving away that he wasn’t even allowed? He just wouldn’t be able to manage it. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You’re probably right about that, but I haven’t talked to him much in a while, and when we do talk it’s not for long. It’s just—- I can’t,” He said, watching as she grabbed her keys and wiggled her finger in his direction. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You look like you need to eat, hun, and I’ll even buy some ice cream as a treat,” She offered. His eyes widened. He would never be able to cope with the fact he ate twice in a day, including desert, so he would have to say no. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I ate already, but we can’t get ice cream,” He almost slapped himself for saying the ice cream part, but he had a feeling she would have made him get some even if he said no.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I’ll take you home after we eat ice cream, how does that sound?” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

She had taken him to an ice cream shop she said she loved and ordered ice cream there, alerting George order for himself. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

They had some lower-calorie choices and he ordered vanilla, explaining to Megan that he had been on a diet. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Someone behind him touched his shoulder, muttering a low pitched, “Hey, George!”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He turned around. It was the last person he wanted to see.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Raphael’s familiar smirk made him feel sick to his stomach, he had to get out of there. “How are you? I had fun hanging out yesterday!”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George’s breath faltered, and he tried to swiftly grab his ice cream and go out but Raphael spoke again, mouth close to his ear. “Why are you so mean, don’t you want me?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George shuddered, saying in the most fake-excited voice, “Hey, Raphael. Sorry, I’m busy right now.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George quickly left, Megan following close behind him.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“George, why didn’t you talk to your friend? He seemed nice!” 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“He’s not my friend. He helped me a couple of times but that does not mean he’s my friend,” George snapped, feeling guilty once he saw her flush with embarrassing, “sorry, I’m just in a bad mood today.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“It’s okay George,” She said, “I can't tell you've had a bad day. That’s why I brought you here, remember.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He broke out into a cry after roughly setting his ice cream down on the car’s dashboard. “Every time something good happens something else fucking happens to ruin it. I hate it. Why can't I just be happy?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Megan pulled him into a sweet hug, in contrast to his freezing cold body, hers was warm and welcoming. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Hey, you can come to me any time. Ever. Okay? I know we don’t know each other that well but I feel like we are a little connected, at least. You’re not alone and you shouldn’t have to go through anything alone.” Megan rubbed his back as he sulked.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Thank you, Megan. I cry so much. I’m sorry.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“No need to apologize, baby, do you want to go to my place instead of going home?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

It was a little strange to invite him so soon, but it didn’t change the fact that George trusted her enough. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Yes, please, I’d love that.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I have some cake I haven’t baked yet, would you want to bake it with me?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He remembered baking cakes with his mom while he lived in her house. They’d happily make it together and have it while watching her favorite shows. He missed being with her more than anyone else, but their connection had become distant once he left and got more busy with youtube, and he felt that she had been disappointed that he never got a real job. He got to see her on holidays or on occasions before he met Leo, but they didn’t talk ever since. Maybe she had also been disappointed that he was gay, but he didn’t know, she had barely said a thing when he told her. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He rarely thinks of his family often, but the random happy memories sometimes kept him going.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I can’t eat it, but yeah I’d love to,” he smiled, giggling a bit as she ruffled his hair.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“You’re the cutest thing! You got a girlfriend, yet?” It was in a type of way that an aunt would ask a niece, cooing at how much they grew up. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Hopefully she wasn’t homophobic, but again, kindness given to George came at a price. “I have a boyfriend,” He said anyway. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Oh cute!” She chirped, “I hope he treats you nice. You’re a great guy.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Thank you,” He said, and before answering again, he felt the soreness on himself, the reminder that he was a bad boyfriend who deserved to be hit, “He treats me well.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

She took him to her house after that had sat and ate their ice cream and talked for some time. Her house had been small but cozy, it was very her, though. The decor was cute and simple, and she obviously decorated like any other southern American mom would. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“This is nice,” He mentioned, “I like how you decorated it.”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Yeah, most of this is from my mom's house. She passed away not too long ago,” She responded, leading George to the kitchen and pulling out the stuff to make the cake. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

It was supposed to be chocolate, George saw before he was told to grab bowls from the shelf that Megan would be too short to even try to reach. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Why did you put it so high if you live here yourself?” He asked, as he reached on his toes to get them, he was barely able to reach it too. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“It wouldn’t fit anywhere else, dumbass,” She angrily grabbed it, making him laugh at her attitude.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“I have never heard you curse! This is almost as rare as when my friend Bad curses!” He exclaimed. She hit him lightly on the shoulder in a playful manner, but she hit a bruise, making him flinch.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Did I hit you too hard?” She asked in disquiet after she heard him inhaling sharply. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“No, I just have a bruise there. You’re fine,” He assured. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“So Bad? What type of name is that?” She asked as she began mixing the wet ingredients together as he added the dry ones into the biggest bowl. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Badboyhalo his gamer tag, so Bad is basically a nickname we call him,” George said, glancing grossly at the cracked egg she got all over her hand and almost spilt.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“Oh, is that the friend you were jealous of?” She asked while she washed her hands off, laughing to herself about it.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“No, that was Dream. I’ve known him the longest.” He poured the wet ingredients into the big bowl as she sprayed the pan. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

She brought the pan over, taking the bowl and pouring it into the pan herself. She set it in the oven, then started to make the icing.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“So he’s your best friend?”

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

“They’re all my best friends, but he’s the one I’m closest to. Our friendship is just different, so I guess he’s my best best friend,” He simplified it the best he could, but his and Clay’s relationship was very interesting. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

After she finished the icing, she let in in the fridge and brought George to the couch, finding and putting on a crime show. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

It was also very much a late thirty year old woman thing to do, if you went off stereotypes. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Once the cake finished they put icing on it together, it was messy, but Megan seemed to enjoy it when she bit into it. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

George had looked at his phone again when she tried the cake, and he’d seen the amount of missed calls and texts he had from Leo. He even had some from Raphael.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Ten missed calls and 30 unread messages from Leo, while Raphael had called and texted twice. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

He left it unanswered.

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Longer chapter this time, I hope you all like it!! Tell me what you think? 
> 
> Do you like the longer chapters, even if I take a while to update sometimes?


	17. Anathema

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **!!TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT AND A FEW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I feel like this chapter is badly written but is what I could do D:. Anyway, I am not ready for the discourse this chapter will cause.

_Clay: I'm sorry. I'll explain later. I just wanted to keep my identity safe_

_Jasper: What do you mean by that? I'm not pissed but I thought we could be friends and do this._

_Clay: we can. We can, I promise. I couldn't tell you about myself yet until I was ready. I was caught off guard. I didn't mean to come off as rude._

_Jasper: that's fine, but tell me what you are talking about_

_Clay: I was streaming when you came in there. If my fans found out I had a new friend they'd probably figure out that we are more than that._

_Jasper: why didn't you want to tell me you were a streamer?? I don't mind knowing that_

_Clay: i was afraid you would treat me differently._

_Jasper: really?  
Jasper: i wouldnt go that low  
Jasper: i promise i wont treat you differently just because of that clay_

_Clay: thank god  
Clay: even if i play minecraft for a living? lol_

_Jasper: what do you mean? That is so cool, who wouldnt want to play mincecraft for a living?_

_Jasper: that honestly makes you more hot_

_Clay: lmaoo ur so cute  
Clay: you think we could hang out soon? Just to hang out._

_Jasper: why not. As long as we can play minecraft with your friend next time  
Jasper: off camera, of course_

_Clay: I'd like that  
Clay: tomorrow?_

_Jasper: yes. tomorrow is good._

Clay's lips turned up into a smile at the messages. He was glad Jasper was someone who understood. He'd felt bad for lying, but he did care at least a little bit about his and Jaspers relationship.

He didn't want Jasper to be someone to fuck and then throw him away when he was done. He wanted to be friends, so that maybe the relationship would mean more to Clay then a way to forget about his feelings. Maybe it was a way for the both of them to get stress out, as friends. He didn't want to be the only one getting something out of it, really, he saw that as unfair and shallow.

...

George woke up at Megan's at 6 in the morning. She wasn't there, but there was breakfast on the table with a note saying _"Put some meat on those bones while im gone to work"_

He snorted, putting down the note. Eyeing the food, he sat down at the table and bit his lip. He would feel bad for not eating it or throwing it up, so he felt he'd have to swallow it down and get over it. 

It wasn't too much, after all, only a few pieces of bacon and toast. He'd be able to manage to eat that, right? 

Wrong. 

He tried to bite the toast, gagged, and then threw the rest of the plate away, covering the evidence with crumpled napkins. He had nothing to do besides sitting on the couch and staring at his phone that rang every few minutes. Once it stopped, he grabbed it and finally went through all of the new notifications. 

There were now over 20 missing calls from Leo, and two voicemails. Raphael didn't text him again, luckily, but his messages made George's stomach tied in knots.

Raphael: you'd said we hang out again the other day..  
Raphael: why aren't you answering the phone? I wanna see you again.  
Raphael: you know, we can have more fun again, sweetheart. Leo still doesn't have to know  
Raphael: I like you so much, I wish I was Leo.. I wouldn't hit you like he does. I would treat you so well.  
Raphael: I spent all night watching your channel. It was fun. 

George left him on read, nearing tears before he moved over to his voicemail box and hit play on Leo's first voicemail.

 _"George, fucking answer goddamnit. Where are you?"_ His voice was rough and scratchy like nails on a chalkboard. 

He played the second one, which certainly had been longer.

 _"You don't know how mad I am at you, george. You run out of the house to God knows where and you don't even pick up the phone? Oh, and I forgot to bring up earlier that Dream thinks you want to stream with him, next time you decide to disobey and fucking talk to him why don't you tell him that you aren't interested in being friends anymore. Don't you dare tell him I said that either. We all know no one wants to be friends with you anyway, not when you don't even listen...and god, you're so annoying. I don't know why people are still even talking to you. You are lucky you have me, who puts up with this shit. So, when you get home, you're fucking getting it. Now answer the damn phone."_

Leo hadn't even yelled, but the aggressive tone he used was showing out more. The voicemail was sent fifteen minutes ago, making George guess that he was most likely still angry with him. Leo wouldn’t have calmed down by then. 

The hurtful words that were paired with the pure fury in Leo's voice made George's breath quicken. He curled into himself, throwing his phone down on the couch beside him. He buried his head into his legs and tried to calm himself down.

There was no way he'd be able to go back home, not right now, not when he would definitely have to face a pissed off Leo. He would have to stay at Megan's another night, and thankfully Leo didn't know she even existed. 

George started to think of what Leo said, about how his friends really were fake, about how he was annoying and that no one wanted to be his friend anyway. _He was never going good enough. Why would someone want someone so useless and disgusting?_

He wondered why he was like this. He wondered if calling Clay would help him stop panicking, but would it really if he was just calling to tell him he wanted to stop being his friend? Maybe Clay was dying for him to stop being his friend, truthfully. Clay of all people, who was way too good for him, wouldn't ever truly love him.

Clay didn't pick up the phone at first. It was the third time he answered with a slurred "Hello."

"Hey, Dream," George said, "Are you drunk?"

"Yep, Yep. I am. I was passed out before you called me," Clay said, the phone making shuffling noises like he was moving.

"You were passed out from being drunk?" George questioned in concern.

"No. I meant I was asleep." For being drunk, Clay could speak well.

"I need to talk to you about something," George started, speaking in almost a whisper. Voice so quiet that you almost couldn't hear him.

He could hear Clay perk up at that. He likely was thinking George needed help through a break down, but no, he was about to be told his friend didn't want to talk to him anymore. It was evil, and George had the audacity to want to stop all contact with him just because his boyfriend told him to, even after Clay did so much for him. 

He was so sorry about this, but he was doing it for both of their safety. It was better than Leo hurting either of them or making the situation worse, so this would have to happen.

"I don't think we should talk anymore, at least for a while," George finally confessed. 

Clay's end was quiet, so quiet that George thought he hung up without him seeing it before he heard him speak. "I-I-I--what? Why--why do you think that?"

Clay sounded so crushed, but George didn't blame him. He had clearly only called just to shred the poor guy apart. It was like George was destroying everything in his path now, and it was just Clay's turn to be the thing he would leave in ruins.

He wanted to be honest, that was what Clay deserved to hear. Honesty. "Leo doesn't like you, and I think he wants me to stop before he breaks up with me. It's-It's for the better. At least until I convince him or we break up."

"He doesn't like me? Why? Also the fact you--you would put him before me hurts, George. That fucking hurts," Clay's voice is wavering, making it obvious he was trying his best not to cry.

George wanted nothing more than to say it was a stupid joke. To say it was all okay and they can talk everyday for hours if that was what Clay wanted. 

"I'm sorry," George said, tears running down his face. He tried to keep his voice sounding as held together as possible, and surprisingly it was doing its. "He thinks I spend too much time with you. I think he is jealous, but he didn't tell me a lot about why."

"Really? If anything you fucking spend more time with him. He seems to be the one that is more important to you. You are just letting him boss you around like you're his little pet. You need to break up with him, he doesn't want what's best for you," Clay snapped. It was like he was holding something back, like George took the last straw and he just stopped holding back.

"I love him," George said, "He does want what is best for me."

"So you can say you love him, but you can't say that about me?" Clay asked, sounding angry now, "George I love you. Why can't you love me back"

George hated this. Why couldn't he just crawl in a hole and die? That would surely solve all his problems.

George didn't answer, so Clay spoke up again. "You don't give a shit about us do you? What do you even do when you aren't talking to us? What do you do all the time when your friends are here thinking you don't love them anymore?"

"I do care about you guys. I'm just busy all the time."

"Busy with what? Fucking Leo and his friends?" Clay's was raspy and rough, scratching itself into George's brain. It was trying to inform him just how much pain he was causing.

"No," Was all George said. 

Clay gave him an irritated sigh. "This is why I'm drunk."

George bit his lip, his teeth drawing blood. The metallic taste was as bitter as the conversation, "What do you mean by that?"

"It means that you are never there for me. I want to talk to you about why I need to drink, but you bail on me every time we get any chance to talk."

 _Don't bring up his new friend, George. Don't do it,_ repeated in his mind.

"Why don't you go talk to your new friend then? He seems to be comforting enough since you invited him to your fucking house," George remarked. He scolded himself for not listening to his brain.

"Oh, so you're jealous of Jasper when you told me you couldn't come here for God knows what fucking reason." He had a point, and it wasn't like Megan had told him that there was no reason to be jealous. 

—but like Leo told him, _he doesn't ever fucking listen._

"I just want to know why you didn't tell me you had a new friend."

"Maybe I would have told you if you were here for me," Clay said, words just shooting daggers into every part of George.

"Look, I am sorry. I just-- I can't tell you a good reason. I know it hurts. It hurts me too. It's for the better. I promise I'll try to convince Leo to get his head out of his ass."

"You don't want to talk to me, so I don't see any use," Clay uttered. His words were still a bit slurred. George heard a swish of liquid on a bottle and knew he was starting to drink from it again. 

"I do, though," George was trying not to completely fall apart. It was hard, trying to keep it all together in front of the people he loved, "But I can't."

"Whatever."

"Clay," George rarely said his name unless they were being serious, "I--I love you."

"No you fucking don't." Clay's voice was raised this time, startling George.

"I love you, but Clay you're too good for me. I only can come to you when I am hurting, and I'm never here for you. Why would you want me to be your friend anyway?" George sniffled, eyes glossed over as he grabbed at the couch for something to keep him steady.

"I can't believe you, don't play the fucking victim George," Clay said. His voice was still hoarse, "I want to be friends George, but obviously you don't want us to be."

George realized he should have waited for this until Clay wasn't drunk. Either Clay didn't mean any of this, or he had no filter when he was drunk. George prayed it was the first. 

"How many times do I have to tell you, I want to be friends I just can't." 

"Then why are you leaving me?" 

"I— just—" George didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say when that was the truth?

"You are leaving me aren't you?" Clay scoffed, "Also, Jasper was a little bit more than a friend. I did go to him when I couldn't have—when I couldn't talk to you."

"A little more than a friend?" George's eyebrows furrowed. Was Clay and Jasper more than what he thought? George didn't even know Clay was gay. Clay had once or twice insinuated that he _might_ be gay, but he also saidwasn't completely sure yet. 

"I sleep with him," Clay mumbled, words almost a jumbled mess as he spoke shyly.

"So you're getting drunk and sleeping with people, are you okay? I didn't even know you were gay," George mentioned, gritting his teeth together. 

"No. I'm not. Especially after finding out you don't want me anymore."

That ripped George's heart in two. It was being torn to shreds and he was destroying the relationship with the only person that he wanted to put it back together. The two pieces of his heart rested on the ground, touched by no one. 

"No I do- I do— I want—"

“Can I see you George? I want to see you one more time before we have to say goodbye.”

He couldn’t show his face. It was covered in bruises and he looked revolting. He couldn’t let Clay know how his life was truly going. 

“No I-I- I can’t. I’m sorry,” George stuttered. 

“You can’t even let me see you? Why?”

“You can’t see me like this.”

“You don’t want me to look you in the eyes as you tell me this shit, is that what’s it?” 

“No—No let me expla—“ 

He was cut off by Clay hanging up on him. 

Now George had started to sob as he laid the phone down. His heart ached as much as his head. He felt as if he could pass out from crying.

"You're awful, just awful," George told himself. He had just told his best friend that he didn't want him anymore. He truly was that horrible. Every hurtful word out of Clay's mouth and every hit he knew would come if he went back to Leo, was well earned. He practically was asking for it by now.

He'd lost everyone he once knew by now and it was all his fault. 

He sat there and continued to cry the most in a while. Once he had calmed down for a bit, he got up and got water to pinch his dry throat he had from crying so hard.

He almost dropped the glass when he heard a knock on the door. 

He answered it, opening it to see the familiar tall figure with dark brown hair standing there. He almost slammed the door on him but he caught it with his arm, walking in and closing the door behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" George asked, voice cracking. 

"I wanted to come see you," Raphael smiled, nearly causing George's skin to crawl. "I thought you'd want to hang out!"

Raphael walked closer and closer as George tried getting farther from him. 

"How did you even get here?" George was against the tiny island that was near the door. 

"I followed you, kitten," He assuredly purred.

George's stomach lurched, "Get the fuck out of here."

"Why do you hate me George? I'm so much better than him, yet you sit there and forgive him every time he hurts you. You think you deserve it don't you?" 

"That isn't any of your business," George said as Raphael caressed his waist, making him push him away. "No."

...

George was running, running away from his problems. Sweat was running down his body and his breath was quick. He is still five minutes from his house, and it had already been six of him running. Well, more like running for a few seconds and then stopping to catch his breath. 

He'd emptied his stomach in the bathroom after Raphael left Megan's house, and without warning Megan, he had ran straight out of that house. He knew he would have to explain why he wasn't there when she came home, but he simply wanted to be anywhere but there. He would have to tell her next time he saw her at the drugstore, he notes that in his head. 

It was the way he smiled that sent chills down George's spine, the way his skin felt like sandpaper against George as he took what he wanted, that made George just want to _disappear or plainly stop living._

He hated it. He hated that Raphael took everything from him. He deprived him of normal thoughts, all positive ones that were barely even there were now completely gone. Raphael corrupted him, and he wanted so badly to get rid of him. Both out of his head and real life, no matter how bad it sounded. 

He had no one. Raphael only cared for his body, not about anything else. He didn't give a shit about him. He just wanted to get in his pants, whether he wanted him back or not.

He was shaking before he opened the door to his house, terrified of what Leo was going to do to him. He hoped he could show him the bright side by saying he had told Clay to stop talking to him. He hoped it made him happy because it completely tore George apart. 

Leo wasn't even there. He had gotten waves of relief as he lied on their couch, taking in sharp breaths as he cried. He wanted to call Clay, but he had a feeling that he already blocked him on every platform. There was nowhere to go. Of course, he could go to his other friends, but who the hell would want to deal with a burden like him. 

He didn't want to ruin another friendship like that, so he just lied there as everything poured out of him. There was no stopping it, the pain settled in his heart was spewing out like a waterfall. He wanted to numb it. He longed to stop thinking at all. He'd rather be brain-dead than think about the way Raphael had looked at him while he took what he wanted from him. 

He deserved the treatment after all. 

...

Clay took another swig from the bottle as he looked at Jasper, who was laying on his bed with only the blanket covering him. 

He could taste the tears running down his face, the saltiness making him choke up. He was supposed to be getting better, but now George was taken away from him.

He was furious too, he wondered how George could be so naive. He didn’t understand why George wouldn’t ever let himself do what he wanted, and he was sure that’s why he was doing this. He doesn’t think he has a choice. _He doesn’t think he’s worth a choice,_ Clay thought.

Clay wanted to tell him he could make his own decisions. He didn’t have to please everyone.

It angered him that he wanted to please Leo more than he did his friends. What was so out of this world about Leo that George just threw his friends away like that because he asked him to? 

The way George had carried it out wasn’t very nice, either. He didn’t have to bring up Jasper being there with him, or how he was jealous when he had just told him he didn’t want to come to Florida. 

He knew he has done some things in the call with George he shouldn’t have. He had said things that probably hurt George, but he couldn’t exactly help it when he was both pissed drunk and heart broken. 

Clay had blocked him on all platforms. It was salty, but if George had tried to contact him again he knew that in the moment he would have impulsively picked up the phone, only for his emotions to get stomped on again. 

George was just proving how much of a mess he was without him, that he was his weakness and now that he was gone all he could do was drown in self-pity.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to get rid of everything hurting him or his friends. He wanted to curse everything that was making him plummet into more darkness. 

And goddamn, did he deserve to do all of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways thoughts and feedback in comments always make me feel great :D love responding too! I hope you’re having a great day, whoever is reading this!


	18. Don’t Leave Me to Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !!TW FOR MORE DETAILED SEXUAL ASSAULT!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for whoever I told that this chapter was gonna be better, it’s not. Be careful though, love!! <3

_George’s face was littered with bruises as he fell asleep alone in his bedroom. Leo had left him there to sleep over at a friends, saying that he should do it because he deserved to sleep lonely that night after what he had done._

_His body was against Leo’s, warming him up with his body heat as they discussed some of their favorite things. They talked about their favorite part of the holidays, what ice cream they liked best, and even their favorite thing about each other. They’d giggle at the stupid things they’d both say, swallowing down the laughs every once in a while with sugar-sweet kisses._

_Leo kissed him on the forehead, lovingly running his hands up and down George’s torso. It was a delicate moment to George. He felt all of his trouble come to a halt, finally letting him get the happiness he deserved._

_“You’re beautiful, George,” Raphael’s voice told him._

_What?_

_He turned and looked at “Leo” this time it being Raphael’s sinister smile, wide and teasing. George got up, backing away from the Bed._

_Raphael was gone again . Leo was walking to him, anger in his eyes as his hand reached behind his head to hit George, but when George fell to the ground and sobs he left him alone._

_“George?” Someone asked, tapping his shoulder, “They’re gone. They’re gone. I made sure. I saw him hurting you and I had to do something.”_

_George continued to look away, his head in his hands. The person spoke again, their voice shifting to sound something like Clay’s. “Can I see you, George?”_

_George looked up, only slightly so that he could only see Clay’s chin, everything else couldn’t be seen. Clay titled his chin up, letting him see the rest of his face which was covered by a white blur._

_“I saved you from them George,” Clay said with adorable enthusiasm, “I saved you from the bad things.”_

_George, blinking slowly, muttered, “Thank you.”_

_Clay caressed his cheek. It certainly didn’t feel the same as it did when it was Raphael. This time it was comforting, making his space and consent less violated. His hand felt ridiculously soft against his chin, almost having George complain at its loss._

_“I don’t hate you, George. I don’t care if you hurt me. I’m still here for you.”_

George woke up at four in the morning, dried tears and saliva on his face. He grimaced in disgust, yet didn't he didn't find the motivation to get up and wipe it off. 

It was like his mind was fucking with him, rubbing it in that he lost Clay. Sure, it was a sweet dream, but it was more bittersweet than anything. It was primarily shoving in his face that he couldn't have peace.

He was sore and there were burning scratches running along his sides and his arms. His body felt like he'd been hit by a truck. Even something as simple as flipping around made him feel exhausted. It didn't help that he was sleep deprived, but still couldn't find himself falling back into sleep. 

He thought of Clay, even wondered if he hated him yet or if he blocked him everywhere like usual when they would fight. He'd remembered the times they fought over stream about Clay showing him his face for getting in return George saying that he loved him. He had blocked him on teamspeak that day and did it many other times they fought.  
  
"I don't hate you George. I don't care if you hurt me. I'm still here for you." 

Just thinking of what Dream-Clay said caused him to tear up. He had really fucked up, hadn't he?

But, What do you expect from a fuck up like him?

  
...

It was 10 p.m. for Clay. He was still in his room, Jasper lied beside him snoring softly. He had only slept a couple of hours, and then his body decided he had enough peace and woke him up again. His mind drifted to George again and their last call. 

Of all things to happen, why did he have to lose George? Seemingly, the universe would never be in Clay's favor. 

He still wished they could have left off on a better note, maybe just say their goodbyes without struggles or fights. That would have made him feel just a bit better, even if they still broke off. 

He should have stopped thinking about it.

It had been ten minutes before Clay realized that he was crying, silently sniffling as he lied, staring at the ceiling. He didn't mean to cry, but it just happened, it just spilled out and was uncontrollably continuing to fuck up his face and his sinuses. He was trying his best to make sure to be silent as he covered his face with his hands.

"Clay," He heard, a few seconds after he had his head in his hands. Jasper sat up, holding his arms out before taking Clay in them warmly. 

"Sorry, Sorry," Clay apologized through his whimpers, meanwhile sinking into the feeling of Jasper. 

"No, Clay, you don't have to say sorry," Jasper said, soothing Clay by running his fingers through his hair, "Why are you crying?"

Clay barely could quiet himself, but when he did, he tried to explain. 'You- do you remember that time I brought up the guy I have a crush on?'"

Jasper nodded, letting Clay speak again, "I do remember."

"His name is George. His boyfriend told him that he didn't like me and basically forced George to cut me off," Clay started, parting from Jasper as he wiped his face, "It happened yesterday and I... I just... miss him."

"I'm sorry, Clay. Boyfriend's can be dicks sometimes," Jasper said, "His is just a bit of a bigger dick."

"I loved him, and I still do. Like, a lot. I just can't have him, especially now," Clay's teeth nipped at his own lip, "I can't even have him as a friend anymore."

"It's okay. You're a nice guy, you'll find someone new," Jasper assured him.

"But what if I don't want to? Everyone tells me I will but I don't think I will ever like someone as much as I do him," Clay stated as he went on his phone, viewing George's profile as if he was looking at old polaroid pictures of camaraderie and distant family memories.

"I don't really know much about this guy, except for how sappy of a boyfriend he is. I had to stream with him and George one time and that was just...not fun." Clay sighed, looking through George's profile to find Leo's, which wasn't that hard, seeing as George didn't follow a lot of people. 

The last post was a couple of months ago, it was George and Leo next to each other, Leo's arm around his waist. Clay huffed at the image, and couldn't deny that Leo was attractive. He'd seen him before, but he never really took the time to look at him. "Shit, Jasper, and he's hotter than me."

Jasper glanced at the photo. "Eh he's okay. I think you're definitely hotter," Jasper smirked in a teasing manner,, "If it makes you feel any better you're probably taller."

Clay shook his head, smiling at Jasper's taunting, "They're so fucking cute together, too. This is unfair."

"George is cute with him, I guess," Jasper shrugged, "Stop looking at those they're just gonna make you worse."

"But--George," Clay trailed off, "I miss him."

"You're so gross, stop with this simp shit," Jasper jokes, "we get it you're in love with him."

"At least I didn't simp for someone after the first few days we met." Clay raised his eyebrows in a tease.

"Well, at least I don't talk about you constantly," Jasper bit back. 

Clay chuckled at that, "You sure?"

Jasper faked an offended scoff, "Yes I'm sure. You know what? You're so annoying. Why am I still here?"

"Because you like me a lot," Clay tried winking like Jasper, but ended up looking awkward, "Yeah I can't do this." 

He wheezed, getting Jasper to let out bird-like laughs. 

"It's okay," Jasper kissed his cheek, trailing down to the side of his neck, "It's true. I do like you., even if you are really awkward.  
  
Clay let out little sighs as Jasper continued to kiss his jaw, pulling on Jasper's hair. He giggled as Jasper climbed on top of him, kissing him lustfully. Jasper goes from his lips to his neck again, this time sucking at the skin.

His thoughts became overtaken by something else and he was instead imagining Jasper's hands grazing his sides as George's. He wanted nothing more than to take over and love George the way he deserved it. He felt his sweet spot being kissed, and then, he couldn't take it anymore, "George."

Jasper stopped, suddenly pulling away, "You just-"

Clay felt himself blush. "Shit-," he cursed, "Sorry."

Clay got a small laugh out of Jasper, "It's okay, but I don't really feel like we should keep going if you're thinking of him and not me."

Clay thanked God that Jasper didn't seem hurt. "That makes sense."

They awkwardly sat away from each other, "So--uh, do you want to go and play Mario Kart again?"

Jasper smirked, "and beat your ass? Yeah."

...

It was a week after George had the dream when he had had another. It was again about Clay, but this time Megan was there. They were there together, comforting him as he cried into Megan's arms.

_"I'm here for you, every single step of the way," He remembered Dream-Clay said to him as he rubbed circles into his back with his thumb. The way he said it made George's heart beat faster._

Sometimes, he longed for it to happen in real life. As he would lay in his bed and cry about something Leo said or done to him, he would imagine that Clay was there. God, he really, _really_ missed dream. He wanted to grab his phone and dial his number again, but there was no use if Clay blocked him already.

Mr. Loverman played in his ear as he lied staring at the ceiling. The rain was pouring outside, making harsh pats on the window. It was surreal almost, his emotions felt more raw as his tears poured out as well. Listening to it now was different, it hurt. The fact that it reminded him of Clay was painful.

He pulled the earbuds out once the song was finished. He was still in the same position when Leo had walked in gentler than he naturally did. He sat up and looked at him as Leo came and gave him a soft, and what could he say, toxic, kiss. 

"Hey baby, a friend of mine and Raphs is having a party tonight. Me and my friends are going," Leo started, "Do you think that you want to come?"

A party with people like Leo's friends? That was just asking to get the shit beat out of him.  
  
George shook his head slowly, "No thanks, I think I need to stream so no one gets worried, anyway."

Leo rolled his eyes, mood changing completely as he spoke again, "Seriously? Please babe? You can stream another time."

_"You can say no to people, George," Clay said, cupping George's face. He brushed hair out of George's eyes, "I want you to know that."_

"No, sorry." George even surprised himself with his own sternness.

Leo exhaled and rolled his eyes again.

"You are such a dick to me. Can you not do this one thing for me, George?" His voice was shaky, but it was almost off in a way that made George want to deny him again.

"Come on, I do a lot for you. I just don't want to go there."

"That is so selfish. You don't ever do what I want. You know how embarrassing it is to tell people you aren't coming because you don't want to for no fucking reason? This is bullshit. They're going to think you're a bad boyfriend," Leo grinned sarcastically, continuing, "and i wouldn't blame them."

George began to feel the guilt ooze into him, telling him that he should go for Leo, and if he didn't he was a selfish dick, "Fine. I'll go."

"Now, can you say you're sorry? Don't start thinking you get to have that attitude with me." Leo crossed his arms to make himself look bigger.

"I'm sorry."

"That's what I thought," Leo retorted before he had exited their room.

...

The rain stopped before they left. Leo had insisted that they could make cookies for the part before they left.

They were in the kitchen for two hours, and George couldn't say that he didn't enjoy baking with Leo. It was fun, actually, and Leo was pretty calm as they made them. 

Regardless of a few of George's slip ups that he got scolded for, Leo would kiss him and softly touch him consistently. George would giggle, touching him back or nudge closer into the touch. It was satisfying, finally having someone touch him with genuine kindness. He didn't get it at a price either and that was refreshing to him.

They were sugar cookies. They made a few dozen before putting them in a container and getting ready for the party.

Leo walked into their room, handing George his hoodie and a pair of his black jeans, "Wear this."

George was a little shocked about Leo telling him what to wear, but he brushed it off, knowing he would have worn something like that anyways.

"If we separate you'll have my hoodie, that way you'll be reminded of me and other guys will know you're mine," Leo said, squeezing his shoulder possessively. 

"Okay, thank you," George said, slipping the clothes on. He looked in the mirror at himself. 

He immediately regretted that, facing away quickly, "I'm so-"

"What? Oh-"Leo put on a smile, walking over to George. George started to think he would have told him differently, but then he put a hand on his stomach and said, "should have lost weight quicker." 

George frowned, tears pricking his eyes. "I guess that's true." 

"Sorry," Leo said. It was more like a half-assed apology, but George accepted it anyways.

George covered himself in makeup before they left, it was smoother this time, hence him having something to apply it with now. It looked a lot better now that he wasn't using his fingerss to rub it across his face, cringing as it pooled in some places and probably seeped into his pores. 

He and Leo left the house when the sun was setting, and the car ride was about fifteen minutes before they got to the house. It seemingly had a bunch of people inside already, which had George's nerves sparking up inside him.

He wasn't necessarily shy of people, but when seeing that house and knowing everyone in there could possibly be like Alan,--or even worse, Raphael-- he felt sirens blaring in his mind that he shouldn't go in.

He wanted to listen to it and beg Leo not to force him in, but it was too late when he hopped out of the vehicle. The rain had just started up again, this time there was thunder roaring in the distance. 

He walked in, hearing music play loudly and obnoxiously all around him. Everyone already looked at least tipsy, talking loudly to each other and walking around like that had somewhere important to be.

Leo walked off before even telling him anything, getting covered by the crowd of people. George sighed in disapproval, looking for somewhere he could sit or at least stand alone.

He had forgotten that Leo's friends were going to be there, and was surprised when he felt the almost-empty couch he found dip down.

It was the last person he would want to see. 

He almost got up and left when he heard the nauseating voice, "Hey, George."

Raphael smiled sweetly, but it was sickening, making George's stomach turn in circles. He felt like he was about to faint, and his brain was screaming to run away. 

He did. He got up, and he walked straight from the couch and into the bathroom by the kitchen, sitting down on the lidded toilet seat when he got there.

If he was going to have to stay there the whole party, then he definitely would do that, but fists were knocking at the door in odd patterns. He opened up the door to find a random drunk girl trying to get in.

"Sorry," She slurred, rushing past him. 

He shrugged and then walked the opposite direction of where Raphael was, trying his best to get lost in the crowd rather than just stand somewhere where Raphael could easily walk up to him and talk again. He felt sick to his stomach as could see Leo and his friends walk straight past him, obviously already drunk and going for more.

Someone tapped his shoulder, "Hi can you try one of my cookies?" A random girl asked in her high pitched voice, pointing her index finger at the tray of cookies in her other hand. 

He shook his head, looking away from her, yet she didn't leave him alone. "Please! no one is touching them and you look like someone who would be nice enough to try them."

"Sorry, guess I'm not nice enough."

He would have rather not eaten at that moment, he couldn't risk suffering even more.

She frowned, "Why are you all alone?"

He wished she would just go away, "My boyfriend left me."

"That's mean I--" She was cut off when she looked behind George, "Is that him?"

He turned around, seeing Raphael behind him with two drinks in hand. "Am I who?" 

George sucked in a breath, shoving Raphael away from him, "No. You're not anything to me, now get away from me." 

Tears threatened to spill out his fearful eyes as Raphael still stood there. The girl grabbed George's arm, taking him away and into a bedroom close to them. "Sorry. You didn't seem to like that guy so I got you away from him."

"No that's--that's good. Thank you," George breathed, "Thank you."

The girl smiled, "I'm Ruby. You think you want to try my cookies now?"

George could manage to swallow it down, just for how kind she was to him. "Yeah I guess."

She handed on to him, looking at him while he bit into it. It was chocolate chip, and it was basically the melt- in- your-mouth kind of good, although he struggled to eat the full thing. "Wow. That was really good. You make these?"

"Yes," She chirped, "You liked them!"

"Yeah I did. Thank you, but I'm full so save those for everyone else."

"What's your--" Ruby cut herself off again, making George check for anyone behind him again, "You have something on your face, Let me go to the bathroom and get something to get it off."

She left the room, closing the door behind her softly. He lied down, putting his head in his arms as a pillow as he waited. When the door creaked open and shut again, he went back to the same criss cross position he was in earlier. 

He wished he had looked at who came in.

"Look who I found," Raphael sneered, crossing his arms. 

He took a seat beside George on the bed, laughing as George tried to crawl away. His hand roughly grabbed George's arm when he tried to get up and it yanked him close to Raphael. 

"You're not going anywhere."

George's face was wet with tears when Raphael cupped his cheek and pulled him in for a harsh kiss. George tried pushing him away, but his arms were holding him tightly. 

Hands were touching him everywhere as Raphael stuck his tongue inside his mouth. 

George bit it, making Raphael jump back and hold his hands to his mouth. "What the fuck?!" 

He slapped him, "You bitch." 

Forcing him back to him, he kissed George as he led his body to rest on the bed. He pinned him down by the arms, "Did you think you could just do that to me? I will teach you not to do that type of shit."

He kissed him again, lips wet and swollen. He moved down to his neck, sucking the skin at George's pulse. His teeth bit at it. 

George sobbed under him, not even trying to fight anymore. It was pointless.

Raphael continued to take what he wanted. His hands were getting down close to his pants when he flipped them over and up so that they were against the bed frame. 

The door opened and Raphael had pushed him away forcefully when they saw Leo standing there, "What the hell? What the fuck were you two doing."

Raphael waved his hand frantically, "No, no. You should ask what he was doing! He threw himself onto me!"

Leo looked George in the face, eye furrowed and his face turned in an angry expression, "You did what George? Is this true?"

"No! It's not true h-he was forcing me to make out wit-with him! He's done it before." The words spluttered out of his mouth. He didn't know what he could do, there was no way Leo would believe him after knowing what it had looked like.

"He's lying! He has forced himself before, too! He's a cheater," Raphael defended, facing Leo in fake distraught. 

The corner of Raphael's mouth perked up when Leo looked back at George, "You think I can trust you after you have gone and talked to Dream so many times behind my back?" 

"I'm sorry-I talked to him about that. I told him I didn't want to speak to him anymore I-I-I would never do that to you Leo," George told him, a soft voice cracking a bit. His face was still wet and makeup was smeared. He was a wreck. 

"What's happening?" A voice spoke behind Leo. It was Alan—of all fucking people it could be. 

"George is a fucking cheater," Leo said, furiously, "I'm fucking done with you. Have you not learned a thing? I feel so fucking stupid because of you!" 

Leo was crying too, but it didn't matter much to him when Alan threw a punch at his face. "That's what you get for cheating, you fucking prick."

Leo joined, picking George up by grabbing him and then punching his stomach. George fell to the ground in pain, letting the two of them kick him relentlessly. Jake walked in after them, shutting and locking the door and then watching the fight.

They threw hard punches, hard enough that George's face was bleeding. He let them do what they want, feeling too weak and helpless to fight back. He was in his own mind as he curled up on the ground. He swore he could hear laughing coming from the bed where Raphael still proudly sat.

They were through once he was close to passing out, blood covering his face and body. 

"Shit," Jake said, realizing they had gone too far, "I think we need to bring him to a hospital."

"Are you crazy? He's fine. Cheaters need to learn their lesson. He deserves to lie here in pain," Alan said, walking to the door and unlocking it, "Let's go." 

They abandoned him, everyone but Raphael.

He dipped down, face close to his ear, "Maybe you should have listened to me when I said not to tell anyone," His voice dropped, "But I changed my mind about how those bruises look. I think they look beautiful, especially the ones I made." 

Raphael walked away. 

George knew what he meant. He could remember what he said as if he had recited it. 

"If you tell anyone anything then I will tell Leo that we have kissed, that wouldn't be good, would it? We don't need to see any more bruises on that pretty body of yours, now do we?" 

He wanted to ask Raphael if he got what he wanted, if he was satisfied with the outcome. He hoped he was happy with it. He hoped he got whatever kick he gets out of torturing him. 

He couldn't feel much. The majority of his body was numb, which was a good thing. He couldn't feel much of what they did, but his mind was screaming in pain. 

He didn't know what to do except lie there, until someone opened the door. He heard a scream, "You- You—What happened? I got lost. Fuck, I shouldn't have left you." 

She knelt down beside him, "Who did this?"

When he didn't answer, she called someone in there, "I think we need to take him to the hospital. It's about ten minutes away and it will be faster and cheaper to drive him. Do you have a car?"

He was picked up some moments later, "Where's his boyfriend?"

Leo came up to her acting scared as if he wasn't one of the ones who made him that way, "George- George? What happened?"

They brought him to the car they came in, spreading his small body across the seat in the back of the car. 

George stayed quiet. How cruel was it to pretend like you didn't just beat your boyfriend bloody? Who in their right mind would do that?

He wished he could say he hadn't earned it. If he told Leo sooner that Raphael was doing that stuff, then none of it would happen. He would have gotten the beating he earned, but it wouldn't have been as bad.

It was kind of cheating, after all.

He wanted to yell at himself, say no, he didn't deserve it, but voices told him that he asked for everything he got. He did things he wasn't supposed to behind his boyfriend's back, and not to mention, he was worthless. He thought so, at least, but he knew that was what Leo was doing all of that for. 

He just loved George enough to knock him back into shape. He did everything he did out of care, and George felt that he was being an ungrateful bitch.

He wished he wasn't physically numb. He would have preferred his wounds to burn on his body rather than his mind.

George felt like he was in the pool again, something holding him down so that he couldn't get the air his body needed. Something was stopping him from reaching relief or catching at least a second of a break from everything. Maybe he was just drowning now, and it was just a matter of time before death came and got him. It was an easier route out of the pain he was feeling, anyway.

He thought of the sirens he heard go off in his mind earlier.

He should have listened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20k hits??? Wtf thanks so much guys. That’s means so much!! Ily
> 
> Comments, feedback, and corrections are always appreciated!! I love reading and responding to them!! :)


	19. Pink-Orange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This chapter is a little short so I hope that isn’t a problem. I don’t like it was much, with it being short and not written as I wanted, but that’s okay. 
> 
> I should stop making promises about next chapters, so sorry if you expected this to be better. Its a little better, truly, but there is some stuff in here you might not like.

George clenched Leo’s stained hoodie that wrapped around his bloodied body, hoping, praying, _trusting_ that it was the gesture of it being given to him that would help him hang onto the last tread that was as simple as kindness. 

“Leo?” George’s voice rasped in the back seat, gasping when they hit a bump that made his sore body jump. 

“What?” Leo’s voice was hard to read, but it was almost calm sounding. 

“Fuck,” George cursed under his breath as the wiped the dried blood off his face, “wher- where are we going?”

“Home,” Leo replied simply. 

George’s heart stopped for a second. He was in so much pain, why couldn’t he be sent there for at least that night? “What? I thought we were going to the hospital?”

“You’re not hurt that bad, come on. Plus, I’ll fix you up when we get there. My friends are going to be there because we wanted to still have fun,” Leo’s voice still remained nearly emotionless, “after you decided to ruin everything.”

“I wasn’t cheating,” George said for the last time, slowly and sleepily from still feeling like he was hit by a train. 

“You’re trying to get me to trust you? After all the shit you pulled? You’re fucking lucky I love you and won’t leave you for something like that. I have secrets of my own, but what the fuck is wrong with you? You better have at least been drunk or high, maybe that chick gave you one of her weed cookies or something,” Leo snapped, gripping the steering wheel tight. 

_He has secrets of his own._

George ignored hearing that came out of his mouth.

“Weed cookies? Those seemed normal to-“ 

“So you ate one?”

“Yeah,” George said. Spitting out lies would get him nowhere. 

“Well, were they good? Did they get you high?” Leo’s annoyed tone set him off. He held the steering wheel even tighter. 

“Yes they were good and no they weren’t weed cookies. Okay? I have eaten in like what? Three days? I’m fucking hungry and food is everything except appealing to me now! Look I lost weight! Is that what you fucking wanted from me?” George yelled, hoarse and tired throat ready to break like glass at any moment. 

“Jesus, could you not fucking yell? Your voice is annoying as hell. You’re fucking crazy too.” 

“I’m not crazy,” George breathed lowly.

Leo looked at him, sighing softly. His face turned to a soft, mellow expression, “George, I’m sorry for saying that. You’re not crazy. I get why you’re mad. You just don’t understand the things I do, and I get that. George, that’s the way I was taught.”

“I don’t know what you’re on about. Just get to the fucking house so I can get a shower,” George groaned, irritable scratching and picking more at his face.

Leo hit the steering wheel. 

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that, you fucking brat. You don’t fucking cheat and expect me to take on the burden of cleaning up _your_ mess of _your_ consequences.” 

George flinched at the change of tone and Leo’s raised voice. “But you said you would clean me u-”

“Okay—this is bullshit. I’m not going to help you,” Leo contended his words, confusing George on the _probably normal by now_ mood swings. 

“Okay.”

“What if I had just let him have his fucking way with you?—“

George froze up.

“—He seemed to be okay with you jumping on him like that. Why not let him do what he wants? You know, I don’t fucking care anymore,” Leo let out dry, frustrated laughs, “I don’t fucking care what you do with him anymore. And, for a matter of fact, I knew he had a thing for you forever, and that he helped you with a bunch of stuff. I mean, I understand him. Who would even want to help you without receiving anything in their favor? So why not let him get what he deserves for helping?”

He almost emptied his stomach in the car. 

George didn’t know if he was being sarcastic, but it made his blood run cold.

He was silent, defeated by then. He had already been on the edge, and everything that was just said tipped him over. He was done, he was no longer fighting back for a ray of light. He was just fine not struggling in the darkness.

But there was something telling him he should fight back. 

“What the fuck,” He said, breathing out what he wanted to be his last breath of air, “You aren’t serious. I don’t even want him.”

Leo said nothing for what felt like ten minutes, “Also bullshit. And, Like I said, I don’t care—serious or not.”

When they got home, two cars were parked there. The familiar look of Raphael's car made dread settle beneath the lining of his stomach.

Alan and Jake could have well bored holes into George by now. The way they glared at him like he killed their whole family gave him chills. 

“Look at him,” George could hear Alan whisper, “He’s not even close to getting what he deserves, fucking slut.”

_Fucking slut._

George didn’t think he could be more than that. He was nothing more than a disgusting slut. He deserved to be called out for it, too. 

He didn’t even dare look at Raphael, he couldn’t stand the sight of him. He would merely crawl into a hole rather than look him in the eye. 

He stood still in Leo’s tight holding arms, passively looking down at his shoes. 

“Raphael,” Leo said, throwing George into his grip from the hold he had in him to keep him steady, “Do what you want. I need you to at least clean the blood off.”

“Gotcha,” Raphael replied, arm around George’s waist that made George feel like he might as well be nothing but dead.

He wanted to cry out, _beg_ someone not to let Raphael take him in there, but those cries would have just been as silent as not speaking a word. 

“I’ll run you a bath,” Raphael said, voice dripping like honey, “I’m sorry.”

“I-I don’t fucking care that you’re sorry. I wish i could have some fucking way to leave you but what would that do? Make it worse? I don’t forgive you. You might as well take your weird obsession with me and leave. _I don’t forgive you_ ,” It was almost a whisper, but the words he spoke felt louder, reaching millions of miles away for everyone to hear. 

Raphael let out a bone-shattering laugh, one that made George feel that sense of dread settle again. “One day, you’re going to get yourself killed with that mouth.”

It was the most irritating, unnerving response that George had ever heard. George really wanted to bite back at him, but he was taken back. Something about treating him like a joke was twisting his mind way more than it would if he responded normally. 

It took three minutes for the bath to fill, and nearly six minutes to convince George to take his clothes off.

“Just take them off. I’m not going to hurt you, George,” Raphael coaxed softly. 

“I don’t want to. You can’t make me do something I don’t want to do.”

“I can, and I will, just take them off before I do it for you,” Raphael assured, coming out as being more genial than he expected. 

George almost ripped off his clothes. Raphael _was not_ going to touching him.

Raphael hummed, smiling widely, “eager?-“

“Don’t fucking look at me.” George cut him off before painfully stepping into the tub, flash-backs of being forced down last time he was submerged in water. 

“You’re going to have to at least let me wash you. I know it hurts too much to do it yourself.”

There he was, back to the old Raphael, the one that was willing to help without a price. He was the only one who gave a shit, and he wanted that back so desperately. 

“Whatever, just get it over already so i can go to bed alone.”

Raphael turned around once George was settled in the water, “Hey, there we go?! Not bad was it? Now, I can wash this blood off.”

George let him, letting out a defeated huff as the rag that Raphel clutched gently in his hand rubbed all the dried blood away. It almost made him forget about the stinging cuts all over him. “Do you remember last time we were in the pool together? After the pool and all? That was a lot of fun. _Do you remember, George_?”

 _God, yes, did he remember_... It felt like like just yesterday when it happened. It clogged his mind, no matter how badly he wanted to forget.

“You liked it didn’t you?”

George smacked his hand away once it tried to come up to his face, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“You don’t want to admit it do you? You know, I’m not like Alan, I wouldn’t hurt you like that unless you deserved it. You didn’t that time, that’s why I helped. I think you deserve better than them, you deserve someone who treats your body nicely, _give it what it needs_ ,” Raphael exalted. 

George felt his face begin to get wetter, and not with the pink-tinted water. “You-You are disgusting.” 

Raphael laughed at that and then ran his thick fingers across George’s scalp with soap, making George jump and move out of the way. 

“Stop, I’m just washing your hair.”

George sat himself against the tub again, letting Raphael run his soapy hand through his crusted hair. 

Raphael started speaking randomly again, starting to be more aggressive with washing George’s hair, “Maybe Alan did have a purpose, maybe you did deserve it.” 

It was so quiet that George almost didn’t hear him, “What?”

“I said,” His hand gripped the chunks of hair at the top of George’s head, “Maybe you did deserve it.”

“Let go,” George tried to command, but it came out as more of a broken whimper, “Please let go.”

“You know what you deserve now? Now that you are bitching about me helping you?” 

Bile rose in George’s throat as Raphael came to whisper in his ear teasingly, “You deserve to be treated the way Alan treats you. I think you deserve what happened at the pool to happen again, you ungrateful piece of shit.” 

Raphael started rubbing his hair again after his own head left George’s side. The suds oozed down George’s scarred face, painting his worried features as he waited for the worst to happen. 

One thing after another, George felt his head being plunged down and water filled his nose. He tried letting out a scream, but it was another heart-wrenching sob. 

He tried to tear the hands away that held his head tightly, but they were forcing him down to the point that struggling was nearly impossible for him. 

He held him there, and for long. George would have well been passed out if there wasn’t a knock at the door, Leo’s voice muffled behind the door and the water clogged in George’s ears. 

“What?” Raphael asked, voice ok a bit of an edge. 

“You guys have been taking a while.”

“I’m doing something,” Raphael retorted.

There was nothing for a minute as George took in deep breaths and sobbed against his hands silently, “Okay.”

Then the door closed, leaving Raphael to dive his head-filled fist back down into the pink-orange water. 

“Stop- Stop! Please,” George begged once his head was above the surface again, “please just leave me alone.”

Raphael paused, seeming to decide to leave him alone or not, before getting up and grabbing George’s clothes that set by the cleaner ones he placed there earlier. 

“Fine,” Raphael muttered, leaving his mess that had been George sobbing in the tub as he walked away. 

George struggled to get himself up and pat himself dry with a damp, and also blood stained towel. He tried keeping it all in, but the tears spilled out, stopping up his sinuses and reddening his face.

George swallowed the building bile in his throat down that came again as he limped from the bathroom, getting called out by Alan and stung by a couple of cigarettes. 

“Look at his face!” Alan snickered, rubbing another one into his wrist. Laughs filled to room again when George roughly shoved him away. 

When they finally decided to stop messing with him, he plodded away to his messy bedroom. 

He forced himself to fall asleep on his wet pillow case that night.

…

Wilbur was shocked when he heard the news.

He’d heard it in an outgoing call. He’d made the call after streaming, it had been the first time he had gotten to call George using his actual number.

He’d only done it because of the donations begging him to tell them where George had gone, anticipating something that would never happen, which was him getting George to get on stream.

George hadn’t even talked to Wilbur for days, not that Wilbur expected him to talk to him all of the time, but he had gone silent for everyone, not only Wilbur. 

Unsettlement, was the word to describe the feeling they all felt. 

Wilbur was worried about him, really. Every day that passed with no word from George or even about him made his senses go off. He wasn’t that close to George, but they were friends and he did care about him, and something was rising surmise in him. 

He has a little bit of faith in the thought that maybe there wasn’t anything to worry about. It could have been George and Leo having some of their own time together, even if it was particularly selfish. Imagining that it was selfishness rather than something that was worth worrying over was an easier feeling. 

He had tried not to bother George too much, but after getting reminded by donation that it had been over a week since the fans have seen anything from George, he planned to call him. 

He slightly gripped the phone when Leo spoke the words in his ear after answering the phone in a shaken up voice, “Someone hurt him last night. We went to a party and I got drunk and le-left him. Some girl found him in the bedroom all beat up.”

Wilbur took a cab to the hospital. 

He had walked in, expecting to be greeted by Leo in the waiting room. Leo wasn’t even there for him and he didn’t even reply to his texts, causing Wilburs anxiety to emerge. He went up to the front, “Hello! Do you have George Davidson?”

After a few minutes of rummaging through files, they shook their heads. Wilbur titled his head in confusion but gave them a thank you and went outside of the building to call George’s phone again.

“Hey, where are you guys? They said they don’t have George.” 

“Oh sorry! I didn’t know you would visit so I didn’t tell you that he came home early this morning, a bit after you called,” Leo clarified. 

Wilbur was uncertain. He would have thought one of the nurses would have told him that they had just left, yet he ignored it, thinking maybe they forgot and made a mistake.

“Oh,” Wilbur muttered, but he thought he might as well still visit George, “Well could I come over and see you guys?”

“Of course!” Leo had taken about a minute of talking to someone else that was there with him, but the words were muffled and Wilbur couldn’t understand any of it. It was most likely George, and he could swear the muffled tone sounded hostile. 

He ignored that too. 

He took another cab, this time to George’s house. When he got there he saw George’s shape, which was worse than he had expected. He ignored his heart falling to his stomach and faked a smile for his friend.

“Hi George,” Wilbur said, kneeling beside him. His eyes were almost closed and he was barely hugging his knees while he was lying on his side, “Are you okay?” 

George took a while to respond, staring off into space before he started to play with one of the patches on his face before answering, “Hi. Yeah, I’m okay.”

He couldn’t lie and say George didn’t seem a little off, maybe even emotionless, if Wilbur used his boy language as an observation. 

Wilbur didn’t try pulling any more of a response out of him, he kindly greeted his boyfriend and sat on a chair. He shimmied his brown jacket off, setting in on the arm of the chair. 

Wilbur had never been to George’s house before. The moment he entered he noticed that it smelled like cleaning supplies, and the house had looked spotless. He wondered who had just cleaned it, if George was in bad shape and Leo was busy caring for him—but he decided it was none of his business and moved on from thinking about that subject.

“Wilbur, do you want to order food? You are free to stay longer if you’d like,” Leo offered, “We have some movies we could all watch. It would be nice for all of us to relax.”

“Yeah I’d like to stay! What do you say, George?” 

George just nodded his head, then turned his gaze back to where he was looking at before. 

Leo must have noticed him too, Wilbur decided that when he moved from his chair to sit with George and hold him. Wilbur smiled at their sweetness, maybe even wishing he could see it more. George deserved a good boyfriend. 

But he definitely saw George flinch.

It broke his heart seeing that, knowing that whatever happened went that badly. He wished he could take his friend’s pain away. 

“You’re doing amazing George,” Leo softly praised, running his fingers through his hair, “I love you.”

“He is doing amazing! He’s healing fast— bruises already seemed to be healing!” Wilbur exclaimed, regarding some of the more faded ones around George’s eye.

“Definitely.”

George didn’t seem to pay any attention to what they were saying. His eyes closed, appearing to accept the affection he was being given. 

Wilbur pulled up places to order food from, “What do you guys want? I’m definitely feeling pizza.”

“Why not? George, you want pizza?” Leo looked down at George while he waited for an answer. 

George shook his head, “No— I don’t feel any good.”

“You need to eat, babe,” Leo said, “please, for me?”

Wilbur noticed that George’s eyebrows furrowed at that, but he shrugged and hesitated before answering, “I-I guess I could eat some.”

“How about drinks too?!” Wilbur offered, “you have some drinks I saw, why don’t we all just drink a glass, get to know each other? Maybe not George though, since he’s not feeling okay.” 

“Sure,” Leo replied before getting up and grabbing them both a drink, stopping when George looked up.

“Can I have one, please?” George asked, “Only one. It won’t hurt.” 

Leo sighed at him, “Only one,” he said, grabbing another drink and handing it to both of them. He sat back down with George, turning on a movie that Wilbur barely paid attention to. 

What he had paid attention to was Leo and George’s behavior when the food arrived. He could see when Leo whispered to George, George timidly going back to the couch where he last sat. Leo had got him his food, which was one slice of pizza. He hoped that was all the whispering was about. 

George barely ate any of it, adverting all his attention to the drink that he basically chugged down. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, George? Don’t drink it that fast,” Leo scolded, walking up and hesitating like he was about to snatch the bottle. George gasped, setting the bottle back down once it was half empty. 

_Okay, Wilbur, stop worrying. Nothings going on between them,_ Wilbur thought to himself. 

Wilbur nervousness stopped once Leo sat down and continued watching the movie. He didn’t mention it when George got up to get another bottle. He felt a little upset with him trying to drink so much, but he was a little afraid of Leo’s reaction if he were to say anything. 

“So Wilbur, do you stream and do YouTube like George?” Leo asked, looking his way.

“Yeah, mostly stream and posting it on YouTube. It fun, not a job I expected, though”

“That’s cool, I’m glad you guys have jobs that you like and get payed well for,” Leo stated, staring at the TV and taking another swig from his bottle.

“What do you do?”

“I’m a personal trainer. I only work when people call me in on their usual days, so it’s really not a very time consuming job,” Leo replied.

Wilbur nodded, listening as he spoke and realizing this guy was pretty laid-back. He was starting to enjoy him more, warm up to him even. He was glad he was a good enough guy for George. 

“That’s nice, I’m basically a spaghetti noodle so I wouldn’t be able to do that,” Wilbur chuckled, letting Leo laugh with him.

“No, you look like you have a little something. You could win in a fight if you really were angry, you should give yourself more thought.”

Wilbur looked at himself, “I mean I guess, but who would I be fighting out of anger? A Minecraft skeleton?”

Leo let out another laugh at that, “I’m sure there’s someone who sets you off, wether they are close or not, there is always someone that just pisses you off.”

Wilbur shrugged, “Not really— I mean rude people set me off but I’m not gonna go and beat them up.” 

“You‘ll find someone.” 

It was about a half an hour later when they discovered George was drunk. He was sitting up now, happily laughing at the movie every two seconds as if everything that showed up was the most hilarious thing in the world.

“Are you drunk?” Wilbur asked, looked at him in concern. 

It wasn’t fun being a worrier around George, Wilbur concluded.

“Yes, why? Are you?” George retaliated, giggling at himself as he watched Leo walk over to him.

“Wilbur, you probably should leave. I’ll take care of him,” Leo said, gently picking George up by the arm, making Wilbur tense when he heard George suck in through his teeth at the contact.

“Is he okay? I think you hurt something,” Wilbur walked to in an attempt to look at his arm, but George yanked himself away and Leo stared daggers into him.

_There’s something up. Say something, get George and leave._

His thought shouted at him. They set up huge red flags hinting at Wilbur to take George and leave, but he neglected them. 

“I’ll go, see you later, guys,” Wilbur exclaimed, waving as he closed the door behind him.

Wilbur still had hope nothing way going on, despite his building suspicion and nervousness that made him almost go mad.

Something was off, and he couldn’t put a finger on it.

Wilbur determined that he wouldn’t bring up the strange behavior until later, maybe after it progresses. 

He didn’t realize that he forgot his jacket until he got back to his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New POV!! Wilbur everyone, I hope it’s nice to see him! 
> 
> Kudos and Comments are well appreciated! ^_^


	20. Irony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, i’m nervous about this and how i wrote George’s and Leo’s reactions, but i tried to be accurate and got a friends hell, so i can only help.
> 
> Reminder that your body is gorgeous, no matter what. You will be living there for your entire life. You might as well be nice to it.

At first, Wilbur wasn't going to go back for his jacket. It was something he could have waited for, but he couldn't say no to the gut feeling screaming at him to go back. 

It was pretty stupid, he had to admit, but he went back to that house anyway. 

_Wilbur, go back, there’s something wrong._

Wilbur went back. He listened this time. 

Wilbur had walked up to George's front door, knocking on and seeing that the door moved open. It was cracked already, and Wilbur could hear loud smacks coming from the inside. 

Wilbur assumed he hadn’t closed the door properly, and that they had just left it like that.

"What the hell?" He whispered. His words were just beaming with confusion. 

He concurred that it wouldn't hurt the walk in uninvited, closing the door behind himself. Seeing as he heard some questionable noises and was George's friend, no one would mind that he did.

That's when he heard the cries, the desperation in them stopping Wilbur in his tracks.

"Please," Someone begged, barely loud enough for Wilbur to hear, "Please, please stop, Leo. It hurts."

Wilbur ran to the bedroom from which the snaps echoed, seeing a sight that almost made him start hysterically crying. George was on the ground, in a fetal position with his back up, and Leo standing behind him, belt clutched tightly in his hand. 

George's cries were heart-wrenching, stopping up a bit when he felt that Leo had turned around. Both of them were now looking straight at Wilbur. 

"George? Leo? What the hell were you doing to him?" Wilbur rasped while looking in between the two of them. 

Leo just stood there, "I- Why did you just walk in like that?”

"Because I heard this shit? What the fuck is wrong with you? Were you fucking hurting him?" Wilbur walked closer, vision almost blurring with the anger that stirred vigorously inside him. 

"It's not what it looks like--he-he was asking for it,” Leo defended, waving his hands that still had the belt in them.

He was going to destroy this guy.

"What? Get the fuck away from him!" Wilbur yelled, resenting the urge to shove him away.

"I wasn't doing anything! You're fucking crazy man," Leo said, baking away, "George, I wasn't doing anything was I?"

George let out a quiet breath, shaking his head slowly. Wilbur blinked back angry tears. He wasn’t about believe that for a second.

Wilbur pulled out his phone, looking to call the cops on it before it was snatched right out of his hand, "Don't you dare call the fucking cops, man. You’re delusional, nothing is happening.”

"I’m not delusional, you dickhead. I can and I will call the cops on your ass," Wilbur said, reaching for his phone only to be shoved away forcibly.

It set him off enough to tackle Leo to the ground, showing that Leo’s gesture about him fighting an hour or so before was right. 

He didn’t have someone who made him angry enough to beat the shit out of them, and it was the very man who suggested it to him. 

_How ironic._

Wilbur had Leo pinned under him, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you hurt George like that?"

"I-"

Wilbur didn't even let him talk, giving him a blow straight to his face, "and you have the fucking audacitity to go and lie saying you weren't or that he asked for it? You better get out of this fucking house."

Wilbur threw his fist again, only then hearing George's cries to stop, "No stop—please stop Wilbur-"

Wilbur listened and got up from sitting on Leo, while Leo still lied on the ground, "Get out of here.” 

Leo still remained lying there, slightly deranged from the fighting. He jumped when Wilbur repeated himself, yelling in his face that time, "Get out."

Leo ran out, stopping to look at George first, "I love you baby. Im sorry, I'll come back for--"

“No the hell you won't," Wilbur said through his teeth, gritting them slightly as he and George watched Leo jog out of the room, grabbing a couple of things before leaving.

"Fuck," Wilbur said under a few of his breaths as he ran his fingers through the curls that sat messily on his head. He walked over to George slowly helping him up, watching as he winced and reached for his back.

"Has he been--has he hurt you before?" Wilbur asked, walking close to him while George backed away with fear in his eyes. 

Nothing was enough of an answer for Wilbur. He let tears pour down his face, heartbreak taking its toll just then. 

"Come here," Wilbur coaxed with his arms spread out, voice gentle and welcoming.

George hesitated a lot before he let Wilbur wrap his arms around his body, tender and soft as if he did it any harder he would shatter. He was small against Wilbur's waist, arms dangling not knowing where to go. 

Wilbur was surprised he let him, with how much he seemed scared, shaking under his arms. 

_This is why you should have done something sooner,_ Wilbur’s mind told itself. 

"I'm sorry, George. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Wilbur said, rubbing George's arm as George finally let himself go. His face was buried into Wilbur's shirt, soaking it with the tears and built up emotions, "I'm sorry I didn't help sooner."

George still didn't make any response, making Wilbur a little bit uneasy as to what his feelings were. It made him wonder what exactly was running through his head, "I don't think you should stay here, at least for tonight. Do you want to go to my place? I can call the poli-"

George chose that time to finally speak, pulling away from him and looking up at Wilbur, "No-no please don't call the police."

"Why? We have all the evidence in the world. That fucker deserves to be locked up."

"I don't want you to be hurt. We can go to them later."

"What? Me? I'm fine, he won't hurt me--"

"Just bring me to yours already, please," George said through nearly silent breaths, ones that held the most hurt that Wilbur had ever heard come from something so simple. 

Wilbur did bring George to his house. The car ride, which had been in an uber, was almost silent, the majority of the sounds being sniffles and overwhelmed sighs before Wilbur decided to ask George a question.

"Is it okay with you if I call Dream..and then Sapnap? At least later? I feel like they should know," His voice was a bit lowkey, hoping their driver wasn't really trying to worry about what they were on about. 

He was sure the nice older man who had been driving them was too busy listening to the 80s station that had been booming through the car since they had gotten in there. 

George bit his lip, chewing it as he clutched his hoodie tightly, "Tell them tomorrow."

"Okay, I will try. He hasn't been answering much at all. I'm kind of worried about him."

"He- He hasn't been answering anyone? H-How about Sapnap?" 

Wilbur noticed that his demeanor changed, wondering if George had anything to do with Dream's sudden disappearance.

"No, Is there something wrong?"

George shook his head, turning it to look out the window as if he didn't want to discuss the topic anymore.

"Wilbur?" He randomly asked when they were closer to his place, "Can you take me somewhere tomorrow? Just for a bit?"

"Sure, and where is that?”

"Uh," George started, playing with his hoodie sleeves as he talked, "I- can you bring me to this drugstore near where I live? I just want to see someone."

Wilbur was a bit suspicious of that. "It's not Leo is it?"

George shook his head again.

"Okay, we can do that,” Wilbur confirmed. 

They got to Wilbur's within four minutes after their conversation.

George still had balled fists in his hoodie as he glaced around the place. Wilbur decided not to make any further conversation about what happened. He had just directed him to his bathroom to wash himself, with some suspicious hesitation from him that Wilbur didn't mention either.

He didn't think about the possibility that George wasn't beaten up by strangers, but perhaps it was his boyfriend, which managed to make anger and frustration build up enough to give Wilbur a huge headache.

George came back out when Wilbur got pain medicine, not even appearing to have taken a shower, instead he just stood with dry hair and in the clothes Wilbur got him, except for the large hoodie he wore before.

"Why didn't you wear the sweater I gave you?" Wilbur asked, popping the pills in his mouth.

"I wanted to wear this still and to be fair, yours is much larger than this one," George said, voice still very quiet and a little emotionless. 

"You don't even look like you had a shower, your hair dry that quick?" 

George just shrugged, "Yeah it just dries pretty fast."

"Okay,” Wilbur huffed, going back to his thoughts. 

Wilbur didn't say anything about George’s dry hair either.

"So we need to make food plans for tonight. I think pizza again sounds good because it's just quick and easy,” Wilbur offered, looking through options on his phone as he spoke. 

"Okay," George simply muttered.

"What kind of pizza? I like plain pepperoni, if that's okay with you," Wilbur said, only receiving a nod back. 

He hadn't expected George to be very vocal the rest of the day, but it was a little upsetting to see him almost not talk at all. He had only eaten some pizza, said thank you, and went to sleep. He barely had gotten close to Wilbur, and seemed to make an effort to get extra distance between them. He didn't even admit much, but Wilbur tried his best to understand it would take a while to warm up to him. 

He just hoped George had a little of an inkling that he was safe, but he really knew he should be patient about that. 

He had slept in Wilbur's bed, regardless of his protests, while Wilbur took his couch. 

Wilbur knew sleep was something not to hope for, that he'd probably just lie away on his couch thinking about this, about how Clay and Nick would react.

And fuck, did he know how broken up they would be. How much anger would writhe in them, making them want to kill Leo even more than he did. 

If he was like this, wondering how he didn't notice the signs or why he didn't say anything sooner, he could only wonder how they would be. They were a lot closer to George, and he could barely imagine the sting that their hearts would feel.

And he would have to be the person who told them.

...

It was nine in the morning when Wilbur and George took a cab to the drugstore George talked about. He gave the directions and sat quietly for the rest of the ride.

When they arrived, George walked straight in. Wilbur watched, standing there awkwardly as the cashier walked up to him, her brown curls jumping and her features drawn in worry.

"George? George? I haven't seen you since you disappeared from my house. Why did you leave and not tell me? What happened to you?"

"I- I don't know I needed to go back to my boyfriend. I'm sorry," George replied, hugging the lady as tears ran down his face.

"Who's this George?" Wilbur asked, smiling politely as the lady walked up to him.

"Oh, this is my friend Megan. M-megan this is Wilbur."

She smiled sweetly, "Hey, darling!"

She was pretty, she had long curly hair, dark brown eyes surrounded in eyeshadow, and beautiful dark skin, which felt soft against his as she shook his hand. She looked in her late thirties, and Wilbur admittedly thought she was pretty cute.

Well that was until she slapped him.

"You've been hurting George haven't you? Get the hell out of here," She seethed, making Wilbur thank God no one in the store was close to them. Wilbur assumed that she had seen the purple bruises around his knuckles.

George gasped, running up to hold Megan back as Wilbur frantically tried to explain, "No, No. I didn't hurt him, I promise. I swear, I just-- someone hurt him while I was there and I-- you know."

Megan's eyes widened, "Oh! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I just saw him and then your hand and I was so, so mad so I just thought you had done it."

Wilbur laughed, and if he was honest, he already liked her, "It's okay, I understand. I probably would have done the same."

Megan looked at them, and then grabbed Wilbur's wrist, "I'm going to take you guys to the back and we can talk there privately."

Megan looked at the other worker who had just walked from outside, pointing to the register to indicate the poor guy who probably didn't know much about how to work it to go and stand behind it. 

"Did you get him away from them?" Megan asked so suddenly, startling Wilbur with the question a bit as her concerned eyes met his.

"Yes," Wilbur answered, simply. He was trying not to go any further with what happened in front of George—and without George's permission.

"George, are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital or are you fine? How are you feeling about all of this?” Megan looked at George, who was standing close behind her.

George shrugged, “I don’t really know.”

“You don’t have to explain that, but how are you feeling physically, too?” Megan asked. They both could see that George felt a little too vulnerable.

"No I'm fine," George said, "It's really not that bad. It's not worth fixing."

The tension filled the room with that, one that wrapped them, saying things they didn't want to say. 

George was belittling his own pain. He was telling them that what happened wasn't anything to worry about.

Wilbur knew he could help himself. He was totally capable of doing things on his own, but with how everything went last night, and the fact that there were cuts in his back, George surely needed a little bit of Wilbur's help. 

"You sure? I forgot to help you with the...stuff last night, how did you even do that on your own? You can barely reach it. You know we need to put something on all of that," Wilbur said, wondering where this all started, what got all of them into this. 

"I mean- I guess you could try and help me," George shifted, "Just- my back is all I need."

"Alright," Wilbur said, "Come with me, Megan."

Megan followed Wilbur out.

"What happened to his back?"

"He was hit by a belt. What do you think we should do to help it?"

Megan looked like she was about to cry when hearing what happened, but she led him to get stuff without doing so.

"Can I give you my number? I want to make sure you can contact me if you need help. Sometimes I go and tutor or teach kids and cut my phone off but I'll usually answer."

Wilbur listened and started putting her phone number in his and then setting his contact on her phone as an emergency contact so his calls still go through, "I set it so my calls still go through even when it's on do not disturb."

They didn't know it was that bad, if they had told you honestly. Lifting George's shirt up was horrific to them. Bright red scratches and red bruises in the shape of the belt buckle were scattered across his back. 

“Fuck,” Wilbur whispered, breath fanning the curls that made their way into his eyes. He swatted the hair away, looking at George clearer now. 

He could barely manage. 

It was just as horrifying to see George wince and tear up as they whiled hi back with a bunch of alcohol. 

Wilbur had come in with a cotton ball covered in solution too, only to have George jumping at the touch. 

Yeah, he’s definitely have to wait for George to warm up to him. 

Wilbur didn’t touch him again, deciding that Megan was just fine doing it herself without having to worry about George getting scared as much. 

Doing their best to make sure it was properly cleaned, they both asked if it was okay if they brought him to a hospital.

George looked shocked, “Uh— Not yet. I don’t— I don’t want to go. I don’t think I should go.”

Wilbur was still determined to get him to a hospital at some point, and hoped that maybe if more people pressured him he would give in and go. 

"Megan, you should go back to work. Me and George are about to call his friend and tell him what happened," Wilbur informed her, getting a kind "yes" and response before she left them there.

"Is it okay if we call Dream right now? We can call him first, get it over with, and then see what we could do about Sapnap. You don't have to talk unless you want to," Wilbur assured, trying his best to keep his composure regardless of the anxiety rising every second he spoke. 

"O-Okay, that's fine. He- he probably doesn't want to talk to me much." 

"What? What did-," Wilbur didn't want to say anything wrong. He was scared it would hurt him, or maybe even scare him, "What happened?"

"Something happened between us and we aren't as close anymore. It's fine though. Please, just go ahead and call him," George said. He barely seemed to be able to tell him just that part, and it made Wilbur feel a little better knowing he could do that.

"Okay."

Wilbur picked up his phone and called Dream, watching as George fidgeted with his hoodie. 

...

Jasper: Clay you need to get up, do something please. Anything? I need to know if you're alright

Nick: hey buddy, how have you been? i know it's been hard since George and everything but we should call sometime 

Clay's eyes scanned over the messages sent to him that morning, along with all the others they sent over the past couple of days. 

How exactly was he supposed to tell them something was up, of course he would feel bad about George, but there was something that lied deeper within his mind. 

Something that was scaring him. 

What a hypocrite, right?

He had just lost his friend about something like this, yet he goes and does it himself, only seeing them how it feels to be the one who wasn’t talking.

Ironic, too. 

He didn't make an effort to get up and even do as little as brush his teeth, even if the light shined in showing that it was a new day.

It didn't feel like a new day to him. In fact, the days began to feel like blurs. 

His fans didn't know what was up either, some tweeting him to put out content but most checking if he was busy or if he was doing okay. He didn't answer them. 

_Ding!_

Jasper: clay that's it i'm coming over. i’ll be there soon, get ready before then

"Oh fuck," He groaned, before having a mental argument in his head and he getting up to at least brushed his hair and teeth. He looked like a wreck, bags under his eyes and messy hair, along with the hooded eyes that showed nothing else but hurt. 

In a blu of some minutes later, there was a knock on the door, not even giving him a second to get up and get it before the person opened it.

"Hey," Jasper greeted, not paying attention to how he made Clay almost jump six feet into the air, "Why the hell is your door unlocked?"

"Why the hell did you barge in?"

"Because I can, and at first I didn't expect the door to be fucking unlocked," Jasper retorted, "Do you want some murderer to come in and kill you or something? Aren’t you worried?”

Jasper sat down beside Clay on his couch, looking at him closely as he spoke, "I mean I wouldn't mind that.” 

Jasper gave him a look. 

"Don't say shit like that, man. You don't want that," Jasper spoke gently, obviously not expecting Clay to say something like that. 

Clay needed to break the tension, feeling the guilt crawl up his spine that he had admitted something like that, "Uh- what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come see you, see how you were doing since you haven't answered me for days. I can tell you aren't doing well, you obviously aren't sleeping or taking care of yourself," Jasper said, holding out a hand out to gesture at Clay's state. His tone showed him being irritated, but Clay could tell that deep down he really cared. 

Clay swallowed his guilt, "I'm sorry, I just haven't been my best. I just miss him."

"I know, but there's no use mourning his loss, it isn't going to get him back or do any good," Jasper told him honestly, even if it was a bit harsh. Clay still understood that, in fact he considered that thought himself before. 

"I know. It just hurts sometimes. Sometimes, I watch old videos and— the memories, I just want to go back to where we are both good. It hurts knowing I can’t. He's so close but so far away," Clay picked at his skin, getting Jasper to swat at his hand as he talked. 

"That is fine. It makes sense, I know how it feels to miss something, but you can. If you really tried you could build your friendship back up if his boyfriend doesn’t last.”

"You do?" Clay questioned, “What do you mean?” 

"My brother left me. He was really the only one who cared for me, but I guess raising your brother with neglecting parents was too much for him, so he left when I was 14. I haven't talked to him in so long," Jasper said, "It really isn't about me, though. I'm over my tragic backstory, even if i still feel something missing sometimes. I just want to help you, Clay." 

Clay had no idea what to say to that, and he felt shitty for not talking to anyone after hearing what he’s gone through.

His phone buzzed in the table, breaking the tight feeling in the air.

"I- hold on i'm getting another call, It's probably Nick and I need to apologize to hi-"

_Incoming Call: Wilbur Soot_

"Wilbur? Why is he calling me?" Clay asked, picking up the phone.

"Hello?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed. He had no idea why Wilbur would be calling him, especially when it was early in the morning for him. He knew Wilbur was the type of person to sleep sometimes. 

"Hey, Dream. I really need to talk to you, It's important. It's about George."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I enjoyed your comments and yelling about my stuff haha! Love it all!
> 
> I have some works that were based off this fic, here they are! Give them love! They are amazingly written. 
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497174
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28403979


	21. For When We Need Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow hello it’s been some time :) sorry for the wait!! I’ve been focusing on catching up with school and I’ve lost some motivation. I’m okay now! 
> 
> Easier chapter to read I suppose :) also sapnap POV go brrrr

"Hey, Dream. I need to talk to you, it's important. It's about George." 

Wilbur's voice caused anticipation, sparking expectations of something only bad to come when hearing _"it's important. it's about George."_

What would Wilbur have to do with George that is so important? Why was he the one talking about George to Clay in the first place? Clay could only wonder where Leo was at. 

"What? What is it?" Clay asked in concern, seemingly giving Jasper the cue to give him some privacy and leave the room.

"I found something out, something not good. After I went and visited him-" 

Clay blinked. "Went and visited him? What were you visiting him for?" Clay asked while pushing away that hint of jealousy, one that wished it was him seeing George.

He really missed him. 

"They didn't tell you what happened, at least? George had gone to a hospital and they didn't even tell you," Wilbur breathed in disbelief. 

He had sounded so surprised, even irritated maybe. 

But that didn't matter, what did matter was that George was at the hospital. 

Clay's stomach dropped, "H-hospital?"

He began to hear muffled noises on Wilbur's side, only assuming he was talking to someone.

He prayed that it was George, but did he really want to face him? 

Wilbur sighed, "He'll tell you what happened with the hospital eventually."

Clay's heart pounded in his chest. He had no idea what it was but he could tell something was really bad. He let out a wanton sigh, feeling the need to ask if George was there, but something bit at him not to do it. 

"Okay, spit it out what did you find out?" He finally said, pushing the moment of silence between him and Wilbur away. 

"I'm sorry I'm stalling. I don't really know how to say it, but," Clay could practically hear the chewing he did on his lip, "Leo hurt George, and has been doing it for a while now."

His stomach jolted this time, begging for the pain to be spilled out. 

He dropped the phone, taking a few seconds to pick it up as tears were already building up in the corner of his eyes.

"-He—Dream you there?" 

Everything Wilbur said echoed in his ears, jumped around his brain, trying to compel him to do something about it, 

Yet he stood frozen, wondering what he should have done. 

"Dr-Dream? Clay?" Wilbur said again, a little louder that time. 

"I- fuck- I'm here. you mean- you mean he hit him?" The words felt like cotton in his mouth, fully clogging his throat before it all finally fell out.

He knew the answer, but he almost dropped the phone again when Wilbur spoke again and answered him. "Yes."

Clay almost didn't have any words to reply with. It was just all building up, yet he couldn't find the right words. "Where--Where is he? Is he okay?"

There was more muffled talking on Wilbur's side of the phone.

"I'm safe. I'm-I'm okay," George stammered lowly.

Clay's heart started to pump faster, flutter even, beating at the fact he could finally hear George's voice again. Yet, feeling violent tugs at the terrified and overwhelmed tone it showed.

He had begun to feel the anger finally flush through him.

Clay was going to tear Leo apart.

There wasn't much he thought would come out right, so he sighed, only knowing he could mutter curses and threats.

So he did just that. 

"I'll fucking kill him," Clay started, feeling the heat rush through his body, "I'll fucking beat the shit out of that guy I swear to god."

"You don't need to worry, I definitely gave him some of what he earned," Wilbur said, "He ran away when I caught him. I didn’t call the police because I was begged not to, but I was at George's and left my jacket. I came back to catch him hurting George and I told him to leave. I don't know where he went but he's not going to be getting near George."

Clay could say he was a little surprised by Wilbur being so protective, considering he wasn't as close to George, but he knew catching something like that could definitely put anyone on edge. 

Just hearing that it happened put him a little on edge. 

"So he's gone? Good. If I have it my way he won't be coming back. I'll be over there as soon as the next plane is," Clay stated. 

Wilbur hummed. "Good idea, you and George can stay at his place while I report everything about Leo."

"Uh," He heard George mumble, "Do I-Do I have to go back to my place any time soon?" 

Clay feels another tug at his heart. 

"Why? There's not many places to stay, besides my place. I'm sure you might get tired of me being up so late," Wilbur replied, "and if Clay comes there won't be as much room."

"Oh, guess you are right." George muttered, sounding somewhat let down, but Clay couldn't tell what else that edged his words. He had a feeling he needed to say something.

"George you can come to Florida instead and we could see sapnap, if that's okay, or we can try to make room at Wilbur's apartment," Clay kindly offered, "I can even get me and you a hotel room. It's whatever you want."

"You'd do that for me?"

Clay hummed a yes.

"I- I don't think I'm ready to go to Florida, and Sapnap sounds fun but even having you come is— different. I think staying at Wilbur's is best," George said, coming out with the most Clay has heard from him for a while, "And Dream?"

The way he said his name reminded him of how his heart would pound some weeks ago, which was something that got him in the condition he was in in the first place. 

"Are we cool? Are we still friends?" George breathed, sounding closer to the phone this time.

"Do you want us to be? I'm not entirely sure what happened or why you did it. I'm sure it was not your fault, but if you want it back—," Clay swallowed, "I'm sure we can't fix things."

"I'm sorry," George whimpered, breaking apart pieces of what was left of Clay's heart, "We don't have to be—"

"Look, George, we can fix things, but I think it's best we talk about this in person," Clay stated, staring off at something. It was mainly to focus so he wouldn't have to feel how wet his face was, though he could still feel the warmth flow down his throat too. 

"Okay," George said, "That's okay."

Clay heard the door open, seeing Jasper in it waving at him. He knew he was about to leave, but he needed to stop him. 

"Hold on, George. I'll be back."

Before Jasper could walk away, Clay called his name, "Jasper."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about the call, and I would say you could come back, but," Clay huffed, "Someone really needs me, so I'm going to fly and see them."

"Is it him?" Jasper asked, a hint of dissatisfaction rolling off his tongue. 

"Yes, but we can text in all. We, us too, are friends, you know. If you need anything I'm still here," Clay tries to make things better, but he isn't sure why Jasper would be irritated with him, so he doesn't go any further. 

"That's okay, I hope everything goes well with him," Jasper dismissively but still kindly said, coming over to hug Clay before he hopped in his car.

Clay quickly went back to the phone, picking it up and going to his computer to buy the tickets.

It was only one day until the next flight, and Clay knew that he'd have to get that one. It was an urge, a gut feeling, but also just his mind telling him that he needed George that soon. 

Maybe George needed him that soon too.

Clay finally spoke back up after a while of silence, probably from Wilbur and George not knowing Clay was back yet, "Hey I'm back. I just applied for a passport, it shouldn't take too long so I'll try to be there as soon as I can. I'll probably get the soonest one after my passport gets here. I wish I could have come sooner though, I'm sorry."

George sighed, sounding a bit disappointed too, "Well I will be waiting for you."

"Good," Clay started, "I made sure to let them know it was an emergency so It should take less time than usual."

"Is Dream speed-running getting a passport? Wow," Wilbur joked, laughing at his own joke.

Clay let out a small laugh, hearing a couple of things on the other side that made him abruptly stop.

"Sorry— someone- someone is calling me- I—" Something thunks the floor loudly.

"Sorry- sorry. Please don't-" George began, "I didn't know what to do I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have picked up the phone."

Clay lost a bit of his heart right there, the piece floating to the pit of his stomach.

"Oh shit no it's fine George, I'm sorry for knocking it out of your hand I just didn't want you to answer it, not if it's him," Wilbur's tongue shot out words quickly, but the apology was slow and sweet. He had known he had scared George, and by something small.

Meeting up was going to be a lot. Heaping piles of dread burdened Dream with the fact he could scare George. That was the last thing he would want to do.

"Block his number, George. Please," Clay's voice was laced with sweet sugary substance. It showed dry desperation behind it, but it poured out like smooth honey. 

George was still a bit shaken up, silence only being broken after a few seconds. "O-Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'll do that."

"Thank you. That was very brave of you," Clay reminded.

Wilbur hummed in agreement, shortly reminding Clay that he was there. Clay felt too lost in his mind to be able to pay any part of it. 

"Wilbur, do you think I can talk alone to George for some time?" Clay asked, "Just shortly, please."

"Sure thing," Wilbur quickly replied, then followed by the sound of a door closing.

"How are you feeling right now George?" As basic of a question it was, Clay felt like George was longing for something like that.

"I- Do you care how my answer is?" George said. It was suggesting something, like he thought Clay would feel disappointed about how he truly felt.

"No, no. Not at all. I won't be disappointed about how you feel," Clay solaced.

George took a deep breath, pulling Clay in.

"Go on, it's okay."

Clay was worried, anxiously hoping he would be able to help George feel better. The fact that he had never experienced a situation like this was not helping him. He'd have to trust his empathy for the right words. 

"Overwhelmed," George answered, "I don't really know. Scared I guess."

"That's okay, I g-get that," Clay apprehensively bit his lip and lightly tugged, "Do you think I need to wait longer to come there? If it's making you feel that way, then that's what I'll do."

"No it's not that," George simply stated. 

"Then what is it? You need to tell me things, I care. You're safe here," Clay's voice was almost a whisper, and rivers of tears show up again.

"I don't know really, just," George trailed off, "I don't know how to deal with this."

 _'Well to be honest, neither do I,'_ Clay wanted to say, but held back his thoughts.

"I don't want to talk much about it, not right now at least. I know you'll make me open up eventually," George said, bitterly. It was unfortunately true for George. Clay and Wilbur would have to get him to open up eventually, even if it was invariably difficult and a lengthy wait, "Can we talk about something else? Like how is your friend doing?"

"He's doing fine. He's helpful when I need him," Clay said.

"And Sapnap?"

 _Shit._ He forgot about Sapnap. He would not be able to handle the news, and Clay was not ready for that.

"He's—" Clay cut himself off, "I don't know. I don't know because I haven't talked to him in a while. I haven't talked to many people."

Silence.

"It's not because of the fight, well— to be honest it did hurt, but I was hurt before for other reasons. I was getting drunk a lot and hooking up with Jasper as I told you. I had stopped talking to anyone a but after our conversation," Clay confessed.

"It is my fault," George said, "I'm sorry. I am I never wanted to do it—"

Clay stopped him. "We'll fix it. We just need to wait." 

"I don't know if I can tell Sapnap today. This is... this is too much."

"I can do it," Clay offered. He kept in mind it would be difficult, but seeing Wilbur and George did it helped at least,"For you, I'll do it."

Clay could sense a small smile. "Thank you Dream."

He could hear it too. With a fluttering chest he started to exclaim, "Are you smiling? I can hear you smiling! Did I make you smile?"

Then there was a laugh. Clay began to feel his head simmer in something familiar. These feeling weren't new but they certainly left him a wreck every single time.

"I'm smiling, yes," George laughed through his words, "bit of a nervous smile but yes."

"I made you smile," Clay repeated. 

"Okay okay calm down, calm down, It's not that important. I just am very relieved about you telling Sapnap for me."

"It's already hard enough for you, I can take it on," Clay replied, determined. 

"Do you still listen to that song?" George had asked, out of the blue.

"What song?"

"The one you hummed to me," George cleared, "Mr. Loverman? I think."

Clay short circuited. "Yes, Yes. I do. I can't believe you remember that. But why are you asking?" 

"Can you hum it for me again? It was....really calming."

"I-" Clay was going to die if this kept going, "Yes, of course I'll do it." 

Clay let the tune flow from his chest, humming it sweetly as nerves built up under his skin.

"I wish you were with me right now," George interrupted, "I'd lay with you."

"We can do that when I get there, I promise."  
...

Nick was speed running alone when he gets the call.

He huffed when he saw that it was Clay, picking it up and staring at it for a moment. 

It was long awaited to hear from the guy, but he couldn’t find the motivation to pick it up.

He did it anyway.

“Sapnap!” Clay explained, “Look I’m so sorry for not talking to you. I’ve been so fucking bad lately I haven’t spoken to anyone. I’m really sorry.”

“Dream, you know I don’t mind. I just wish I could help you,” Nick stated, making his character run around to work out the nerves in his body.

Clay let out some air of relief. “I know, but you shouldn’t have to do that for me, but that isn’t important right now. What is important is another reason I called.”

The way Clay had said it didn’t sit well with Nick, it sounded bad just by the softer ending of Clay’s sentences. “Wh-what is it.”

“There was always something wrong with Leo. Right? Like you-you always felt like something just didn’t feel good about him. Ju-Just the way he was with George,” Clay started, “he’s not good to him, Nick. He never was.”

Nick had never felt more sick to his stomach in his life, it felt like acid was burning in his lungs. He knew what it was, but the gears in his mind seemed to stop up. 

“What? You mean-“

“He hurt him,” Clay spat, “He fucking hurt him and it was right there. I could have said something.”

“Wait, so where is George now? How did you even find out? Is he okay?” Nick rambled all the questions that bothered him out, confusion and hatred coming out with every one of them.

“I- he’s with Wilbur. They just called me today. Wilbur caught it while he was at George’s place. They’re both fine, and they don’t know where Leo had gone. George didn’t feel comfortable calling and telling you, so I did it for him.”

Nick swallowed down the awfulness of it all. “I don’t know what to say. I- did they get the police involved?” 

“Wilbur said they didn’t because George begged him not to, but I think we are still going to have to at some point,” Clay supposed.

“Let’s hope we can,” Nick said, “are you going to visit him? Do you think me or other people could come?”

“About that,” Clay began, “It’s going to be too much for three other people over there at once. Of course, I’m planning on either flying you over here or bringing George over there when everything’s better, but we can call you when you can and keep you update with the— with the recovery.”

The last word had come out like a question.

“You better,” Nick pushed at him, “I understand, though. He’s closer to you, but why is Wilbur going to stay?”

“George didn’t want to go back to his house,” Clay let out a nervous laugh, “And Wilbur basically helped a lot already. He probably trusts him more than me.”

“Oh makes sense,” Nick said, “I can’t wait to see him. I know he’s probably asleep right now but I want to show him how much I care.”

“I know you do, he and I wish you could come, we really do. We don’t want to leave you out, but I’m sure once George starts to open up more to me it will be easier,” Clay explained, sounding comforting at best.

“I know you aren’t, and I’m sure you will be most important to helping him. I know he trusts Wilbur right now but once you come along he will probably come around to you. He really loves you,” Nick said to him, hoping to sound sure at the least, but he didn’t really know how George would be, “It might take some time, but soon enough Wilbur might be the one third wheeling.”

They both let out small laughs at that.

“I guess, but he’s barely opened up to Wilbur. I think a lot more happened then I could see.”

His lungs begun to feel like fire at another realization. 

“He hid it. He hid it from us, he felt like he couldn’t tell us. That mother fucker scared him out of it I bet you,” Nicks words came out like venom. 

“I know, but you gotta keep in mind that is probably what happened. He probably didn’t even know how bad Leo had treated him. I had to tell myself,” Clay clarified it for him, obviously trying to get rid of Nicks guilt, but Nick felt like there was no use.

“Just— I know. I’m not blaming him. I just hate the fact I couldn’t see it when Leo did all that stupid shit right in front of me.” Nick’s character was still jumping along, the fingers controlling it going a little faster and harder down on the keys.

“Me too, a lot,” Clay said, “I was too busy drinking and worrying about getting over him, while he was just getting abused by the guy who took him away from all of us.”

Nick knew he was right. They both had been so distracted while Leo stripped him from them. It wasn’t that George was there’s too keep locked up, but his own boyfriend ruined parts of their relationship.

Nick really wanted to get rid of that guy, but he blocked out the murderous thoughts.

“Can you stay with me on call, just,” Nick began,”I don’t want to talk. You can, but I just need a distraction.”

“Of course, it will help me too.”

“And that matters a lot,” Nick told him,”How are you? Are you okay?”

“Not really, but you know why. I’m just trying to find a way out it seems,” Clay said, “but I think I really need the silence to. You think we could both sit on call for a while? We don’t need to say anything, although we can.”

“For each other’s company?” Nick inquired.

“For the company,” Clay agreed

...

He wasn’t on call with anyone anymore. 

It was the uncomfortable silence in his house that Clay hated. It let him think, ponder what exactly he should do and have done, more than any of the times before. 

It wasn't fair. George didn't deserve all of that. No one did. 

Even if he wasn't informed about how bad it was, his heart still ached substantially, more than it had ever in a long time. It was begging for it to numb up, to feel nothing at all.

What the hell was he supposed to do in the few days between then and his trip? Just wait to be able to be in person with George while the both of them were falling apart? 

He pulled his chair up to his desk, logging on to Spotify to do something he'd been holding back for a while. 

He sets the half-drunk glass beside him, the bitter taste lingering in his mouth along with the guilt that came from having it. 

But he couldn’t find a thought that cared, it was helping feel a bit better anyway. 

Clicking on the "Create Playlist" option, he typed in a name after thinking for a couple of minutes.

 _‘For when we need each other (but one of us is away)’,_ he typed into the blank. 

He smiled, deciding he liked it before adding a couple of songs he thought would be fitting. He avoided a few of the more romantic ones, not wanting George to be suspicious if he gave him the playlist.

 _Dream: for you :]_

He attaches a link of the playlist, hoping it would be soon when George responds.

Almost three seconds later, Clay gets a notification.

_George: thank you  
George: a playlist?  
George: how sweet :-:  
George: you added our song_

_Dream: I did  
Dream: you like it? You can add some too if you want  
Dream: wait no don't. I don't trust your mystery of music taste_

_George: mean :(  
George: holy shit you added so many ;-;_

_Dream: could have added more  
Dream: just didn't want to freak you out_

_George: ?? freak me out_

Dream cursed himself for being so stupid, quickly typing out an explanation. 

_Dream: I meant like, overwhelm you_

_George: oh ok  
George: this is really sweet though. I really appreciate it  
George: why did you do it? _

_Dream: well  
Dream: for one thing, I thought you'd like it, and the name is self explanatory  
Dream: I've been wanting to make one for a while_

_George: awww  
George: simp. ;)_

_Dream: oh shut up  
Dream: I know you like my attention. _

_George: I do._

Something lingers at Clay’s chest. 

_Dream: have you listened yet?_

_George: I'm listening right now.  
George: you have a good music taste _

_Dream: haha pog  
Dream: I'm glad you like it :)  
Dream: I was worried you wouldn't like it_

_George: why? It's just a playlist_

_Dream: idk feels a little too intimate I guess_

_George: what? it's just a sweet little gift. We're best friends_

_Dream: we are?_

The bubbles stay up for some time, striking Clay with worry. 

_George: we are.  
George: why are you up so late anyway, it's late for you isn't it? _

_Dream: cant sleep_

_George: I'm sorry_

_Dream: it's nothing for you to be sorry about. I am just thinking a lot_

_?George: I didn't sleep much either  
George: I haven't for a long time_

_Dream: neither have I, guys we can relate on that  
Dream: I'm thinking about what we are going to do once I get there you know? I know we should wait and talk about it, but seeing you in person is going to be so different.  
Dream: you haven't even seen me yet_

Clay picked at his skin, waiting what felt like ten minutes for a reply. He began to think he may have went to far. He blamed the fact he was sleep deprived, and maybe the other fact that he had a drink by his hand. 

_George: I know I'm nervous too  
George: I won't think of you any different when you show me your face I promise_

_Dream: I know  
Dream: it's just.... stupid  
Dream: I'm nervous about you too. I don't know much about helping you get through everything, you know?_

_George: yeah  
George: I’m scared too _

Clay doesn’t pay any mind to what he’s typing, sending it before the thought that it was a little too far pricked at him. 

_Dream: we have each other don’t we?  
Dream: we even have something to remind each other of that when we are gone  
Dream: that’s what the playlist is for  
Dream: but there’s a lot more_

_George: a lot more of what?_

_Dream: theres a lot more to come from me to you  
Dream: there’s millions of things we could do for each other, just to show how we care. We don’t do it enough  
Dream: we need it now more than ever, so why not?_

There’s another delayed reply, only making Clay choke up more, yet still he goes on. 

_George: this is so weird but I guess you’re right  
George: there’s not much I can do for you though_

_Dream: you’re underestimating yourself  
Dream: but I don’t care if you do or not, I know how you feel about me  
Dream: I can show you more of how I feel about you, but you dont have to do the same._

_George: what is this? I have no clue how you’re planning on doing that with how I am_  
George: I’ve gtg bye. Sleep please  
George: for me? :) 

He definitely fucked up. He let his words wonder and thumbs move without thinking, getting in the situation he worried about before. Overwhelming George. 

Clay set his phone down, rubbing his face. Quickened blood rushes through his veins. He knew this was going to be too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New thing for texts, just to make it easier to read!
> 
> Let me know how you feel!! I honestly enjoy everything y’all do to support!


	22. Losing Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi last chapter before the second work comes in!! I wanted to do it so I could tag more about the recovery and so that this wouldn’t be so long! It will be called domestic bliss, since a lot of people say that song matches well with this

Clay had streamed after the call with Nick with the explanation of it being something to take his mind off things, but also the fact that the fans needed him back.

There had been a couple of donations asking what happened, why he or George hadn't been on any social media for days. Even months when they had been talking about George.

"It's okay guys, we both have been taking a break for a bit and George had fam-family things going on. It's nothing that you should worry about. George is still busy and I have to do family things I need to do soon as well, so," Clay swallowed attentively, "I think this is my last stream or anything for a at least few days. I apologize."

Clay's lips turned into a grateful grin when the chat and donations started to reassure him, saying they didn't mind and they loved and appreciated what he did. They'd even agreed that he needed a break sometimes, "Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it. I'm sure George does as well."

"We can tweet sometimes, keep you updated, meanwhile we probably will be gone for some time," The hurtful truth flowed out of his mouth, stinging when he said it. He had a feeling they could tell with the way he was struggling to say it. 

It hurt, knowing how long it would take for George to get better, and considering that he didn't know the exact condition he was in and wouldn't for a while, it would take even longer.

He just wished it could happen faster, getting George to be happy.

"'Why are you even up? Isn't it, like, super early for you?'" He read from a donation, "Yeah, couldn't really sleep so I guessed I could just hop on here."

The fans might have found it suspicious that he hadn't moved his character for a while, or maybe that there were long breaks of silence every few minutes. 

They weren't aware that he had started crying, his throat burning up every time he let out another lie saying that he was fine.

Hitting mute, he lets out a harsh sob, the rushing blood in his ear sounding like explosions. 

"I can't fucking-" He beared, "I can't fucking do this."

He unmuted himself, stuttering out an apology and a quick goodbye before shutting everything off completely.

He was exceedingly thankful when he saw the door gently open, patches strolling in like she knew Clay needed her from all the way downstairs where she had been seconds ago.

His bed felt too uncomfortable like he couldn't find the right spot even if he tried for hours, especially not with patches laying below his thigh. 

He eventually felt tired, but surely he had been that way for hours after an estimate of 24 hours of no sleep. There were too many things to worry about besides sleeping, so it didn't really matter. 

Crying himself until he falls asleep to an awaited nightmare. It was natural, wasn't it? 

He wondered how he was going to be there for everyone if he wasn't ever there for himself. The thought reeked, it worried him close to panic sometimes. 

He couldn't take care of George if he wasn't alright himself, and maybe the gap between then and when they could finally see each other was the time to fix that. 

...

There's something surreal about what happened. It was like he was dreaming. It didn't aid him that it had already happened once, dreaming about Clay helping him.

George thought about how it would be if Wilbur never came back for his jacket, would he still be on his hands and knees with the snaps of a belt behind him, or would things have changed?

The thing was, he was sure it would all have felt the same, like he had before Leo brought him and the room and pulled out the belt, saying that he had done something stupid and that he had face away from him. 

Yeah, Leo's ideas of expressing love were a little weird. He was a little more aware of that now.

Wilbur had been so gentle, so kind and his touch felt loving like his fingertips were dipped in love. He'd felt so different and genuine in contrast with all the other men that George had been around in the past couple of months.

Yet George couldn't find himself trusting him, and he was sure he couldn't be trusted either.

It was strange. He felt so stupid when he had lied straight to Wilbur and Clay's faces. He felt the repulsive guilt, but it couldn't have been enough of a reason to block Leo. 

He had pretended to do it, just muting his messages was all he had done. The button the said "block user" would have destroyed too much just under his fingertips. 

He was scared really, it would just be another reason to hurt him if Leo ever got him back. 

He told himself it was well deserved.

The messages were what anyone would expect. Threats, guilt-tripping, anything that was normal for Leo.

The majority of them were apologies, saying he loved him and just got angry sometimes.

George just left him on read.

He was sitting at the table when Wilbur had asked him if he wanted to eat again. George refused with the excuse that he felt a little sick. 

It was partially true. His stomach was churning and it was getting worse every second.

He sometimes looked back at the messages he had with Clay to feel the fluttering in his chest again. He didn't have an idea what it was, but he felt so comfortable. It made him feel a little better. 

He wondered how it was going to be when Clay got there. How it would play out.

It would be so much. He had already been overwhelmed with Clay the first place. He couldn't imagine it as anything but terrifying. 

And he hated that Clay would have to see him in the way he was. There was a possibility Clay would hate that he was so out of it. How would he react to everything that happened, after he hadn't even gotten through the first layer of it all? 

George could tell Wilbur was worried about him when he sat down at the table with leftover pizza. 

"You doing okay?" 

George shrugged, "right now? I mean I guess."

"You sure? You're a little off. I can tell," Wilbur stated, looking into his eyes, "you can tell me anything." 

"I'm...okay right now. I just... I'm just thinking about Dream. How everything will be when he gets here," George answered, playing with the rim of a glass of water Wilbur had handed to him seconds ago without his past knowledge. 

"It's gonna be different, but I'm sure it's going to be fine. I don't have the right words to say to convince you, but I will say you'll feel better once he's here," Wilbur said before taking a bite of the cold pizza, a few of the toppings falling off.

"I guess, I'm just kinda tired of it all as well," George said to him honestly, "I can't really sleep."

"Neither can I," He bit his pizza again and swallowed before he talked again, "I need to go by the store and get melatonin."

"Yeah, I guess that could help." 

"I've been wondering something," Wilbur hesitated for a moment, "Are you going to tell the fans anything? Like after Leo goes to jail?"

"We don't know anything about that," George contended, "I might. I might only tell them we broke up. I don't really know."

Wilbur nodded, "you don't owe anyone anything."

"You're wrong," George interrupted, "I owe a lot of people a lot of things. Especially my close friends."

"None of that was your fault, it was all Leo," Wilbur defended, setting his pizza to the side.

"You don't know a lot about what happened when we were together," George stated, rubbing his teeth together. 

"Well for what I know, he was an asshole. He made you do those things because the Gogy I know wouldn't just go and make those choices." Wilbur's honesty flew through one ear and out the other. 

"You sure? 'Cus I had a choice for some of the things I did, and I made the wrong one every time," George snapped, "I mean look at me, Wil! Obviously, I made the wrong choices and suffered the consequences."

"What are you saying, man? You know it wasn't your fault. You had to make those choices or you would get hurt, that's what I'm seeing." Wilbur had reached for George's shoulder but stopped himself. Maybe he knew now wasn't the time.

"Okay I'm sorry," George said, "can we just stop please?"

"Alright," Wilbur agreed, "want pizza?"

"I'm pretty sure you got the last of it." A little laugh came out with it.

"Oh," Wilbur muttered.

"It's fine, I'm still feeling sick anyway."

...

The last day to next drifts along monotonously. George could have sworn it was more than one day, but he woke up without any news that Clay would be coming yet.

Then again, he only got a few normal morning texts.

And one that made him feel the need to empty his stomach.

_Raphael: Hey George! I miss you._

He blocked the number. 

He had almost forgotten everything about Raphael. His mind was full of everything else but him, and he couldn't bear the idea of him parading his thoughts once again. 

It was disgusting, all the memories that flooded back. 

He was reminded again not to trust the people who helped him. Again, didn't that come at a price?

He thought he would need to keep his distance away from Wilbur, just to stay safe. Wilbur was a good person, but so was Raphael

Wilbur had made breakfast again. George politely declined.

He choked up every time he lied about eating, starting to feel that it was wrong, but it was better to keep it a secret.

Nick would be calling him eventually. It was bound to happen if Clay had already told him.

As much as he loved Nick and missed him, it was too much.

 _Too much,_ he thought, _too much._

That thought repeated itself.

He was lying on Wilbur's bed when it happened, the sheets feeling colder than normal as sleep tried to take him over.

He swore he was close to dreaming when his phone buzzed beside him. 

It was Nick, just as he expected.

He answered.

Undoubtedly, his voice was a little raspy. "Hello?"

"Hey, George. Did I wake you up?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," George sighed hopelessly, "but it's okay. I-I assume Dream told you everything."

"Yeah, look, I'm so sorry for not seeing it, and blaming you for things you couldn't control. You know I love you and that you didn't deserve any of that." Nick's apology seemed to come out so desperately.

George didn't want to protest anything he said "I know. I'm sorry too, I know both of your friends ignoring you for a while wasn't fun. I never wanted that to happen."

"I know, but I understand. It hurt but I'm okay now, I'm really excited for when you are ready to come here. No pressure though," Nick said, "George can we FaceTime? I want to see you."

"Do you really," George breathed out, "Do you really want to see me? I mean-"

"I don't care if it's bad, I just want to see my best friend." 

George hit the FaceTime button and it had only rung a couple of seconds before Nick answered. The camera was directed at the ceiling at first, taking a few hesitant moments before it was turned to George.

His eyes didn't dare make contact with the camera as his teeth dug into his bottom lip.

Nick's face showed trouble, but he quickly put up a fake visage by smiling widely. George could see right through him, but he didn't utter a word about it.

"Still as hot as ever," Nick teased.

George rolled his eyes. "Whatever, why did you even want to do this?" 

"I wanted to see my best friend! I told you that," Nick exclaimed before his voice drifted to something smoother, "I'm sorry about everything that happened. I- I just. I didn't know it was that bad."

"It's not your fault," George objected. 

"I know, I don't know how Clay is going to react when he sees you either. If I'm being honest it really hurts." Nick looked down, not meeting the camera either.

_I wouldn't want to see me either. It is revolting._

George tried to tell himself the truth and that he didn't mean it like that. 

"Yeah, he doesn't know a lot and— I don't think he's taking it well. I'm pretty sure he was out of it last night," The last part fell out of him without him meaning to let it happen.

"Huh? What did he do?" Nick asked, disappointment presenting itself.

"He just, he sent me a playlist, and then he said a bunch of things," George explained, "not really a big deal just weird."

"Oh?" Nick questioned, "bet he was drunk."

He remembered the last time Clay was drunk, everything he had said hitting him in the back of the head once again. 

But there was Leo too. 

"H-he- do you think-" George couldn't even get it out. The fact that Clay could get drunk near him felt intoxicating by itself. 

"Do you have a problem with that?"

George just shook his head yes.

"I'll tell him to get his shit together. He isn't going to fucking scare you just because he drinks himself to death for the sake of himself," Nick seethed as his camera went to "paused".

"Are you texting him?" George finally asked.

"Yes, I am," Nick said, "I'm not screaming at him or anything, even if I sounded like I was really mad I know he's hurting too. I'm just pissed he dared to do that when he knows Leo- when he knows there's another way to take care of his emotions."

_Too much._

"Yeah," Was the only reply out of George's mouth.

"Are you still sleepy, dude?" Nick looked at him this time after the paused screen went away. 

Maybe it was an excuse to escape his problems, but he needed to take a break. "Yeah, I should really go," George said.

"Alright, George. Sleep well. I love you."

He hoped Nick wouldn't mind that he wouldn't be able to say it back. 

"Thank you." 

George hung up.

Crying, he fell asleep.

...

It took a few more days for Clay to pick up a few of his own pieces. 

He wished he had someone, but he felt that it wasn't about him. 

If he said anything about it he would be yelled at, saying they're all there for him if he needed help too.

He didn't feel that was true, but he also tried to push that he was fine and didn't need help.

When Nick had sent him a message about getting drunk, he wouldn't lie and say it hurt.

Was he a baby for needing help? He just wanted to be in a better mindset before going to England.

_Nick: you should stop fucking drinking. I think it makes George uncomfortable. Please get everything together before you try to help him._

As much as he wanted to ask for his help, he just responded normally, saying he would do that.

Maybe he'll get the help he needs eventually. The pain riddling in his heart wasn't going to assist him when he needed to be there for George.

He thought the least of himself, tried to at least, but after a few breaks from stressful things he was a little better. 

But for some reason, at the last minute, he felt he needed to get over himself. It was when he broke down in the bathroom alone that he decided to talk to someone. 

The cold tiles hit his spine as he set his back against the wall, tears flowing down his face and his cat in his lap after she had just came in. That's when he texted Wilbur. 

_Dream: hey, so how is George? I've been trying to get some things together before I come here_

_Wilbur: he's okay I think.  
Wilbur: get what together _

_Dream: I haven't been the best lately and I can't handle knowing things happened to him...  
Dream: It's hard but i feel bad thinking about myself _

_Wilbur: I'm going to call you_

Dream ran his fingers through his hair, the tangled mess getting everywhere now that it was somewhat grown out past his usual cut. It was a fluffy mess, getting in his face every few seconds. 

His phone vibrated, stopping once he picked it up.

"You can care about yourself too you know? If we have to get George help we can get you some too, it's hard when someone that close is getting hurt, and if you weren't okay before then, it's just worse," Wilbur blurted, "sorry, I just care about you too. I think it would be best for you to get help. We all need to be in the right mindset."

"I know and I want to be okay for George," Clay's strained voice cracked a couple of times, "I just don't know what to do. I got drunk and it scares him."

"You're not his therapist, you need to be there for him but you can't fix him. And—Well you definitely should stop that," Wilbur said with honestly, "but I think you should go to therapy and find something to help you cope."

He sniffled, his face was tight with dried tears. 

"Like what?" Clay laughed dryly.

"I mean, there are so many things—anything that makes you feel better and is healthier than getting fucking drunk off your mind," Wilbur offered. He sounded like he cared, it was refreshing. 

"Well I do have patches and," Clay thought for a moment, "I like listening to music making playlists. I think writing helps too."

"Right. And you have George," Wilbur must've smiled as he said it. It had come out so smug that Clay was convinced of it. 

Clay softened at that. It was warming knowing it would just be George and him leading themselves back to normal. Something was so tender about it. 

The reminder that he was actually going to be _face-to-face_ with George made him go a little insane. His feelings would be worse and his heart wouldn't be able to take it, and that's the reason he was even on call with Wilbur in the first place. To help get his shit together. 

"You're right. Th-thank you, Wilbur," Clay ran his hand across patches fur.

They had hung up, the silence feeling a bit too loud for Clay.

He listened to the playlist. 

...

He almost cried when he opened his mailbox, unmindfully taking out the mail and going back into his house with what he thought was the normal things he got. 

The sight of it just made him cry happy tears. The excitement rushing through his veins as he immediately picked his phone up and called George.

He was close to screaming at George, "George! George! Guess what?"

"What?" George's little giggle directed at him feeling so endearing that Clay just pushed it away.

"I got the passport! The next plane is tomorrow! I can come and see you, George," Clay took a long breath, "I'm crying. I get to come and see you."

George was busy letting out strings laughter and _adorable_ giggles. Clay couldn't help but laugh with him.

"I can't wait," George said, softer than Clay could handle, "I'm glad, it's- it's going to be different but I really want to see you."

"I want to see you too— and—and I am. Tomorrow."

"Yeah I know," George said, "You're going to bring patches right?"

"I wish I could. My mom really wants to babysit her anyway, so I'm just gonna call her and get her to after this," Clay said, "God, I'm so excited."

"Me too, I don't know if I can be as much as you," George struggled to say it, but Clay understood.

"I know." 

...

The call with his mom went different than he expected. Of course, she had taken up the offer and was _extremely_ excited about it, but Clay was a little embarrassed when she brought George up.

"Why are you planning on staying so long? Is he your husband now you something?" His mom questioned, chuckling a bit, "I know you love George and he's your friend but you don't spend that much time with us! And you're going there so fast too!" 

"Uh," Clay choked up from being so flustered, "he just needs me sometimes."

"Cute," She said, "so does your dad with me."

"What?" Clay said with a nervous laugh.

"I don't know it's just a little strange you are going there so fast and for so long with your 'best friend'," She suggestively told him.

He swore he was as red as ever, he had never been so faced up with his feelings by someone other than Nick like this. It was weird that even his mom could see straight through him. 

"I mean he just really needs me mom, okay?" Clay crossed his arms like a kid, "I can't believe you're accusing me of be-being with him."

"Well, I just think you would be cute together! I don't know," She defended, sighing at him, "I think it's sweet you are going over there so quickly when he needs you. That's very nice of you Clay."

"Well he deserves it and he's my best friend. I've been wanting to see him for so long and last time I asked he couldn't so it's just making me really nervous,” Clay rambled, “but I'm happy too.”

"You are- you know what you can tell me whenever you're ready I'm not going to push it," His mom was happily singing out her sentences.

Clay shook his head. "What?! Mom stop, this is so weird. I'm hanging up now."

"Alright, Romeo!" She called, which only made him roll his eyes and smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank everyone who supported me through this, and who will probably be there for the rest! Its not ending just me organizing things!! I love this fic and all of you :3 
> 
> It makes me so happy to see people enjoy my stuff and even if this chapter is a little cliche I still liked writing it! <3 :D


	23. Bathroom Stalls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **PLEASE READ THIS!!!**
> 
> anyone here, this is just me reaarranging so that the differences between the work on wattpad and on here are not that different. I MAY just start posting the sad ending here so that I can publish it all on both platforms and have each official works the same. 
> 
> basically if you have already read domestic bliss you don't need to read these next two chapters im reposting. I am deleting them from there and posting it on here.

What Clay would have given to make the flight go any faster. It had felt so terribly drawn out that he wasn't able to think of the last time he'd been so bored or had waited that long.

He had written a bit, got discouraged, and deleted it all, then had tried to give his attention to a movie or TV show, but none of them seemed to spark him as interesting enough. He couldn't find anything to occupy himself with except for forcing himself into sleep, only to lie there for an hour half-way between slumber and consciousness. 

The first thing he did after stepping off the plane and getting everything situated, was call George.

The answer had been delayed, but also picked up with heavy breathing on the other end.

His stomach instantly plummeted. "George? What's wrong?"

"I don't—I can't breathe. I think-I think I'm panicking." George's strained voice had barely managed to get it out.

Clay couldn't help but start to panic too, body starting to shake relentlessly as he tried to find the right thing that would be at least somewhat useful.

"Fuck—hold on give me a minute." He took a deep breath, trying to build himself up.

George was still taking in air sharply as Clay worried himself to death. He pushed away his longer pieces of unruly hair that stuck stubbornly to his wet face.

"Look breathe with me okay?" Clay started,  
"Count as you breathe with me. Deep breaths."

As expected, deep inhales and exhales were heard on the other side. They were on the shaky side, only going back to normal after a few minutes.

"Talk to me when you can okay? You don't have to say anything to me until you're ready," Clay affirmed. Pure concern and care that had been twisting in his stomach with the anxiety laced themselves in his voice. 

Clay wondered where the unforeseen ability to help calm down George came from. Maybe it had been his easily-hidden panic attacks that had caused many late-night emergency calls with Nick and George. He didn't stress it.

There had been a good couple of minutes of quiet sniffles and shaky breaths before Clay finally heard something come out of George's mouth.

"I don't think I've ever panicked that much before. The worse it's been is shaking," George managed to explain, "I'm sorry. The— I don't know how to explain it. I don't know why it happened."

"That's okay. You think it's maybe because I'm coming? Is Wilbur not with you?" Clay asked. 

"I'm in the bathroom in your terminal," He answered with shame.

"Look, We can meet there, is that alright? That way it will be easier and more private for us," Clay suggested, beginning to navigate his way towards the bathrooms. 

The silence of the call as Clay walked George’s direction is in some ways comforting, but Clay wouldn’t have admitted that it somewhat worried him. 

There was the fact that George had just had a panic attack, but also the one that he’d never seen on Clay’s face. Clay knew nothing would change, especially when that was the less important first of their meeting, but he could have said he had valued George’s opinion a little more than he pleased. 

The door hadn’t opened immediately when he got to it. He hung up the phone and had stood hesitantly before he gently opened it, finding it to be empty besides one person washing his hands and leaving a few seconds after Clay had seen George’s lower-body sitting down in the last stall. 

“George,” Clay softly coaxed, gently walking up and knocking on the stall door, “It’s me. Can you let me in?”

The time between then and the time George slowly opened it suffocated Clay with anxiety. Clay was going to explode with the number of feelings he felt he was standing right in front of his best friend.

Yeah, he was fucked. 

“Hi,” was all he could mutter, meekly looking around at the small stall. 

“Hi,” George returned, delaying on meeting Clay’s eyes as well, but he definitely lingered on Clay’s face a bit. 

Clay could hardly bear to not break down. He could tell George hadn’t been close to physical healing. There was nothing wrong with the way he had them, but the reason and story behind every single one tore viciously and hungrily into Clay’s chest, the pain trying to find something to feast on. 

George was breathing a little heavier than the last time Clay had heard him, only making him assume his body had gone into panic mode again. His face was red and his eyes were swollen.

Clay doesn’t jump on him and latch himself onto George like he would have if he’d met George a lot sooner. He doesn’t do it, not even if he wants to. “Can I hug you?”

“I-” George opened and closed his mouth, giving Clay the idea that he was thinking about it, “Yes.”

Clay held his arms open and George steadily wrapped himself around his waist. The hug became tighter as cries escaped George’s lips. 

“Shit. I’m so, so sorry, Clay,” He sobbed, clutching harder onto the green hoodie that Clay was wearing. 

The name change startled Clay, but he guessed it was a serious moment, so he didn’t read into it. 

Clay set his hand on the back of George's head and his chin on top of it instead of responding. Each muffled sob stabbed into him, everything once there that was good seeping out like blood. 

“It’s okay, George. Just let it all out,” He whispered into the dark brown hair that tickled his lips. 

Clay in the past would never have imagined his first visit to England being like this one. He’d thought it would be a lot more laid-back and come with a hint of awkwardness, but it was never considered that it could be a meeting full of guilt and anxiety. 

Clay started crying too. It wasn’t a surprise, either. There was no escaping the remorse and pain he felt for George and the consequences of those were simply expected to come. 

There was nothing more he wanted to do than take away all his pain, to make it where none of it ever happened. 

George’s sobs subsided as he attempted to calm himself down. Letting go of Clay, George began to ask the question that left him confused, “Thank you. Do I--Do I need to do anything with you?”

Clay’s face twisted up as he became concerned, he could feel it scrunch up while he spoke, “What do you mean? Because I helped you?”

“Yeah, do I have to do anything?” He was shaking more and Clay could see that he was worried about the answer. 

“No, why would you think that? I’m not looking for anything in return just because I helped you,” Clay established, “You will never have to.”

“Really?” George looked like he thought for a second, merely making everything he would say next sound like a half of a lie, “I know you’re hurting too, you also need someone.”

“Really,” Clay replied, not saying anything else. Explanations would be discussed another day, and that would be when George was ready. 

“Thank you, Clay,” He said before getting up, “I think we should get to the car.”

His immediate request to leave startled Clay, but he decided not to note that either. “Alright.”

They walked together to the front, George leading the way slowly to the rented car they had. 

Clay walked to the car thinking about how grateful he was that George didn’t talk about his face that much. It calmed a few nerves knowing that George cared, but his opinions didn’t change anything about their interactions. 

Clay opened the door for George to get in, but he ignored it, opening the back door and hopping in the back instead. 

“Why did it take so long?” Wilbur asked as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

“Hmm, just a few hold-ups. It's fine,” Clay lied.  
Wilbur nodded slowly, obviously taking the hint that he didn’t need to know what happened.

“So did you get your apartment ready?” Clay asked, “I can still help you, I mean even though I waited I still came super early.”

“Yeah well, I did get most of it ready and was planning on buying a blow-up mattress for you to sleep on, but I haven’t gotten it yet. I’m gonna stop and get one right now,” Wilbur explained, “Unless you guys want to sleep together?”

Clay wheezed at his smug face, blushing a bit, “You’re so obnoxious. That isn’t funny.”

“You just laughed at it though,” Wilbur said, “I’m a very funny guy, you’re lying to yourself.”

“Uh-huh,” Clay looked in the back of the car where George sat by himself. He was staring off, face still puffy, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just.. don’t make those jokes please,” George said, “They make me uncomfortable.”

“What jokes? The ones about you and Dream?” Wilbur asked, “I can stop if you want to.”

George nodded and Clay felt the familiar light pulling at his heart. He’d known there would be no further chance, no dating or daring to go too far with George until he’s better, but something about the change of his opinion on those types of jokes made him feel worse. He was supposed to do everything in his power to not make George uncomfortable with his inescapable feelings.

Maybe he was thinking too far in it, but it set his mind off. It wasn’t like George had no reason to do it, and if it wasn’t about Clay, then it could dig way deeper--and Clay didn’t want to address the feeling it gave him.

“Okay,” Wilbur said, “you guys can come in with me, but you don't have to, of course.”

“I’ll go,” Clay said, “pretty sure I trust myself choosing my own mattress.”

“I’ll go too,” George said, “I don’t want to be left alone, please.”

“Yeah, come on.”  
…  
George would have been the only one who considered the trip to get the blow-up mattress as terrifying. 

As pessimistic as he was sometimes, he still wouldn’t have expected it to go wrong.

He was walking silently as Clay and Wilbur laughed as they searched for the best mattress, Clay insisting to pay but Wilbur denying his offer repeatedly. 

He’d been staring off, thinking of the things he had been caught thinking about before. He still had those thoughts of doubt and dread about Clay’s visit, and how he didn’t know everything George had been through when he was with Leo.

A man was casually strutting up to them. He had dark brown hair and eyes George couldn’t quite catch the color of. 

A lot like Raphael.

“Hey, do you guys…” He started to say, but George hadn’t caught the rest. He’d walked as fast as he could manage to the bathroom. 

It was yet another bad idea, most of what had happened was when Raphael trapped him in the bathroom. He could be in there any minute, hungrily waiting for George to be in his hands. 

George went into the biggest stall, emptying his stomach and all the disgusting feelings he felt. 

He told himself that he needed it anyway, especially after eating the big breakfast Wilbur had gotten them that morning. There was no denying the fact it made him feel ungrateful, but there was also no denying that everyone would like him better when he did it.

They hadn’t even noticed how much he’d lost before, and it was just a matter of time before what he had consumed that week decided to finally come along. They couldn’t tell the progress he’d made, and that was enough to let him know that Leo’s assertion about his weight loss was right.

He was never gonna be good enough if he was going to continue to be lazy about it. 

He’d have to try even harder to hide it if Clay and Wilbur were there too.

He had never pictured what they would do if they figured it out, but he only knew that it wouldn’t be a good thing to bring up when they were trying to fix everything else wrong with him. 

He had only then started to imagine them making him go straight back to the bathroom, saying how his belly looked a little big since they last had seen him. He’d stumble over his words and tell them he hadn’t eaten enough, regardless of his unwillingness to fight back. He was sometimes defensive even when he agreed with someone.

Then he would remember the real reason Leo had him like he did the last time he saw him. It was to put him back into the order of how he was supposed to eat. He needed to remember not to struggle stating his barely-existing opinions about saying it wasn’t good for him. 

So, he’d imagine himself obeying them and going back to the bathroom. 

“George? You okay?” Wilbur’s voice said from the crack of the bathroom door, “you’ve been in here for a while and me and Clay are already done.”

The flush of the toilet felt like a huge betrayal, like everything Wilbur had given to him went down with whatever else was in there. 

Like it had meant nothing to George. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just don’t feel my best,” George said, “be out in a minute.”

George had waited for him to leave before he washed his mouth out with the sugary-tasting water, like it always tasted like after he had let the stomach acid flow out of his mouth. 

“You okay?” Clay had asked when he got out.  
George groaned. He hated hearing those words now. He felt that he cared too much. 

“I’m fine. Why does everyone keep asking me this? I’m not always fucking scared. I’m not a baby either, I don’t need to be taken care of all the time.”

He had spit them out, shooting the words straight in the heart like they had done something so evil and deserving of it. They had the underlying message that he had believed they didn’t care in the first place. 

They didn’t say anything, but they instead walked to the checkout as stiff as boards and shoved the mattress into the back of the car with no words to utter.

The guilt kicked in on the way home. Why the hell would he say that if we wanted them to care? Was he that ungrateful?  
...  
They called Nick when they got done unpacking Clays bags from the car. 

“Hey, Sapnap. Sorry, we didn’t call you earlier we…,” Clay trailed off, “we got caught up with something.”

“It’s good. Did you have a good flight?” Nick asked, chewing on something the other side. 

“Yeah, it was just boring as hell,” Clay answered.

“How’s George and Wilbur?”

Clay glanced over to George, who’d been sitting on the couch with a blanket draped over his waist, sleeping peacefully.

“George is asleep and Wilbur’s making food,” Clay said, “George seemed tired today, so we didn’t want him to have to do much.”

It was true. He hadn’t heated a word out of George’s mouth the whole ride home. He looked out of the car window watching cars flash by, but nothing else. 

He’d noticed that when George helped get a few bags with Clay and Wilbur, he had struggled more than normal. 

George was small, but he definitely wasn’t weak on his good days. There had to be something wrong, so Clay just had told him to stop and go to sleep if he was that tired. 

“How has he been, though? Like is he responding to you guys well?” Nick asked.

“He’s been-“ Clay stopped himself, sighing with frustration, “it’s what you think. He’s definitely not good but I didn’t expect him to be.”

“Where is Leo? You might need to know where he is if you’re going to go to the police—or you know, beat the shit out of him,” Nick let out a nervous, spiteful laugh.

“When Wilbur found him he ran off, but George probably knows where he is,” Clay said, “but he isn’t going to tell us if he doesn’t want us to call the cops.”

“Well, I wish I could be there. I just miss my friends,” Nick confessed.

Clay bit his lip, guilt creeping up his spine. “We’re sorry about that. It can’t be fun when we ignored you for so long.”

“It hurt, it did, but I got over it. I know you were both going through it.”

Clay appreciated Nick's consideration a lot, maybe more than he had thought he would. 

“We’ll be there as soon as possible, I promise.”  
Nick and Clay had remained on call until Wilbur had finished making food.

“Clay, I need to talk about something with you,” Wilbur said, interrupting their usual banter. 

“Oh,” Clay muttered, “okay. Bye Sapnap, I love you.”

“Love you, too.” He hung up.

“Before we wake him up,” Wilbur started, “we need to talk about how we’re gonna talk to the police.”

“We can bring it up to him,” Clay stated as if it was obvious.

Wilbur shrugged. “Sure, but he’s going to be pretty opposed.”

“Let him be,” Clay said, “of course he is. That was his boyfriend. We still will get that piece of shit in jail either way.”

“You mean, do it behind his back? He’s going to hate you for that,” Wilbur said.

“We’ll see what we can do, I’m just going to wake him up.” Clay gently walked over to the couch, tugging at George’s shoulder until he groaned.

“What?” George flipped over the other side, hugging the blanket closer to himself.

“Wake up, sleepyhead!” Clay reached over to ruffle his hair, messing it up in ways that made his heart flutter, “it’s time to eat.”

“I don’t want to,” He groaned, swatting at Clay’s hand.

“Please, ba—“ Clay cleared his throat. Now was not the time to be impulsive, “please, you need to get up.”

George got straight up, looking everywhere but Clay’s eyes. “Okay, but I don’t think I want to eat right now. I still don’t feel good.”

Clay furrowed his eyebrows at the change of mind, but got up and went to the table, “alright, you want to sit with us though? We need to talk but you can go back to sleep if you want to.”

“I’ll sit with you,” George said, getting up and sitting closer to Wilbur, who politely smiled at him.

“We wanted to know if we could contact the police about Leo. We would rather do it with you, but only if you want,” Wilbur proposed, “what do you think?”

George shook his head. “I don’t want to.”

There was a long pause of silence between the three of them, and it had stopped once Clay had seen George began to look panicky. 

“It’s fine, but what about if we do it alone? Just me and wilbur?” Clay nervously poked around at the food with his fork. 

George watched absentmindedly. “I don’t want him to go to jail.”

Clay knew it was going to happen. As much as it frustrated him to see George not get justice, he wasn’t angry about his answer. “That’s okay. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“How do you feel about therapy? You know, I think there’s a nice lady who my cousin went to.” Wilbur spoke gently, making sure not to make himself seem pushy.

“I’m not against that. I guess it will be better than you guys having to fix me.”

No one knew what to say about that, so Clay just butted in, “I’m not against it either.”

Changing the subject, Wilbur started to talk about his next video, which would be long away.

George seemed to stop listening after they started talking about going out. He had just played with a napkin in front of him as they both talked. Clay didn’t mind, but he hoped he wasn’t feeling any worse. 

“George, how do you feel about going out tomorrow? We could go to a restaurant, that one public pool, or maybe that weird bowling alley?” 

Clay could see that he stiffened, “Just the bowling alley is fine.”

He went back to playing with the napkin. His hands folded it in different ways, distracting Clay as he noticed how small George’s hands were compared to his. He thought about the way he moved them and how oddly satisfying it was, not being able to escape the imagination of holding them close. 

He didn’t know how he would survive this with how long he would be visiting George. 

“What do you think, Dream?”

Clay jumped, as he tried stammering out his answer, only to have them come out as nervous and unintelligible gibberish. 

“Ye-yeah Bowling’s fine,” he finally got out.  
…  
Clay couldn’t help but stare when George had fallen asleep before him. He’d been so lucky to have him facing the mattress that sat on the floor of Wilbur’s room.

That’s when another flash of anger set in. As random as it was, he couldn’t imagine wanting to hurt someone as good as George. 

He looked so peaceful, finally having a moment with no thoughts or no fear coming from the fact that Leo could hurt him again. Clay hated it. He hated knowing that would be the only way George would feel good for a while.

The fury and hurt didn’t do anything to help with Clays pattern of sleep. The harsh emotions had even made his throat dry and head tense. From being jet-lagged to having too many depressing thoughts, there were many reasons he could be comfortable enough for sleeping. 

“You awake?” George softly whispered from on the bed, “if you can’t sleep we can switch spots.”

“No, no it’s fine,” Clay whispered back, “you’re fine.”

“Oh,” George muttered, curling up further into himself, “I can’t really sleep either.”

“Need me to sing to you?” Clay half-joked, swallowing down his emotions. 

“Not right now. No thank you, but can you come up here.” He sat himself up, scooting patting the bed so that Clay would sit near where his head was. 

“Yeah,” Clay said as he softly sat beside George. 

He only then caught George's face lit up with the dim light of the lamp behind Clay. It took Clay a minute to catch his breath after that.

He prayed George couldn’t see his eyes skimming softly across his features.

“Can I ask you something?” Clay started, getting a yes in response, “What happened the night you broke everything off.”

George sharply inhaled. “I didn’t want to do that, not at all, but if I didn’t do it he would—something could have happened to us.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about not seeing that and about what all I said. I was drunk, but it wasn’t your fault.” Clay stared into his eyes, taking in the way they looked in the yellow light.

“It’s okay,” George said. 

“Are we good now,” Clay asked, “because if we weren’t I don’t know what I would do.”

George scooted away at that, making Clay’s heart drop. He frowned.

“Yeah. We-we are good,” He said. 

Clay went back to his spot wondering what he did to give George such a response. He’d remember his face looking disgusted. He could only ponder what it meant. 

George faced away from him that time.


	24. What Would You Like to Know?

Dream woke up to see George gone from the bed replaced by scattered pillows and blankets. Dream stretched, turning back over before he heard the door open.

"D-Dream?" George said, whispering, "why are you up? It's like, 3 a.m."

"I should be asking the same," Dream said, looking at George's small, dark figure in the doorway. He walked in, gently closing the door and going back to the bed. That's when he noticed George had his phone in his hand, it glowing brightly in contrast to the almost pitch-black room.

Dream got up and turned the lamp on, looking at George. "What were you doing?"

"Oh, nothing. Just going to the bathroom. Why?" George looked back at him nervously. 

"Oh okay," Dream muttered, "Why are you shaking?"

He didn't let the phone make him suspicious. George could have only brought it for safety or on accident, but what did set off alarms was that the moment George was confronted he was shivering. 

That definitely was worrying. 

"I don't know."

Dream didn't know what to say or do. He hadn't been around anyone that had faced what George had. He could only hope to say the right things, to push George pack into the right place.

"Did something happen? Did I do something? Tell me if I did something to make you nervous, please," Dream calmly asked.

George just shrugged his shoulders and Dream patiently waited for something to come. "You aren't making me nervous."

Dream let him talk, keeping his distance. 

"I just-- can't do this. It's too much. I want to go back. I don't ever understand how I feel or how you feel when I do things I'm not supposed to," George ranted, his words dripping with hurt and the tiniest bit of hope. Dream wondered if he even wanted to be saved. 

What the hell would he do knowing George wanted to go back to before? How would he sit there and manage the fact that George still thought what he had were love and trust?

Dream wasn't about to let George's vulnerability go, even if it had twisted his mind with it’s ups and downs. He needed to know more.

"You are allowed to do what you want here," Dream pointed, "You aren't not allowed to do anything, George. You can do whatever you please. You’re safe. Thank you for telling me how you feel."

He loathed the way George looked surprised, his old, more sad demeanor leaving. Dream took this time to walk toward him. 

"If I make you feel bad, just tell me and... I'll do the same," Dream hesitated before holding out his pinky slowly, making sure not to startle George, "Deal?"

George's pinky slowly met his and Dream giggled at the awkward childlike feeling of the moment. “Deal.”

...

It was so relieving when George was able to finally state how he felt. As comforting as it felt, it was scary being so vulnerable. There was still a vast chance something could go wrong every time, damaging everything around it like every other little mistake George made. 

But Dream was his best friend and he sparked something so different in him that it felt wrong not to be near him sometimes. 

Randomly ranting to Dream wasn’t the most vulnerable thing, however. There was always something missing. Maybe it was him feeling obligated to open up the way he needed after they had done so much for him. It was what they deserved. 

For fucks sake, it’s the least he could do since Dream flew over in a heartbeat to help him. 

The silence in the room that is there before Dream goes to sleep robbed George of any proper thoughts. It wasn’t a surprise when the fear came, it wrapped around him menacingly as he continued to shake like before.

It was the guilt, too, that copious amounts of it that overtook his mind. If he had felt any more safe, he would have told Dream the real reason why he’d been up. Dream had seen his phone. Dream knew George had to be doing something with it, yet he had chosen not to question it.

As relieving it was, that’s what made George feel even more guilty.

He’d received a new text then, the notification causing his whole bed to buzz. as the uneasiness began to hit as he realized what he had done.

What would Dream do if he had figured out he had talked to Leo again and even agreed on going to see him?

It was an obvious statement to say George meeting Leo wasn’t going to be a good thing, but he couldn’t leave Leo without saying goodbye. It didn’t feel right and he would likely be threatened if he didn’t go see him as soon as possible.

“I’ve changed,” Leo said to him, the echo in George’s ear making it sound like less of a lie, “I promise. I know I’ve done a few bad things, but you should forgive me. I’m changing after I realized what had happened with Wilbur. Look, he doesn’t know why I did it okay. He doesn’t know how our relationship works.”

“Well, Why did you do it?” George said, “You’ve never done shit like that. What did I even do wrong?”

“I told you. I’ve told you so many times that I’m helping you and you know this. Wilbur just doesn’t get it. He’s trying to pull me away from you,” Leo remarked, “You didn’t even say goodbye to me.”

Well maybe I was too busy trying not to scream in pain with blood running down me, George thought. 

“You should come see me, George,” Leo had pushed, “I want to come see you.”

As scared as George was, he had a feeling that something would happen if he said no. They’d agreed on meeting again after they would go bowling. The mission would have George excusing himself outside to call someone and Leo meeting him out there.

“Alright,” George said, “See you there.”

“Bye. I love you.”

Now he had a text, reading another “I love you.”

He fell asleep without answering it, questioning if he even loved Leo. 

…

Dream tugged at George’s shirt, pulling him out of sleep.

“Come on,” Dream coaxed, “Wake up!”

Dream laughed at George’s grogginess as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. Dream wouldn’t have mentioned it, but he looked adorable. “What?”

“Do you want to shower before we go? You have time to do that and still eat breakfast if you go do it now.”

George froze up, but he nodded, pulling himself out of the bed and going to the bathroom. 

Dream met Wilbur in the living room, sitting at the couch as Dream began to make breakfast. “I’ve been thinking some,” Wilbur chimed. 

“Thinking about what?” Dream inquired. 

“George is showering, right?” Wilbur asked, receiving a quick nod in return, “You said yesterday that we could go to the police about Leo without George knowing. Do you think we could still, like, do that?”

As much as Dream didn’t want to go behind George’s back, he felt that it was for the better. “I guess. I’m not opposed to it, but I don’t feel like it's right.

“It’s for his own good, Leo may not get the shit he deserves if we don’t do anything soon,” Wilbur said as if he had read Dream’s thoughts.

Dream shrugged, and there was a long pause as he finished cooking the last egg. 

“I mean, we could always do it anonymously. It will get George--it will get everyone to be less likely of finding out,” Wilbur concurred. 

Dream gulped at the thought of George finding out, only having an imagination of the look of betrayal painted across his face when it would happen. “And if he finds out?”

“He’ll be okay,” Wilbur noted, “We should get him to a couple days of therapy before we start going behind his back and doing this. If he finds out before knowing how bad it was then there’s no way he’ll get over it.”

“Right. Therapy,” Dream said.

George walked in a couple seconds later. Dream could swear his hair was still dry and his skin didn’t even look tinted pink as it always did after he showered. He wondered how long he had taken in there. It couldn’t have been that long since he stopped showering, right?

George’s look tears him out of his thoughts. “Is it done?”

His voice was too low, too quiet and passive for Dream’s liking. Trying not to let his suspicions and worries become overbearing, Dream spoke up, “Y-yeah. It’s all ready.”

There’s something heavy making its way into his stomach when they finish breakfast with silence. It was this unwelcoming grimy feeling that something bad was going to happen, that maybe he should address George that something is wrong.

He ignored it as he followed everyone out the door to go walk to the bowling alley, sighing as he shut the door. 

“George? Who are you texting?” he had asked after seeing George typing on his phone, suspecting that George couldn’t really be texting anyone besides sapnap, but he didn’t let this gut feeling go away.

George flinched. “Oh, no one. I’m just on Twitter.”

Dream bought it.

…

They arrive at the small bowling alley and then they realize it’s closed. George sealed when hearing Wilbur read the sign. 

“Fuck, why does it have to be closed on sundays. I forget people go to church,” Wilbur cursed, “oh well what about the beach. We don’t have to swim or anything since we don’t have our stuff out they have a park near it.”

“Cool with me,” Dream said.

George was terrified to say the least, there was no way he was going to live it down if Leo found out he couldn’t meet up. “Are you sure? Go check again.” 

“Yes, I’m sure,” Wilbur said, “you know this place is sketchy, I’ve told you about it. Why would you want to go that bad.”

“I don’t know,” George huffed, “never been bowling.”

“How about the movies? You guys act like there’s nothing to do here,” Dream laughed.

In sync, they went, “there isn’t.”

“Don’t act like you get bored of florida, once you live there for ages it gets boring,” Wilbur said, “but the movies are fine. Is that okay with you George?”

George nodded before going back to his phone. 

Hesitantly, he opened his messages with Leo, nervously hovering his finger over the keyboard.  
He thought for a moment. He typed something in.

_George: the bowling alley is closed_

_Leo: seriously? Wtf_

_George: I’m sorry. I’m going to the theater. How about we meet there? It’s the one nearest to my place_

_Leo: I guess. Kind of wished you told me sooner, but it’s okay. I am excited to see you again, beautiful._

He smiled, shortly caught in the moment. Feeling his heart unravel with something, his eyes glanced over at Dream. There was something about the way he sat close to him, his presence radiating a gentle gleam. 

He doesn’t think it’s right, those feelings only came from Leo. That’s why he had them. He looked away, focusing on the phone, ignoring the abrupt notice of his feelings.

He actually got on twitter that time, after a long time, in fact. The tweets were as he thought, wondering if he was okay or saying that he hoped his family stuff went well.

“What do they mean family stuff? Why are they saying I’m with family?” George asked out loud. 

“Oh, I told them that’s why you were gone, I didn’t want them to find out anything or get suspicious,” Dream said.

George wanted to hug him, even if he was scared of getting any closer than they already had been. “Oh, thank you.” 

“Also,” Wilbur chimed in, “do you think it’s fine we go by your house and get your stuff? You don't have to go in. don’t know how you feel about that, but we do need to get your things.”

Anyone could still be at George’s, there was no way he wanted to go back. “Uh... not-not yet. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You don't have to be ready yet,” Dream whispered to him. 

Getting to the movie theater, the tension felt a little thick. George knew something the others didn’t and only then did the guilt felt nauseating. 

Of course, Dream prompted him to pick a movie. The bright lights shined down on his face as he dramatically tried coaxing George into choosing the movie they were going to watch.

“Come on, George,” Dream whined, “Pick, I want you to pick.”

What was the point of picking if he wasn’t going to be able to think about anything else other than Leo and their meetup?

“No,” George said, “I don’t know what these movies are. You pick.”

“Where have you been this whole month, this movie was everywhere,” Wilbur said, pointing on one. George left that question unanswered.

“Dream pick,” George said, a little demandingly. 

“Fine,” Dream gave in, “Let’s just watch this one. All the other ones seem boring.”

He pointed at the animated one and then pulled George along to get their tickets and then to get their snacks.

Dream looked at the menu as he spoke, “What do you want George? I’ll get it for you if you want.”

“Why do these cost so much?” George said, “don’t get me many anything, I am not letting you pay that much for something that small.”

“Why not?” Dream asked, “We are coming only once and I’ve got lots of money to waste on overly salty popcorn.”

“No,” George said, “No popcorn please, just get me the slushy if you want to get me something that bad.”

“Alright,” Dream nodded, “Wilbur what do you want?”

Wilbur had started talking as George was sent a text from Leo, saying that he was there and was waiting for him in his truck on the far end of the parking lot.

“Hey guys,” George said, “My mo-sister is calling me so I’m going to step outside for a second.”

“Oh okay,” Wilbur watched as he stepped away, “We’ll meet you here when you are done. Stay safe.”

George walked outside, seeing Leo wave his hand from his window in his car.

“H-hey Leo,” He said, “How are you doing?”

“Not any good after you left me baby.” Leo looked at him with watery eyes. “I’m no good without you.”

George didn’t think before answering him. He just scooted as far as possible, not aware of how Leo was going to behave. “Me too.”

“I know,” Leo said, “You aren’t all situated without me there are you? After they pulled you apart you went into your old habits, yeah? You must be a mess then.”

“What old habits?” George questioned, not looking him in the eye.

“You know,” Leo titled his head, the cloudiness of the sky shadowing it, causing George to feel unsettlement as to what could be going on in his mind, “The eating habits. How much have you eaten since you left me.”

“I don’t like when you say I left you. I didn’t,” George glanced down at the pile of Leo’s stuff in the backseat, all packed up in plastic bags.

“You didn’t answer me baby.” He cupped George’s cheek. His hand felt like it had been singeing George’s chin, leaving no trace of the clear unburnt skin before. 

“A lot,” He finally got the guts to answer the question while his voice was cracking.

“Aw baby,” Leo cooed, “I love you it’s okay. You can just get Wilbur to help you cut everything off.”

“I’ll just do it myself,” George stated, “I don’t want them to have to track everything I-I eat. I’ll do it.”

“Okay, good.” Leo said, “can I get a goodbye kiss?”

“Wait, so we aren’t gonna see each other again? Are you leaving,” George asked, face full of confusion and worry, but also a little hurt.

Leo nodded. “I’m leaving but it’s okay because it will be better off. I can't stay here because it’s all too much for me.”

George frowned. “Oh,” he muttered, voice showing some of his pain. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Leo whispered before kissing him slowly and with love. George felt so good, he wanted to stay in that moment forever.

George pulled away, letting Leo kiss his cheek once before he opened the car door. Stepping out, he looked at Leo once more.

“I love you,” George said, “Bye Leo.”

“Love you too,” Leo grinned before George shut the door and left the car. 

Dream and Wilur were still patiently waiting where the food was while holding everything they had bought. George timidly walked up to them, feeling guilty as ever. George felt that it had been worth it anyway. He had gotten the chance to say goodbye to Leo. It was all that mattered. He would be okay.

Dream greeted him with a big smile, making George feel even more like an asshole for going against all he had done. “Got you a slushy! Didn’t know which one you wanted so I chose your favorite color. And everyone likes the blue flavors so.”

Why did he have to be so kind to George after he had gone behind his back without his knowledge? George didn’t deserve an ounce of what Dream had given.

“You’re right. Everyone likes the blue flavors. Thank you, Dream,” George smiled back, grabbing the medium-sized drink and following his friends into the screen room. 

Dream and George sat next to one another and as the movie started, George felt eyes on him. 

“Wh-what?” He asked Dream, who had immediately looked away when he said it. 

“Sorry, It is just crazy how you are here,” Dream whispered in his ear, making his hair stand up at the tickles it gave him. 

You tell me. “It is.”

George reached for his slushy, sipping it for the first time. It was blueberry, but practically tasted like straight sugar water. Not to mention, the negative thoughts that came from something like that were not gratifying. It felt like he had ruined what he had tried to prevent. _Not being a fucking fatass._

As forward as his thoughts were, it hadn’t been as bad since recently. Someone could only imagine how worse they’d be after he had eaten so much since he’d been with Wilbur. Wilbur was probably judging him for it, too. Just like Leo implied he would be. If he told Wilbur, Wilbur would tell him that everything was true and even offer to track what he ate.

 _That’s not true,_ George told himself, _You know he’d be broken to see you that way. You know how bad these things can get._

Oddly enough, It was Dream’s voice talking to him. He was talking to him like George truly meant something.

His eyes met Dream’s in a sudden and random flash for what felt like the fifth time that day. What was up with him? Why the hell was he so happy to see George? 

Leo had never been that happy to see him, not until months ago it seemed. 

The movie had ended and they left, saying little until they get into the car. 

“I can’t believe you fell asleep dude,” Dream laughed at Wilbur before turning his head to George, “You like the movie?”

“Yeah,” George lied. He hadn’t paid any attention, mind clogged with anything other than thoughts about the movie. 

“Me too,” Dream said, “I’m fucking starving. We should go get food.”

“How about we pick up some fast food before we drive to the drugstore,” Wilbur said as he pulled out of the parking lot. George sat there wondering how the hell they were able to eat so much junk food in the past few days without feeling disgusting.

“I-I,” His hands fiddled together as he stammered, “I kinda feel sick after that slushy. It was really sweet.” 

“Okay,” Dream said, “We can just get you something for later, but why are we going to the drugstore?”

“We are going to meet Megan,” Wilbur exclaimed, “You’ll love her.” 

“Who’s Megan?” Dream asked. 

George was glad that they would meet. He adored Megan with all of his heart. He just knew Megan could see right through him. 

There would be no way he would be able to show his true demeanor around her without her figuring out he had done something he felt bad about. She could see him as if he was a dog tucking his tail, she was that smart.

But he missed her. And he was a decent liar.

“She’s this middle aged woman I met at the store when I had to,” George cut himself off, “Get some medicine. We kind of became friends and Wilbur just met her.”

“Oh,” Dream perked up, “Can’t wait to meet a new friend of yours. Does she know?”

The last question came from a place of calmness, but there had been a lot of hesitation behind it. 

“She knows,” Wilbur chipped in, “Anyway, we’ll get her something to. She deserves something.”

They had stopped by McDonald’s and had gotten a couple of things. George ordered as little as possible, grateful that fries don’t taste good after sitting in a car for so long.

Getting to the drugstore was fast, but Megan jumping straight up from behind her counter was faster.

“Hey baby,” She cooed, “how are you?”

George smiled widely at her, which had gotten a look from Dream. “I’m alright.”

She looked over at Dream standing beside him. “Who’s this?”

“That’s Dream,” George replied, “He just flew here.”

“Oh hello Dream,” She held out her hand for him, accent making the words even sweeter. “Heard so much about you. So where did you fly from.”

“Hi,” He laughed, “I flew here from Florida.”

“Oh awesome!” She chirped, “I come from there.”

“I can tell you aren’t English. You've got a cute accent,” Dream declared.

“Well thank you,” She said, “and is that for me?”

She pointed at the bag Wilbur was holding towards her. She took it when he nodded, looking grateful.

“Thank you, that’s so sweet of you Wil,” She said. 

They walked to the back of the store, setting the food down on the table as someone else walked into the store. George and a different worker were the only ones at the front when it happened. 

“George!” A man called behind them, forcing George to quickly turn to him.

Of course. Of course, it had to be him.

“Haven't heard from you since you left my best friend,” Alan grinned. 

George walked as quickly as he could to the back, closing the door behind him.

“Hey George,” Megan got his attention with, “before you sit can you get us a couple of paper towels from the bathroom?”

What if he would follow him in there? If Alan was there there was a possibility he was as well.

His day was just not going well. He left the room again, only dreading what was to come. 

“George why are you ignoring me?” Alan faked a frown, showing his lower lip. “You look like you’ve gained some since we saw each other. No wonder Leo is leaving you. You’re an asshole. You’re a disgusting fat little fuck.”

George couldn’t help but run to the bathroom when he felt tears running down his face. God, did he feel like such a baby.

He grabbed some paper towels, shredding them to pieces as passionate anger rushed through every part of him. He threw it in the trash and sat on the lidded toilet seat, running his hands through his hair. 

Dream and Wilbur would never want to be his friend if they saw him this way, barely managing to get back up. 

Wiping the salty tears off his face, he got up and grabbed new paper towels. He brought them back out to the room where his friends sat. 

Dream was busy laughing at Megan who had spilt her drink. They looked like they’d already been enjoying each other’s company. It was beautiful watching them being happy. 

He silently sat on his own as they talked without him.

“You-you should meet our friend Sapnap,” Dream said, eating a fry, “he’d really like you.”

Dream was probably correct. Sapnap got along well with people and Megan was just another wonderful person he’d be able to communicate with. 

“Oh really?” Megan said, “I’d like that. How’s YouTube going for you guys? Since that is your career and all.”

Megan had eyed George as she talked, probably trying to read him. George could only hope she couldn’t tell that the glass was about to tip over and pour out. 

“It’s okay,” Dream started, “I’m laying it off now. For George.”

“That’s good, I’m glad he has someone like you,” Megan looked him in the eye,” but If you hurt him I’ll beat your ass.”

Dream wheezed and it had gotten a big laugh out of Megan as well. Once he had calmed down from laughter, he spoke again. “Okay, okay. No, I would never do that to him. That’s the last thing I would do.”

“George,” Megan called after him. She got up and whispered into his ear, “I can see right through you. Are you not enjoying yourself?”

George shook his head. He was about to burst if he wasn’t about to get alone. 

“Here, take my keys and you can get in my car and get it all out if you don’t want to put yourself out like that,” She said, “I’ll just tell the boys you’re getting something for me.”

She pulled away from him, patting his shoulder and turning back to Dream and Wilbur. 

The fast walk to the car made him feel dizzy and the cold atmosphere sent chills down his spine. It made him feel sick to the stomach before he got into the car where he wrapped himself up, letting out a big breath of air. 

All he wished to do was scream and cry—or angrily rip at his hair until he was bald. He was clueless as to where it came from, but something was tightly gripping his heart. It was just waiting for the right moment to end everything altogether.

It hurt. It was that weird stinging in his chest that was too stubborn to ever leave. 

And he found himself wanting Dream. He wanted to pull out his phone and text him. He wanted him to walk out here and hold him as he sobbed into his chest. 

—But there was no way. Dream didn’t deserve to have to go through the burden of that.

…

“Is he okay?” Dream asked Megan, his chest ached in concern for his best friend. The room felt like it was about to collapse. Something was surely wrong.

“Yeah. He’s just getting something for me,” She replied. She sat back down, smiling at him. Dream didn’t buy it.

“I don’t think you’re right.” Dream bit his lower lip.

“He’s not okay but I don’t think you need to go out there. He doesn’t have a clue whether you’re going to behave like his ex or not,” Megan warned him. 

Dream nonchalantly shrugged. “I guess you’re right.”

“I am. I know you love him hun but you have to give him space. Let him figure out what he needs you to do. Let therapy kind of regulate everything before you make any hard decisions.”

Who even was this woman? She had reminded him so much of his mother, giving him her best. Dream was overly warmed to know that George at least had her through his hardest time.

—And seemed that she knew everything. It was like she was hyper-aware of how shortly Dream wanted to patch George together, whether he was sacrificing himself or not.

George walked back into the room then, face all puffy. However, there was a sense of relief and freshness to it as well. Whatever he had done had certainly made him feel a bit better.

“Yeah. I’ll let him figure us out.” 

But Dream felt like something was about to rush in. He then realized he had no idea what he was doing.


	25. Strawberry Shampoo and the Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HERE IS WHERE THE SAD ENDING STARTS TO TIE IN!! i am so sorry for this i honestly cried while reading it

It had been a week.

It had been a week since Dream had come to England, since he had flown all the way from America just to be with George--Since he ditched holiday dinners with his family, who sounded a little dissatisfied, but wasn't necessarily angry. George still felt responsible for it all. He'd thought he ruined the family visits Dream usually had at that time of year.

The week had felt like two months, slowly itching forward as it filled itself with new feelings and vulnerabilities that George hadn't thought of feeling when Dream first had come along.

But George hadn't really been that open, but he surely felt that way. Every time he felt like trusting Dream more, it had been like he had shown him more than he should. It was a loop of trusting Dream for a moment, letting himself be somewhat vulnerable without pounds of hesitation, to falling back into a pit of doubt and trust issues.

"Would Dream take advantage of him?" Was a frequent question George had asked himself, "Just like everyone else did?"

However, that thought also came with a variety of others. Some of them said Dream would never. Others said Dream wouldn't even risk his reputation in order to do something like that. But most made him feel awful about thinking Dream would do it in the first place.

Especially when Dream had looked so excited then, tugging at George's heart heartstrings in both good and bad ways. Dream was his friend after all. He had been sacrificing everything just to try to make George better and George had the audacity to think he was trying to ruin it all.

"Your birthday is soon," Dream piped up, placing a hand gently on George's shoulder. They were up at the counter and cleaning together. They had mutually agreed on cleaning Wilbur's house since he had done so much for them.

George had actually proposed the thought after an hour of panic and realization that he couldn't thank the guy enough. Dream had agreed, saying that Wilbur deserved it after he had slept on the couch all of those countless nights and even did the majority of cooking and getting them places.

"It is," George said, tone monotone and undescriptive.

Dream seemed to realize he wasn't so excited, so he pulled his hand away, going back to scrub the dishes.

It was appreciated that he wasn't so dense to George's feelings and could usually sense it when George wasn't comfortable with something. However, only a few times would he know when

George didn't feel right. He hadn't even fully been aware of everything George didn't feel comfortable with and to go much farther, he was almost completely clueless as to what George had been through.

"Anyway," Dream continued, smiling as widely as before, "it's actually in a few days. You excited?"

"Yeah," He lied, thinking about all of the unwanted attention a birthday would bring him. He wiped the table and counters absentmindedly and ignored the burden of lightheadedness he normally was given from standing up and using so much of his energy.

Dream shrugged at George's unenthusiastic attitude, "come on, George. Don't you love birthdays?"

How could Dream act like nothing changed? "Used to. I just don't want to have you spending as much money on me as you usually do for it. You already blew money to come down here and I'm going to a highly expensive therapist in a few days--that you paid for. That's enough."

Dream had looked pained by that. "I didn't 'blow money' I spent money to come down and be with you. That's a worthy spend on money. It's helping you. I'd do anything if it meant to get you better."

There was no way George wouldn't argue that the expensive spends Dream made on him was worthless. He knew his troubles were the biggest burden Dream had taken upon himself to help carry. He shouldn't have to buy him things too.

Yet, he didn't work up the courage to voice that opinion.

"Okay," George muttered, throwing away the wipes and sitting down on one of the chairs, "what even are you planning to do?"

"I'm going to take you to some places, but I've bought you a couple of things," Dream excitedly told him.

"Oh really?" George's eyes caught Dream in a lingering stare. "Thank you, Dream."

"But I wanted to know if there was anything special you know you want?"

George thought for a second, not finding anything he could pin down. "Not really."

"Oh, come on now," Dream stressed, "I want to get something special!"

"I don't know," George said, shifting around, "Just surprise me with whatever you feel like I'd like."

Dream looked like he was thinking for a moment, considering what George said.

"Alright then," Dream said, "can you come and turn the water back on? My hands are all soapy and gross. I don't feel like getting the knob all wet."

George walked up, doing what he said. They were almost pressed against one another, but George realized something.

Dream smelled nice, like strawberry shampoo and cologne. Nothing like cigarettes and citrus like he was used to smelling the past few months. It was welcoming, kinder and softer. It wasn't too strong and it didn't clog up his senses in an obnoxious way--although he would let it. He would surround himself in it if he could.

George realized he was still awkwardly pressed against Dream's side. He backed away, contemplating his thoughts from just seconds before.

"I- Uh-," Dream stuttered, "Wilbur isn't awake yet but do you think we-we should make breakfast?"

"Yeah," George replied, "it's the least I could do, but I'm feeling kind of rough this morning so I probably won't have much."

Dream looked like he wanted to say something about that, tugging his lip in between his teeth. Nonetheless, words were left unsaid.

Breakfast had been started, food was laid out on the table, and Wilbur had been up and eating it. Dream had been sitting at the table too, receiving the countless grateful comments about the deeds that had been done.

Meanwhile, George was in the bathroom arguing with himself. The mental battle in his mind didn't help the nausea he felt already and he wanted so desperately to get out of it all. He almost begged himself to call out and let Dream come and pull himself from this state of mind.

But what would happen? Could it all go wrong?

He held himself back, telling himself there were too many chances that something could go wrong. Begging for help would just be stupid and asking to have everything ruined again.

There's a knock at the door, making George turn his head a little too fast. He felt himself almost fall, so he grabbed onto the white counter top of the bathroom sink.

"Yeah?" He mumbled, ignoring the gnawing headache. If he could get all of the medicine in the world, his head would still manage to have the painful sting all over his head. Migraines had been something he started to get used to once he had deprived himself of even more food. He'd go days without eating and then only treat his body with something small. He wondered how he managed to get away with it all.

Either Dream and Wilbur were blinded by everything else going on, wanted it to happen, or he was a great liar. He didn't know which one was worse.

"Are you going to come eat?" Dream asked, following it up with another question, "you okay in there?"

"Mhmm," George hummed, "yeah. I already said I didn't feel any good."

George began to feel his head become even more light, his body falling softly to the ground. He took in a quick breath of air as his head spun and vision went blurry.

"George? You don't sound like you're good," Dream noted, "Is it okay if I come in?"

As much as George wanted to continue pretending to be okay, his body felt weak and aching, as if he'd been hit by a car--not that he hadn't considered really feeling that too.

As soon as George replied with a yes, holding his head in his hands, Dream rushed in and came straight to sit himself at his side.

"What happened?" Dream asked. His worry seemed to be through the roof, hence the tears that began to flow subtly down his freckled cheeks, "are you okay?"

It was clear to George that he almost fainted due to the lack of food. If he had mentioned that, Dream would leave him there and call him weak. He would shout at him about how bad he was at giving into his own eating disorder.

"I'm okay," George said, "j-just tired."

"No. that's not true," Dream pointed, scooting away for a second, pointing to the ground, "if you're okay then stand up for me."

George was in deep shit. "I'm sorry," he weakly mumbled out.

As much as he tried to stand, the muscles of his legs couldn't even carry his own body weight enough to keep him straight up. He was back down in seconds, crying because he knew he was all of this was just going to cause trouble.

It was disgraceful, the fact he couldn't even eat a little less without his body freaking out. Leo wanted him to be healthy, but all his body wanted was more and more. His body should be able to manage going just a few days without stuffing his face and the fact that it couldn't made him feel disgusting.

He forgot Leo wasn't there for those few seconds, quickly mumbling out a, "I'm sorry I promise I'll try harder next time. I-Its been so e-"

"What?" Dream asked, "try harder to do what?"

George didn't answer, instead propping himself against the bathroom sink. Wordlessly staring off into space.

After a few moments of stressful silence, Dream hastily called for Wilbur. Jogging in, Wilbur came to George's other side and placed a hand on his shoulder. Inevitably, George jumped, almost backing away as well.

George's eyes were closed. He was slowly breathing in and out as he waited for the worse to happen.

"What happened?" He heard a muffled Wilbur say.

"I have no clue," Dream said, "all I know is that he can't stand and it looks like he's about to pass out. Should we bring him to an ER?"

The frightening, most dreaded question came next. It was a concerned ask from Wilbur, one that threw George off a little. "George when was the last time you ate?"

Nothing came out of him. Crawling up into a hole deemed ideal to him at the moment. He definitely was about to be fucked up, but he would rather be caught in honesty rather than a little white lie.

He decided not to say anything when he heard Wilbur speak again.

"I don't remember the last time I saw him eat," Wilbur began, sounding defeated, "I mean, he says he eats before or after meals we have together or he says that he doesn't feel good."

Regardless of the genuine gentleness of his voice, Wilbur's words had begun to feel twisted in George's ears. Wilbur must be angry at him, it was expected.  
He had to be honest. The situation was obvious now and this new problem they would have to face was evident. He couldn't keep it away anymore, even if it would end in them shaming him for his body. "I'm lying. I know. I'm sorry. It's been a few days."

...

"No-no," Dream breathed, his throat began to feel tight. He had asked himself when the tears had started to fall prominently along his features, "It's okay. We just need to take you somewhere, get you help and get you something to eat."

Dream wanted to break everything in the room, tear it all down until nothing was left. The rushing anger felt even worse when George looked like he was taken surprised by Dream's words.

"You get him into the car and I'll make something light for his stomach," Wilbur said.

George's words haunted him as he helped him get up and walk to the car, George's body leaning against his own. "I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time."

George got himself the rest of the way into the car, ignoring the protests of Dream. Dream let him, knowing he probably felt like he was being babied too much. He knew how stubborn George could be sometimes.

Once George was in the car, it had taken all of Dream to stop himself from driving his way to wherever Leo was and beating him until he was bloody enough to be unrecognizable.

He knew exactly what George meant when he said what he said.

"I'll be right back," Dream said to George once he couldn't take it anymore. He walked to the room he and George stayed in and slammed the door closed.

"Fuck!" He cursed, leaning his head on the wall and slamming his fist into it. His knuckles burned and scrapes were beginning to show, yet he didn't feel himself caring enough. His anger was too distracting.

He ran his fingers through his thick hair as the warm blood that ran rapidly through his body scorched his skin. His head ached, his throat felt dry and the room appeared to close in on him. It felt tight and suffocating, giving him the need to get out.

"I'll fucking kill him," He told Wilbur once he was out of the room, "it's all his fault. That mother fucker is the reason this is happening."

"Wait? What?" Wilbur questioned as he suddenly quit stirring the food he had, "you mean Leo is the reason George hasn't been eating?"

"George start-started telling me he 'could do better next time.' There's no other reason he would say that," Dream stated, clenching his fists. Every single ounce of him hated Leo for everything he had done. Before, the hatred had been spread out and there were only moments he felt like everything was against him, but now the fury came back and hit him as hard as it could.

"Really? We might need to ask George some questions," Breathed Wilbur, "and the soups heated up. We should go now."

Grabbing the small portion of soup and a couple water bottles, they brought themselves and their things to the car. Dream climbed into the back, handing George everything he needed.

"Do you feel like eating this?" Dream asked, "I know it doesn't feel like the right time to try and get you to eat but--but you need to try."

"You don't have to," Wilbur butt in, "but if you don't want to feel more lightheaded then you should."

George's eyes shifted around like he was thinking of what to do--or maybe trying to find out if he was even okay or not. Dream really couldn't put a finger on it.

"Here. It's okay if you eat. That's what we want," Dream suggested, pulling out another small bowl that they had grabbed last minute, "I got some for me too. How 'bout we eat together? Would that make you feel any better?"

"No?" Almost sounding like he was asking that was a valid answer, "when we get there I'll eat it. I don't want to spill it everywhere. You know we will have to wait forever."

"Oh," Dream went, "That's okay. You can do what you want. As long as you do end up eating it soon."

George began to tear up, looking away from Dream and at the floorboard. Dream also noticed him shaking and pulling nervously at his clothes.

He was panicking, Dream could see that. There was something wrong, but Dream didn't blame him. He had no idea what was coming now that everyone knew he hadn't been eating.

"Do you want to lay your head down?" Dream asked and continued when George nodded, "Here."

George laid his head onto Dream's lap where he patted it, facing the back of the driver's seat.

"Did Leo ask you to do this?" Dream had asked after a few minutes of silence and letting George calm himself down. He let his fingers run through the short dark hair. George's hair felt smooth and soft, yet greasy. He hummed and remembered that George had taken a shower last night. He shouldn't have dirty hair if he had washed it.

Maybe his hair just got greasy easily.

"Uh," George began, "He's helping me get healthier. Said I need to cut back a few things."

"George, He's delusional. That's nowhere near healthy," Dream said, playing with a piece of longer hair.

"Come to think of it," Wilbur began, "that guy ate a bunch when I was there. He's probably insecure about himself."

"He does eat a bunch sometimes," George told them, "but we-we never ate together that much."

Dream held back his threatening thoughts, not wanting to scare George any more than he already was. He continued to play with his hair, curling it between his fingers.

"I'm sorry about-about all of this," George stuttered, "I didn't mean for it to get this way."

"It's okay," Wilbur assured, parking the car, "not your fault and....plus, you needed a doctor's visit anyway."

After gathering up everything and taking it inside, George followed slowly behind. They sat at a couple of seats and pulled out the food.

"They-they're all looking at me," George stuttered. His voice wavered. "They're judging me."

"Oh," Dream mumbled, catching the eyes of a few people and even giving some of them stares in hopes they would look away, "Ignore them. Let's just eat."

Dream faced George as they began to eat the small portion together. As much as they avoided eye contact, it felt more comforting to be in the presence of each other.

"Alright," Dream began once George was through, "you did great. I'm proud of you, George."

"Im proud of you as well," Wilbur declared. He gave a wide smile.

George was hard to read, but he muttered a quick "thank you" and did his own thing on his phone.

They had waited for nearly an half an hour before they were able to go, but George had asked specifically to be alone while the doctors took care of him.

"Are you guys family?" The nurse had asked.

"No they aren't." George answered honestly, rubbing his neck. Dream had secretly hoped he would let them be in there with him, but he didn't want to make George uncomfortable. "I don't want them in there."

"Alright," The nurse said, waving her hand in the direction they were about to go, "come on with me."  
...

It had been about an hour or two before the nurse came out.

"We are going to keep him in the hospital until we can sort of," She trailed off, "get him back to normal. We'll tell you everything once we get you to his room."

They walked quickly to one of the rooms, setting down on chairs as the doctor began talking. She had a male nurse beside her and the woman who had walked them in.

Dream had noticed their judgmental looks they gave to George, but he let them slide.

Dream looked at George, who had been silently staring off.

"He wouldn't tell us what happened with the bruises," She started, "but we are allowed to tell you we think he has Anorexia. Has he avoided any meals? He may have even thrown his food up some times...He's severely underweight and we have done many lab tests that can lead to this conclusion, but we need your answers to know for sure."

Dream felt his heart begin to break into pieces, like the world was taking a hammer to his heart and smashing it into ashes. Dream didn't know how to deal with new information like this, even if he knew what was going on before, being bluntly told the the possible diagnosis was terrifying.

"Yes," Dream forced himself to say, "he has avoided almost every meal since we have been with him."

Her expression showed pity, but she went back to talking, "we'll have to keep him a couple nights to get him back to better health. But you should know Anorexia causes a lot of problems that are long term too. We might need to get him to a mental hospital if that's—"

"No," George said, "sorry, I just don't want to go to one."

As much as Dream wanted to believe it would help, he felt that what George needed was different. George didn't need the stress of countless doctors on him about eating, he needed someone patient and willing to help. He needed someone who understood.

"I don't think it will be the best," Dream said, "is there anything else?"

"Well," The female nurse butt in, raising her eyebrows, "never thought I'd see a thing like this. You'd think an adult would know better! He must be desperate for attention."

Dream desired to hit the woman, to see her shocked face as he slapped the smug expression off of it. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Don't you dare talk to my wife that way!" The male nurse said, "she's just telling her opinion. And she's right! You never hear men having one. Normal people suck it up and work out!"

Dream stood up, getting in his face, resisting every urge to grab his collar and hit him too. The nurse had to be at least six inches shorter than him. "I swear I will— If you don't fucking get on with it and keep your dumb ass opinions to yourself then I'll make you fucking regret saying anything to us."

The guy looked threatened. Dream felt a sense of pleasure in the fact that it worked. He wouldn't call himself intimidating that often, but the nurse had been crossing lines. He just hoped he wouldn't have to touch anyone and get arrested.

"Alright," The doctor interrupted with an abrupt cough, looking at the two nurses, "you should probably go. I'll inform everyone of your behavior if you don't open up and apologize later."

The nurses nervously walked away and the doctor went back to explaining things. "I recommend getting him good quality therapy if you don't want to go any further. If you are with him all the time I'd say you keep a close eye on him. You may feel like a controlling parent in these situations but it's for the better."

She was right, Dream did feel he'd been acting that way. George was no kid and the constant care and prying felt wrong. He knew he was doing everything he could the right way, but what did George think?

"We are getting him therapy soon. It's really expensive but we are hoping it will be good," Wilbur told her, "we all need a little something."

"Thank you for your time," The doctor said, "I'm going to go and we'll come back with you with the proper diagnosis and we might give him some medication to help weight gain."

"Okay," Dream said as he watched her walk away. He finally got a good look at George, who was still with shock.

"Wait. What's wrong?" He asked, scooting up to George, "you okay?"

"I'm sorry for this," He said, shaky breath and everything, "you shouldn't have to deal with me. I'm sorry you got mad."

Dream gasped from the sudden realization. He scared George when he got aggressive with the doctors. "Oh my god I'm so fucking dumb."

He looked at George, giving him sincerity and gentleness in his words, "I'm sorry George. I'm not mad at you okay? I was mad at those dickheads who were insulting you."

He didn't continue when George had said nothing back.

Wilbur tapped Dream on his shoulder, interrupting them. He signaled Dream to follow him outside.

"We need to go to the cops," Wilbur said, "we really need to. You saw how he was. Leo must have fucking starved him! That asshole deserves to be put in jail for the rest of his life."

"I don't know," Dream shrugged, "I think we should wait until George would be better to do it. That way he won't be as mad if we have to end up doing it behind his back."

"I know but," Wilbur argued, "Wouldn't you want him gone too?"

Dream thought for a second. Would this be the best idea? "We will talk about this later."

They walked back in, seeing George up from his bed.

"George? What are you doing?" Dream nervously asked, "you shouldn't be out of bed."

"And you shouldn't be doing shit behind my back," George said, poison traced in his voice, "I trusted you! I told you guys I didn't want you to do that, and now you are planning to go behind my back?"

Dream stood there frozen in surprise. "I'm sorry. I don't wanna do it, I promise we won't."

George had tears running down his face now. "I'm fucking done trusting people. Every single time I trust someone they fucking ruin it."

Dream wonders who else he was talking about.

Dream and Wilbur stood there, letting George continue. "You guys don't understand mine and his relationship. It may seem bad but he loves me! You guys just ruined that too!"

George's face was covered in tears. Dream was surprised he was able to even speak clearly.

Dream felt himself slipping, tumbling down a rabbit hole before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry George. I won't do it, but that's not true. Someone who loves you does not fucking starve you or hit you. He-He doesn't pull you from the people who really love you! You deserve better.." Dream sighed and looked at George with the most sincere eyes, "George, I-I love you. I'm always going to be here for you and I'll never make you feel scared. I love you for who you are. I love you in a way that you don't understand."

Dream was crying too. He could barely manage to see and his voice cracked ever so often.

It was George's turn to be frozen. He hadn't even said a word for what felt like years before he spoke again softly. "I'm sorry for getting angry. I know you don't understand, but i'm also sorry to tell you that-."

George seemed to stop himself, thinking for a moment, "I don't think I feel what you feel about me, if you are saying what I think you are saying."

As much as Dream knew that before, his heart was further shattered again. It was like George had stomped on the ashes left from before. "I-"

"Can I stay here alone for just one night?" George asked, "look I love you guys but I need space today, I don't think I can forgive you yet."

Dream knew it was best. He needed space too after what George told him. He felt himself get heavy as they said their goodbyes and walked out of the hospital.

"That was-" Wilbur started, "I'm starting to agree with what you said. I'm sorry for pushing it."

Dream nodded. "It's okay."

"Are you okay? I didn't know about the... thing," Wilbur looked at him softly, pity in his soft brown eyes.

"I don't know," Dream answered, "I didn't mean to even say it. I'll deal with it."

Wilbur nodded. "Let's get to the house."

Dream cried on the way home.  
...  
Dream glanced at the presents lying neatly in the closet. They were George's and he was excited as ever to give them to him.

He was devastated to know he'd have to spend his birthday in the hospital. He hoped maybe he would be released in time.

Then he began to write. He needed something to make George realize he was there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this may be confusing but this is the sad ending starting to come in. I know I told yall the other work is the sequel but It actually is just the alt ending. this is now the official ending even if I said it was going to be happy. 
> 
> love yall!


End file.
